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To think life cant go on like this...

(8 Posts)
namechange191 Mon 25-Mar-19 07:43:33

(Sorry it is so long, hopefully there is paragraphs but I am on the app 😬)

So nearly 4 years ago my DM fell out with my DSis, wont go into detail because it is very long and petty! I ended up falling out with Dsis as her son was saying horrible stuff about my disabled mum. Me and DSis made up when my DD was born and we would meet up to take the kids out, DM was fine with this and happy we had a relationship! DM and Dsis would just ignore each other at family events. Dm tried to make things right even showing up at Dsis and having the door closed in her face (she is VERY bitter) THEN out of no were Dsis blocked my number and just shut me out of her life, my other Dsis asked her why and she said she deleted whatsapp hmm but DH could still see her so that was BS, so I never got an explanation and when I did finally text of DH phone she ignored me 3 times then blocked his number!!

ANYWAY!!!! It is at a point now she hasn't spoken to DM for almost 4 years and to me for 1, BUT the worst part is she has told my SIL that she isn't going to any family events that me or DM are present... so usually she and her children miss out because SIL isn't going to not invite us to her children's party's etc. This weekend was my DN birthday and she wanted all of her cousins there so obvs me and DM said thats fine and we will miss out so Dsis and her DC could go because my Dsis is such a child & wouldn't go if we did meaning DN (who had the party) would be upset.

But it has REALLY pissed me of! The fact my almost 40 year old sister would rather see her 2 year old niece and nephew miss out on their cousins birthday than grit her teeth and look the other way is really getting to me! And I honestly feel like telling her shes a pathetic piece of *hit 😁 but then again I am clearly more of an adult than she ever choses to be because iv never once confronted her for her sad behaviour..

I get it my Dsis doesn't want to know us for what ever reason that is we will never know (even though she doesnt mind talking about me to other Dsis hmm) but AIBU to think life cant go on like this !? The kids are getting older now and it just Isn't fair on them....

swingofthings Mon 25-Mar-19 07:49:37

It's her choice. It sounds like she's been hurt by you DM and subsequently by you. You not seeing why doesn't mean she hasn't. If she's happier with no contact then it needs to be respected.

If you want to try to rekindle a relationship with her, I would try to focus on why she might have felt so hurt that no contact was easier for her. People are different and even though it might be hard to understand why she would get upset over things that don't bother you at all, the end result is the same, she is upset and hurt and would rather have no contact as she feels better when she doesn't.

namechange191 Mon 25-Mar-19 08:00:26

@swingofthings she told me she doesn't want contact me my DM as they fall out alot and she doesn't want her 'in and out' of the kids lives, which is fair enough!! But I literally did NOTHING, I always went to her house, always asked HER to meet up...

Adversecamber22 Mon 25-Mar-19 08:22:39

With regret I have cut one of my sisters out of my life, I wish I hadn’t had to again the story is long.

What I can say is sometimes there is fallout to non involved parties as the familial link is an in road.

How old was your nephew when he was horrible about your Mother, was it about her disability or something totally different?

namechange191 Mon 25-Mar-19 08:40:09

@Adversecamber22 he was 19 with his own child, he said something about she should get of her fat ass and go and see my Dsis, it really gets to me because my sister has never acknowledge my mums disability but it has passed on to some grandchildren inc my Dsis son and he is treated like he has a disability but my DM isn't 🙄

JoinedTheDarksideForKylo Mon 25-Mar-19 08:45:08

I absolutely swear I've read this thread before... is this the second time you posted this OP?

namechange191 Mon 25-Mar-19 08:52:55

@JoinedTheDarksideForKylo no the first time! Its obviously very outing if my family were to read it so never felt annoyed enough to post before 🙈

RedHelenB Mon 25-Mar-19 10:25:08

Maybe your nephew was right and your mum should have gone to make it up with your mum?

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