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To not want to be dragged into their row

(5 Posts)
Busybee232 Tue 02-Apr-19 11:58:11

I've got two really good friends who have fallen out. The cause has been a few different things but to sum up friend A thinks friend B .has dropped her for new friends who have a hard partying lifestyle and that friend B is going down the wrong path.
Friend B thinks friend A gets drunk and is verbally abusive and cannot talk rationally about what is bothering her .They were both recently at a party and had a huge row,I wasn't there so can't say exactly what has happened.
I feel that both of the above statements are true,however a large group of us including A and B are meant to be going away next month and they are not talking to each other. This is bad enough but now I keep getting phone calls from them regarding the situation ,I wasn't there when the last row happened so don't want to get involved.
I feel like I am being sucked in how do I stay friends with them both?

LL83 Tue 02-Apr-19 12:00:36

You have to be honest with them "I won't choose between you, I don't want to talk about it and I hope you resolve it before weekend away."

Brilliantidiot Tue 02-Apr-19 12:04:31

I had this once and the answer from me was I'm not choosing sides, as I was being pulled in both directions I said to both that the first one of you that demands that I do take sides and get involved will no longer be counted as a friend.
I'm still friends with both, though they're not with each other.

Busybee232 Tue 02-Apr-19 12:07:36

It's a really hard situation and to be fair I don't want to go away if their going to row the whole time. One of them wants to talk and the other doesn't personally I think they need to if we are all going away but not sure how to get that across without looking like I'm taking a side

TixieLix Tue 02-Apr-19 12:35:13

If one of them calls and starts talking about it cut them off immediately "Stop right there! I don't want to talk about it as I will not take sides or choose between you. My only comment is that you and A/B need to resolve your differences before we go away next month as it would be awful if any animosity spoiled the trip for the rest of the group." Then move swiftly on to another subject, maybe have an opener prepared, "hey, did you hear about...."

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