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AIBU?

To change primary schools for this?

96 replies

Litttlepinkegg · 20/03/2019 06:32

Dd in year one at school 1
she’s had been doing ok, she is friendly with lots of people, school has good reputation.
But class sizes are very big (32 in dd’s Case) and very uneven she is one of 10 girls. Despite ofsted outstanding school is not doing great , results declining. Dd complains that it’s noisy in class and hard to concentrate.
The boys are all quite lively and some strong characters. My dd has had issues with a couple of the boys. This week it’s esculated and in the last 3 days one boy has hurt her over 8 times, grabbing her, trying to punch her face, pinning her down.
She was hysterical when I picked her up from after school club.
Each occasion I’ve had to contact teacher. Yesterday when I called she said she flagged up to head but had forgot to call me.
Dd says she likes it but can be very upset by the time I’m picking her up wanting change class, leave school.
I feel like she’s got a bad year where the teachers are struggling to have any control. Dh thinks this with always be the case as it was the same last year and obviously this is her year until she goes secondary.
Do I bite the bullet now?
I’ve have 2 schools to visit that have said they could fit her in

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Gizlotsmum · 20/03/2019 06:35

Is it a one class year? Have the school indicated what they are doing to protect your daughter? I would ignore the declining results but I couldn't leave my daughter at a school where she is not safe. Look around the other schools and get a feel for them. Talk to parents at them if you can and see how they handle bullying.

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Puddlet · 20/03/2019 06:36

I think you should visit the other schools and see what they're like. I've had to move 2 kids at that age due to house moves and it was a good age to move. There were no problems making new friends.

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Litttlepinkegg · 20/03/2019 06:38

Two classes of 32 with 2/3 boys to girls in each so overall year is very boy heavy.
The two schools I’m looking at have smaller class sizes and are more evenly mixed.

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ThriftyMcThrifty · 20/03/2019 06:41

Yes I’d move her, she’s got a long time left at primary, she’s barely started. It sounds like the other schools are promising - visit, and pick the best. She will soon settle in an make friends.

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Slippersandacuppa · 20/03/2019 06:43

I moved ds for this reason (except there was no physical issue - poor thing). Lots of disruption in a massive class. Group punishments because there just wasn’t time to figure out who had done what. No time for teachers to explain something a different way so he was snapped at for asking for help so he just stopped asking. And so on,

He had tummy aches every morning and couldn’t eat breakfast. We made the decision to move him over the last weekend of the school holidays going into year 5. The difference in him is huge. He eats breakfast, no tummy aches, he comes home and tells me what he’s done. He was very close to his friends so I thought it would take him a while to settle but he hasn’t looked back. I’ve had several comments that he’s like a different child. And he’s enjoying learning again rather than getting through the day.

The previous school was outstanding with 32 in his boy heavy class. Really, really lovely teachers but in an impossible situation :(

Our daughter is also moving at the end of this year for the same reasons.

Good luck.

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Divgirl2 · 20/03/2019 06:44

I'd move her. It sounds like she's getting swallowed up in the chaos.

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namechange1796 · 20/03/2019 06:48

I’d move her - sounds like a no brainier to me but I fully understand that actually going through with it is a tough call. For reference we’ve moved our children due to moving house and very recently our yr8 ds because the relationship between us and his school had broken down (long story but final straw was their reaction to our yr11 ds being victim of an unprovoked nasty assault in school). So, so glad we moved yr8 ds - whilst he wasn’t unhappy at the other school he is sooo much happier at the new one!

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Litttlepinkegg · 20/03/2019 06:48

Interesting slippers that it’s the same situation. Most other parents don’t seem to think it’s an issue but when I went in for book day I could see how much the the teachers and support staff were struggling 22 boys in one class chaos!

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rededucator · 20/03/2019 06:49

Most teachers in my experience cite class size as the biggest influence on behaviour management. The difference between the feel of a class of 26 and 32 is massive. I'd move her if the option is there.

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Crockof · 20/03/2019 06:52

Not all boys are strong and boisterous. I move my quiet and shy boy for similar reasons, my only regret was that I didn't do it sooner. I agree small classes are important

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SavoyCabbage · 20/03/2019 06:53

Yes move her. I'm a supply teacher so in different schools all of the time. You do get classes where there is a lot of physical misbehaviour.

Often just a few dc causing it and the other dc become almost immune to it. Then as someone coming in, me, it can be quite shocking, especially as I will have been in another school the day before.

Go and look round and then make the decision yourself, quickly and concisely without involving your dd. Take charge of the decision so she doesn't feel worried about it.

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UnspiritualHome · 20/03/2019 06:56

I'd agree with moving her. However, unless you are pulling her out immediately I'd suggest an urgent email to the head flagging up what is really a major safeguarding issue given what has happened to your child. For the sake of other parents, I'd also suggest alerting Ofsted - it's ridiculous how long they leave supposedly outstanding schools before reinspecting.

