My daughter was born by c section 2 weeks today, the first week felt like a breeze. I was up and walking around within 12 hours bleeding stopped after 36 hours and I honestly felt amazing for the first week. Since the stitches dissolved I've been in agony with a stabbing burning pain at one end of my incision site.
My brother lives with me as well as having a 12 and 9 year old dc to help out. My mum sister and dad all live in the same village just 5 minutes away. Yet since the day I got home from hospital (3 days after section) I've been expected to just carry on as normal. My brother works 4 on 4 off yet spends his days off on his phone or tablet oblivious to everything around him. I have seen my mum once and no one else has been to see if I need any help.
This morning my 12 year old skived of school, he managed to drop a heavy coffee table on my foot while I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. I was up most of the night either with the baby or with my 3 year old who has an ear infection. I have now just felt a tear at my incision site after lifting a heavy bin liner in the outside bin and picking up a heavy wash basket of wet washing. I asked my brother to sort the shed on his days off ready for my sons new bike that I've got him for his birthday and to mow the grass, neither got done. So now on top of looking after 2 toddlers, a preemie baby and sorting the house I have to do these too.
Is it too much to ask for a bit of support and help while I am trying to recover from surgery?
I think it's pretty disgusting really. I expect they are just doing what they usually do and normally you've been ok with it. In one way you've made a rod for your own back, but you need more help now. Talk to them and get the younger ones doing little things, and the others more. I've not had a c section myself, but I'm sure you're not supposed to be lifting anything too heavy yet. Also try to make it a regular thing in future, because if you're ill it will be the same sort of situation. Things have got to change now you've got a baby.
It's no clear from your post- how much help have you asked for from them? You are doing too much- you know this. Kids and brother may not step up independently- and you don't appear to have asked them to. Is there a partner who should also be helping? Maybe don't assume and actually delegate tasks. Good luck.
The father left while I was still pregnant for a woman with no kids 🙄 and hasn't been seen since. I have tried asking for help, I either get told 'I'll do it in a minute' or I haven't got time to come down and help. I've tried not doing anything and seeing if anyone else will just do it but it never gets done. I've got the midwife or health visitor out almost daily as baby was born early and I don't want to look like I'm not coping so I just get on with it. Midwife is coming later today so will get her to have a look but it did look fine on Friday when the health visitor had a look. I know I should be resting but if I don't do it no one will
My brother does pay rent and help with the bills and often can be quite good at helping. He is good with the other kids and helps with those while I am with baby but house work often just gets left unless I do it or explode about no one helping. Baby was 4 weeks early but had a few health issues when born so although she is home and doing much better I don't sleep much for worrying or having to wake for feeds