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AIBU?

AIBU about Christening?

27 replies

GoosetheCat · 21/03/2019 14:58

Hi all!
Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable. We are having DS Christened in the summer. My DP isn't particularly fussed about having DS Christened, but because it is important to me he is happy for him to be so.

I have quite a big family, as does he, but he's not as close to his family like I am to mine. So, when discussing God Parents I chose 3 people who are very important to me. However, 2 are members of my family and 1 is my best friend. I asked DP if there was anyone he wanted as God Parents because I felt I was choosing everything. He said actually there were 2 people he wanted, and again they were members of my family. I agreed, and we decided to have 5 God Parents.

Now we have just had nothing but criticism and complaints, either for who we've chosen (all my family members and best friend) and how many I have (omg, 5 really?! Is that necessary? Sounds like overkill to me).

AIBU to say actually, it's our son and his special day, so we can 1. choose who we like and 2. have as many God Parents as we like. It's all just so infuriating when all we want is a lovely day for our son!

OP posts:

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SofaSurfer20 · 21/03/2019 15:00

Tell them to STFU and back off

Ginger1982 · 21/03/2019 15:01

It's totally up to you who you pick and how many. I do think 5 is quite a lot, my son has 1 godmother!

NWQM · 21/03/2019 15:02

If the Church doesn't set any rules about Godparents then there aren't any so..yes, tell people to back off.

AureliaJane · 21/03/2019 15:04

If I’m honest I think 5 is a lot and quite surprising, but I would never be so rude as to tell you that and I recognise that it’s your choice!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 21/03/2019 15:07

TBH I never quite understand how this is a massive discussion with wider family beforehand. Dont people just turn up on the day and ooh and ahh ?

CandyflossKing · 21/03/2019 15:35

YANBU. Up to you who you choose! DC1 has four godparents and DC2 has five. Not unusual in the slightest.

thecatsthecats · 21/03/2019 15:51

PlainSpeaking

Agreed. This doesn't need to be a big discussion.

I do slightly roll my eyes at the irony of 'it's his special day' followed by two things your son has zero choice in though!

He doesn't care how many Godparents he has. So you are getting worked up on his behalf about something he doesn't care about. The zenith of wasted emotion.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 21/03/2019 16:05

Obviously your choice who is godparent but 5 is a lot and its very insulting to his family not to pick even 1 of them.

NeutralJanet · 21/03/2019 16:08

I'd be a bit taken aback by 5 godparents. I've never seen a child have more than 2 and I'm from a big Catholic family so have attended many baptisms.

GoosetheCat · 21/03/2019 16:12

thecatsthecats It wasn't a 'big discussion' with family, just my DP and I. We didn't discuss it with family, just when asked about the upcoming day. Also, I am not getting worked up on his behalf, I am getting worked up because I'm sick of getting criticized for the choices we have made.

OP posts:

MountPheasant · 21/03/2019 16:14

Honestly? I would giggle at the absurdity of 5 godparents and raise an eyebrow at them all being your side.

But... what’s it got to do with me? Or anyone? If you are happy with your decision, crack on.

Snappedandfarted2019 · 21/03/2019 16:14

My dh is a god parent he is one of three godfathers and the child has two godmother it was overkill and completely lessen actually been asked to be godparent it’s suppose to be one or two people of the opposite sex so I agree 5 does seem over kill.

Geminijes · 21/03/2019 16:15

Your choice, your decision.
My husband had 6 God parents. All friends of his parents.
Only 1 Godparent kept in touch with him but they did have a wonderful relationship and she become very special to me too. Unfortunately she has passed away.

JudgeRindersMinder · 21/03/2019 16:17

So are all the guests Godparents?😉

peppaaargh · 21/03/2019 16:27

I had 7 with my first 😂

pootyisabadcat · 21/03/2019 16:31

Sorry but I find it rather silly to have more than 2 godparents.

thecatsthecats · 21/03/2019 16:35

Yes, but when people criticise you is the discussion I'm talking about.

'Haha, not this again? It's not a big deal. So, telly last night...'

If you don't like people's opinions ignore or withdraw. They don't have a right to make them for you, you don't have a right for them to be happy with them.

Though if your top objective REALLY is a lovely day for your son, it honestly doesn't matter how many people he has up there, and if one or two extras on top of your five would keep the peace, that is an option you could go for.

(Disclaimer: I am an atheist and would never have a Christening, but if I did, I'd make it a free for all rather than have any sort of hoo hah around it)

HappyDinosaur · 21/03/2019 16:36

I have 6 godparents, never been a problem, it's not like a strict rule or anything!

AguerosAngel · 21/03/2019 16:52

DS has four Godparents, two from my side, two from DH side.

SIL (DH Sis) kicked off because she wasn’t asked to be a Godparent but was given short shrift by DH who told her it was nothing to do with her and we picked who we wanted.

It’s nobodys business but yours OP tell them to sling it!

Babysharkdododont · 21/03/2019 16:55

This sort of scenario does make wonder sometimes about people's reasons for having a child christened. The religious families I know have their children christened or baptised within a few weeks / months of birth usually.
The non religious families wait a year and have these huge productions with many godparents (who often aren't religious themselves).

LittleMissFunTimes · 21/03/2019 16:56

Who is complaining?

You’re NBU to choose who you like you are U to not expect his family to feel a bit miffed when you FIVE God Parents all from your ‘side’. It’s quite a kick in the teeth.

ChoccyBiccyTastic · 21/03/2019 17:00

Mine all have 5- the same 5. Not our fault we have so many brothers and sisters between us! Think we avoided a lot of bad feeling/arguments by not choosing some over others, some not being first choice, etc.

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GoosetheCat · 21/03/2019 17:01

Babysharkdododon't (love the name btw ) DS will be 4 months when Christened. I am religious, my DP isn't, hence why he isn't particularly fussed about having DS Christened.

I did ask DP if he wanted anyone from his side as Godparents, he said no and chose two people from my family l.

OP posts:

RacingTime · 21/03/2019 17:04

I always thought 3 god parents was the norm. For boys (2 male, 1 female), for girls (2 female, 1 male). My family (although it stopped in my generation) have always been very religious and involved in the church, so all the kids (my siblings and cousins) were christened.

ZenNudist · 21/03/2019 17:06

Mine have the same 3. 1 my side (Cof E), 1 dh side (atheist, just there so dh is included) and 1 Catholic (my mum as church required a Catholic god parent)

Suggest you choose two people 1 each side of your family that can give religious guidance if you haven't got somebody on your DHS side then to somebody else on your side so three Max)

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