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BigFatGiant · 20/03/2019 06:57

32 to a class is ridiculous. Will the class sizes reduce as they get older or is this it? I would definitely opt for a school with a better teacher:student ratio if you have one that can fit her in. Ofstead reports are pretty meaningless when you have 32 five year olds cramed into a room and only 1/2 adults to control them.

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Helspopje · 20/03/2019 06:59

Gosh - sounds like us!
You aren’t in SE London are you at a small church school?
I have a v quiet boy in a highly boy skewed y1 class and thinking of moving him as he is getting repeatedly squashed

My mum who was a former infant headmistress and Ed psych agreed that it isn’t ideal to have such a ‘lively’ class as my son’s and suggested I suggest they do 2 composite classes with a better gender/personality balance as that’s what she would’ve done if it were her school. School wasn’t interested as they said the parents would complain if their older aged group child was put into composite with a lower age group. I’m from a rural location where composite classes are commonplace- totally unfounded concern and, done well with good differentiated teaching by ability rather than year group, composite classes can really bring children on both academically and socially/behaviourally.

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Slippersandacuppa · 20/03/2019 07:00

Yes, it sounds like a very similar situation. He was just lost in the middle of it all. But he didn’t have the added stress of bullying. He genuinely loved all of his friends there. He’s out of the house for an extra 2.5 hours now but doesn’t seem to care.

My youngest’s class is the same. 32 in reception.

I don’t think DH believed me until he helped out on our daughter’s school trip and said it was ridiculous (and her teacher is fab). She couldn’t talk to all of the children at the same time and basically had to march them quickly around somewhere. I’m not sure they understood what they were supposed to be doing. I think he was shocked at seeing that many children together. But we’ve been lucky that our classes don’t seem to have had the levels of disruption of some - there has been violence towards teachers, pinning down of other children etc.

Learning should be fun - the government has some serious changes to make...

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Sleepsoon7 · 20/03/2019 07:15

Check out the other schools. If you like them move your child now (or arrange for after Easter hols if you think the situation is not urgent). Moving them ASAP allows time to settle in and make a few friends they can see over Easter to build up friendships. In the meantime email your current School head with your concerns / what has happened and cc the School Safeguarding officer (usually a teacher or TA where we are). Put it all in writing to the School. Good luck but trust your feelings on this one.

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brizzlemint · 20/03/2019 07:15

I'd move her - the issue isn't the 22 boys (who can behave) but the behaviour management skills of the teacher. Hard classes can, and do, behave and you don't want your DD suffering while the teacher improves their skill set.

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Oblomov19 · 20/03/2019 07:19

32 is the norm in most Surrey schools! If the teacher can't control the class, then there are major problems, across the school and clearly leadership problems.

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Litttlepinkegg · 20/03/2019 07:26

We’ve been without a head for 18 months one starting in sept now

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ALannisterInDebt · 20/03/2019 07:28

Yes, I'd move her without hesitation.

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Litttlepinkegg · 20/03/2019 07:30

Thank you all arranging visits ASAP.
I am hesitant I think because we worked really hard to afford to move into the very small catchment for this school and it’s still held up locally as best in the area. But it hasn’t been inspected since 2011 and results have massively dropped.
Big decision

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Pallando · 20/03/2019 07:34

Yes move. And if you are not happy with the schools response with regards to safeguarding your daughter you can raise a concern with Ofsted (you are supposed to escalate to the governors first, but I would be tempted to miss this step).

One of the issues with "Outstanding" schools is that they are exempt from regular inspection, which means they will only inspect if results fall or if concerns are raised to them.

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Slippersandacuppa · 20/03/2019 07:38

Same as us. Moved here for the school, which is widely regarded as excellent. Hasn’t had ofsted inspection since 2005.

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HidingFromDD · 20/03/2019 07:44

I'd move her. DD2 was in a similar situation, 12 girls and 50 boys, so classes were more lively. In our situation, it actually wasn't the boys who were the issue, generally lively but lovely. The girls, however, had a 'queen bee and wannabees' with one queen bee in each class. They basically circled around the rest of the girls deciding who would be ostracised that day (obviously it took a while to work out exactly what was going on). With such a small number of girls in each class there were no other friendship groups to join. We left it until Y4 to move her and I really wish we'd just done it as soon as we'd noticed any issues (outstanding school, huge competition for places and DD1 was perfectly happy there)

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Happygolucky009 · 20/03/2019 07:44

Please move her, dc class was 32 mostly boys. Change of leadership after y1. We stayed as we really liked the secondary school it linked to.

But we didn't know how bad it was as eldest normalised it and learnt to adapt, bits came out more than 2 years later by whuch time 2nd child was settled in the school. The head has been largely ineffective, the staff turnover has been high, Ofsted rating was outstanding now requires improvement, the school have rejected the findings of the poor Ofsted report (I think Ofsted were very insightful!). Behavior is now on the floor, but most of the boys have now left, class size is 22 but this includes 2 sen and 2 with significant behavioral issues when together and now to add insult to injury we are unlikely to get a school place in the secondary, based upon this years allocations.

If you are having doubts follow your gut instinct!

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