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To feel guilty about quitting now

(13 Posts)
LaCitrouille Sun 24-Mar-19 19:34:19

I work in an academy and I have just given my resignation on Friday afternoon. I teach a shortage subject and I know for sure that they will struggle to find someone for next year. We've always been told to give a few months notice but I really CAN'T do it anymore. The job that I love is no longer bearable. My marriage was about to finish last year. I feel awful for saying that but I look after other people's children and provide them with the perfect support and knowledge, but I don't do that with my own two DDs. Because I'm always stressed, shattered and under pressure. Why would I do this to myself and to my family? They definitely deserve better.

I love my students but I no longer feel enthusiastic to see them. I hate my school. It's all about proving everything and anything. The kids are constantly given stupidly high targets. No one gives a monkey about my wellbeing. It's a competitive school with fantastic achievements, the best regionally, but with miserable staff. They made me do a lot of stupid tasks throughout the years. All in the name of "we want the best for these kids". The reality is they don't! They want fancy data and a folder full of "we tried this ... we tried that" to show to Ofsted.

I've got some amazing students which I'm really sad to leave, but I also have A LOT of rude brats whom I honestly hate! Yes I said it. I hate them. I've had enough and I'm not ready to give second chances. I've given them all and now I want to work with people who want to work or at least try.

I cry at least 3 times a week in my car after school. I'm feeling crap and I feel trapped because of the finances, mortgage, daughters' private lessons ...etc.

I felt so happy and relieved on Friday but spent this weekend feeling guilty about leaving the school in this hard time ( 1 member of staff left in Christmas and no HOD). My colleagues are jealous and I've had a lot of good luck hugs but I'm not able to enjoy it.

Ohjustboreoff Sun 24-Mar-19 19:38:24

You need to do what's best for you, no one else will. I know what it is like working in a job that just see you as a number and am given no thanks even if I bust my ass. At least in my case I love my job.
Do you know or have an idea what you will be doing next?

LimaLemur Sun 24-Mar-19 19:42:22

Please don’t feel guilty OP flowersflowers

I was in a similar position to you a couple of years ago when I stopped my teacher training course (also in an academy) after dealing with very similar circumstances to the ones you describe here. Although I was only doing teacher training, I also felt guilty and also panicked, as I had no idea what I could do next.

Would you be able to work as a tutor (for example) whilst you plan what to do next? As you’re teaching a shortage subject, you’ll certainly be in demand, and you could offer individual and group lessons, both online and face-to-face.

FuckertyBoo Sun 24-Mar-19 19:44:50

Yanbu. My lovely friend who is a teacher is planning to quit at the end of this school year too.

LaurieMarlow Sun 24-Mar-19 19:47:56

Don’t feel guilty OP. You are doing the right thing.

The system is fucked and has let you down. Not the other way around.

AnyFarrahFowler Sun 24-Mar-19 19:54:11

I’m genuinely scared about what is happening to our education system. We are losing talented, hard-working, inspiring teachers because the system is fucked.
OP don’t feel guilty, enjoy your freedom!

RobertSmithdoesmyhair Sun 24-Mar-19 19:54:48

I quit at Christmas and am so much happier. I'm doing supply and working 4-5 days each week. I leave the house at 8am and I am home with the kids by 4pm every day and have my evenings and weekends with my family.
I'm not sure that supply is a long term solution for me but it is perfect for now! Get yourself signed up with an agency asap! smile

olivo Sun 24-Mar-19 19:55:49

No, please do not feel guilty. I left one year ago, not a high achieving school but in a similar position where I was very unhappy and knew I would leave a gap. No one really cared, we can all be replaced at some stage, hard as it is to think about it. The positive affect on my mental health has been worth more than anything, and although I think of my old kids often, I know I have made the right decision for my own and life is good again. No work tears in two terms!

Good luck ,stick by your decision.

LaCitrouille Sun 24-Mar-19 20:25:50

Thanks everyone for your support

Ohjustboreoff I have no idea what to do next. I went into teaching straight from Uni so I didn't experience other professions. I would love to do something else. My husband is suggesting that I go for a different degree but I think I need a break for a while. I feel that I need to recover from this toxic job that I did for 9 years! It might seem harsh but it has destroyed me and taught me nothing but being the last thing anyone would consider.

LimaLemur my subject is certainly in demand and I've had a lot of requests to tutor, but I always refused because either I'm marking or planning or doing any other shit that is requested by SLT. I also don't want to work while my daughters are home in the evenings or weekends. I didn't give them enough attention and care and I feel unbelievably guilty about it. I'm now trying to make up for all the wasted time I was writing feedback for other people's children and leaving my own!

FuckertyBoo Another colleague is also leaving after me, as she wants to stay until the last day of the next half term, so she pisses them off even more!

LaurieMarlow it's true and I'm sick of the way academies treat teachers.

AnyFarrahFowler I've been an outstanding teacher consistently for 9 years. I'm still treated like shit and if a student lied about an issue, he would be believed over me without questioning. I've had an incident last year like that, and it took the school 7 months to find out that the student was lying. It was hell!

RobertSmithdoesmyhair I might well get into supply. I just keep hearing that the behaviour is awful as the children know that you're not their real teacher. How's your experience in this regard please?

olivo oh lucky you!

youarenotkiddingme Sun 24-Mar-19 20:49:09

I dont blame you for walking.

My son attended an academy school for most of year 7. It was hell. SLT could give Theresa May a run for her money!

Most of his teachers were lovely but they weren't allowed to talk to me and it all had to go through the nasty senco. Why? Because they'd have given him the support he needed. She denied he needed any.

They also covered up my ds being the victim of common assault with a weapon in class despite them reporting it to me in the first place 🤦🏼‍♀️

Best moment for me was 4 months after he left the judge in sendist tribunal (refusal to assess) basically wouldn't fall for her bullshit, wouldn't let her play politician and wanted facts and then basically told her she didn't have qualifications to question professionals.

It was a toxic environment. The teachers were soooooooo obviously controlled and versed in what they could and couldn't say. Parents evening they talked to parents but looked terrified if they were asked a question.

Best of luck for your future endeavours thanks

Hk17 Sun 24-Mar-19 20:56:12

Good luck OP and look after yourself and your family. Xx

Mammajay Sun 24-Mar-19 20:59:03

You have done your time on the front line. You will find something less stressful that will use your skills.

Dakiara Sun 24-Mar-19 21:25:06

Don't feel bad for quitting. Feel good that you have listened to your needs and know that if you can do all that for nine years you really can do anything you want. x

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