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NDN, in hospital and cat

(30 Posts)
AnotherNightCooking Thu 21-Mar-19 22:25:34

At the beginning of this week I was working from home & heard a piercing scream.
I ran outside & found my NDN slumped in her doorway. She lives on her own & is in her 60s. She had tripped & thought she’d broken both wrists.
We have only moved in recently.
She was in agony & freezing cold. She begged me to get another neighbour to ‘drag’ her into a more comfortable position which I did.
I called an ambulance & went with her to the hospital.
9 hours later my partner picked me up. I was/am more than happy to do this for her. At the hospital I held gas & air whilst her breaks were cast. She will be in for 6 weeks due to living on her own.
Fast forward 4 days , we have phoned the ward , her phone & left messages etc but heard nothing which in cast we understand.
However I went into our corner shop only to be shown a pic of neighbour in traction.
The neighbour who originally helped me pull into the warm offered to help with her cat.
We thought we could all do 3 days each in rotation.
I let NDN know this tonight & she had a right go at me.
I’m away for 2 nights , do I let her 18yo cat fend fir herself.
I thought she’d be delighted people were rallying around her.
Now I’m just pissed off

MontStMichel Fri 22-Mar-19 10:14:07

Having just broken my leg, I can imagine she is in a lot of pain, depressed at the thought of 6 weeks in hospital (and that is if the bones heal well; they might not) and maybe physio; and drowsy with the painkillers! I am finding it hard to think or concentrate much! Take it with a pinch of salt!

TwelveThirtyTwo Fri 22-Mar-19 10:13:18

Do you mean she only wants you to go in and no one else?
If so bollocks to that. Organise a rota like you said and just get on with it.

peridito Fri 22-Mar-19 10:04:38

I'm confused at who had a go at the OP .

If it's the injured neighbour in hospital I would second what's already been mentioned - if on opiods then she might be not herself .My mother was completely bonkers - paranoid she was being filmed and they were all against her.

Or she could have urinary infection - 9 hours getting treated ,broken wrists ,can't get to loo in hospital ,.....could be completely out of character .

AlexaAmbidextra Fri 22-Mar-19 09:53:15

So she is angry that you won't be feeding her cat this weekend? If so, that is unfortunate for her.

Well no, it’s unfortunate for the poor bloody cat. Please arrange for another neighbour to feed it, never mind whether it’s owner approves. Don’t let it starve.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Fri 22-Mar-19 09:42:33

Ask her what she would like to do about the cat. Present her with some possible options. She could invest in a Cat Mate automatic feeder that will deliver a meal a day for up to five days.

Can she really not go home, with a temporary care package? She must be very miserable and anxious. There will be all sorts of stuff from home she needs. She's going to need someone she trusts to collect it for her, perhaps that person could discreetly coordinate helpers.

I'm sure she wants to be grateful but is really stressed about strangers in her home. Tell her that atm you only go as far as the kitchen to put down food, change litter then leave. Ask her if that is enough company for the cat and would she like you to do more?

You are being very kind, don't be too upset by her reaction.

TinselAndKnickers Fri 22-Mar-19 01:08:49

What was the picture of? Or am I just thick blush

bitheby Fri 22-Mar-19 00:56:44

I'm very confused by the OP. As you've only recently moved in is she considering that you are a stranger? (Which technically you are, albeit one who gave up a considerable amount of time to help her).

She doesn't owe you friendship. If she'd prefer the other neighbour to help her as she knows them better then you'll have to respect that.

coddersrodders Fri 22-Mar-19 00:16:06

What did the lady in the corner shop show you a picture of?

IAmNotAWitch Thu 21-Mar-19 23:40:53

So she is angry that you won't be feeding her cat this weekend?

If so, that is unfortunate for her. You have been very kind but are unavailable, you have gone above and beyond by sorting out a replacement for her. If she doesn't like it she will have to sort out something herself.

If you are worried that this will not happen then I would suggest putting down extra food and water for the cat before you go away.

Gingerkittykat Thu 21-Mar-19 23:36:52

Tell her you can't feed the cat this weekend, so her options are either to allow the neighbour to do it or send to a cattery. Look up cost, including collecting cat, for cattery and let her know.

I have left my cats for 2 nights before with copious amounts of dry food and water. It won't work if the cat needs wet food though.

Tavannach Thu 21-Mar-19 23:30:58

She's being massively silly. The cat needs feeding, people are feeding it. It's in its own home so less stress for the cat, which may well have failing sight and hearing. Smile and nod, OP. Maybe she has history with the other neighbour but that's not your problem.

FlashingLights101 Thu 21-Mar-19 23:28:09

Are you cross because she contacted the lady at the corner shop and not you lot who have helped her? Maybe she didn't have your numbers but someone was able to get the number for the corner shop?

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 21-Mar-19 23:23:59

But how she had a go at you if you haven’t spoken to her?

CheekyChappy710 Thu 21-Mar-19 23:08:03

YABU go away as planned let the neughvours chip in, she doesn't need to know.youve done way more than enough shes either not thinking straight or is a complete twat.

AnotherNightCooking Thu 21-Mar-19 23:05:43

The lady in the corner shop showed me a picture despite having not heard anything from the injured neighbour for 4 days.
Not that she needs to check in but we are looking after her house etc , went to
hospital but hadn’t heard anything.
My AIBU is I have to go away this weekend, her cat is 18 & needs feeding 2x a day.
Neighbours have offered to help but she had a go at us. We thought she’d be delighted that everyone rallied around & cared & now we feel guilty

MyDcAreMarvel Thu 21-Mar-19 22:47:43

I am really confused why were you shown a picture? Have you started omen to injured neighbour?
Who had a go at you and why?

Sewrainbow Thu 21-Mar-19 22:42:00

Does she want you or the neighbour to feed the cat it isn't quite clear?

Yes she's being ungrateful but she's vulnerable, probably on drugs and maybe a bit proud. I'd hate someone I don't know in my house especially if it had been left in a hurry like she did. My neighbours feed the cat when we're away but only in the porch, not in the house.

FlashingLights101 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:37:30

Oh, and get the other neighbour to do the weekend you can't do.

Horehound Thu 21-Mar-19 22:37:03

No good deed goes unpunished

FlashingLights101 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:36:37

Maybe she's embarrassed about her house? Or she's just very private and doesn't like the idea of others being in there? I'd just feed the cat and make sure you don't longer, so you can reassure her you literally popped in.

AJPTaylor Thu 21-Mar-19 22:36:11

I would do exactly as intended and get the other neighbour to help.

Grace212 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:34:29

oh cross post
she's annoyed that you won't be able to help out 100% of the time?

that's definitely unreasonable. And quite weird.

Grace212 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:33:40

you are a fab neighbour

second half of your post is confusing to me...what's the issue exactly?

is it possible that with shock and pain, she is confused and not meaning what she says?

doodlejump1980 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:33:18

Do you think she blames you for moving her?

AnotherNightCooking Thu 21-Mar-19 22:32:52

She had a go because the other neighbours offered the help feed the cat but she didn’t want strangers in her house.
The same neighbour that got her off her doorstep & I’ve only been in her house once.
I have no problem feeding her cat etc but being away this weekend what choice to I have ?
I thought she’d be delighted everyone was rallying around her

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