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Not to make my kids put on 'home clothes' after school?

(77 Posts)
youngfarmer Fri 08-Mar-19 20:07:13

I have 3 girls; when they were at primary school there was never any point really because by the time I'd picked them up from childminder/friends house on the way home from work it was pretty much time for dinner and then bath/bedtime, no point in dirtying more clothes.
I guess that these habits have stayed with them though even now the eldest 2 are at high school. They stay in uniform if they're staying in, or maybe just put a hoody on over their shirt&tie if they're going out with friends.
Only occurred to me because I was just watching something on TV where the kids had got in from school and rushed to change, then looked around at my 3 lolling around in their school uniforms still. Anyone else's teens do this or am I just a very bad mother? blush

InDubiousBattle Fri 08-Mar-19 20:10:38

Surely by the time they're teens they just decide for themselves?

HomeMadeMadness Fri 08-Mar-19 20:10:44

Why should they if they don't want to? The only point if changing is to be more comfy or because they don't wNt to be seen out in uniform? If they're happy and have the option to change if they want to it's fine.

HomeMadeMadness Fri 08-Mar-19 20:12:01

My DC are primary by the way and I don't insist they change I don't see the point. Their uniform is comfy and they'll end up spilling their dinner over their clothes anyway so if they choose not to it saves on washing.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 08-Mar-19 20:16:37

In my line of work (can be incredibly stressful/emotionally draining) we are advised and encouraged to change clothes after work, even though it's not a suit and tie kind of job and the clothes I wear to work are not uncomfortable. The theory being it helps you change mindset and let go of the stresses of the day, switch off and find new energy for your evenings. I shower and change when I get home often just into leggings and a top or jumper but it does work. I'd think it would be the same for school children too

mamaduckbone Fri 08-Mar-19 20:18:06

My 13yo ds's favourite after school get up is school shirt and jersey sports shorts - v stylish.

In our house you please yourself - we don't go in for 'you must do this.'
Likewise I might sometimes change out of my work clothes as soon as possible but might keep them on until bedtime,

BuildingBackUp Fri 08-Mar-19 20:19:08

I leave mine or tell them to change depending on the state of them.

If the uniform is clean enough for another wear they take it off as soon as they're in. More often than not though (unless they have a club or we're going somewhere where changing is necessary) they'll wear uniform until they change for bed.

Jengnr Fri 08-Mar-19 20:19:13

I go from work clothes to pjs and so do my kids.

Mummyjsa Fri 08-Mar-19 20:23:56

Pyjamas for mine when they get home from school.

sanityisamyth Fri 08-Mar-19 20:25:43

My 5 year old DS strips off practically before the front door is closed and runs around naked until I tell him for the fifth time to put his PJs on. He loves being naked 😳

DanglyBangly Fri 08-Mar-19 20:26:41

I leave it up to them and they mostly just stay in their uniforms.

thedisorganisedmum Fri 08-Mar-19 20:30:33

we all change when we come home.

My suits are too expensive to be ruined at home.. The kids clothes are not, but I prefer if they wear something they can ruin when playing so by the times they are older they don't even think about changing.

I don't really know any teen who likes to keep their uniform, they seem to want their own clothes as soon as they are out of the door.

elQuintoConyo Fri 08-Mar-19 20:31:48

DS doesn't wear a uniform, but changes when we get home because after school he is usually in the park rolling around on the floor hmm I don't want sand and tiny stones and all sorts of shit on the sofa/floor. So he strips off when he gets home, either to underwear or into pyjamas. It's usually about 6pm by then.

I get information work around 9.30pm and get straight into pyjamas. DH changes into more comfortable clothes at home.

None of it is enforced, just what we prefer. When I was a nipper I couldn't wait to get out of my uniform, primary or secondary. Especially secondary, we wore kilts sad

youngfarmer Fri 08-Mar-19 20:32:18

@danglybangly primary or secondary?

SlangBack Fri 08-Mar-19 20:36:54

Not again

mrsm43s Fri 08-Mar-19 20:41:10

I've never really given it any thought before. My two are secondary age. DS stays in his uniform. DD tends to change into slobbing out clothes- leggings and oversized hoody or similar. Or maybe her PJ's. Up to them, really. They have clean uniform available for the next day if they need it. A primary age I think they both stayed in uniform all evening.

MissCharleyP Fri 08-Mar-19 20:46:39

My dad used to hate it if me and brother were still in our uniforms when he got home (secondary, didn’t have uniform at primary). He hates any kind of formal wear and hated wearing suits and us having uniforms. I was never comfortable in mine anyway and was always a bit 😧 when I saw other people staying in after school. I wear a uniform for work now and always want to get changed into my clothes as soon as I’m home. TBH, if I’m popping into town or the shopping centre straight from work, I’d prefer to bring my own clothes and get changed...but I’m a bit of a lazy cow and CBA for the sake of having to wear it for an extra couple of hours.

Notcontent Fri 08-Mar-19 20:48:52

Different people have different routines. We have always had a “wash your hands, get changed” routine and my dd has stuck to it in secondary school.

DailyMailFail101 Fri 08-Mar-19 20:49:31

I make my reception child change clothes straight from school, I just think he needs to be in comfy clothes and I feel he can relax better and get out of ‘school’ mode. I think teens and older children can decide for themselves.

SlangBack Fri 08-Mar-19 20:50:43


lotusbell Fri 08-Mar-19 20:52:02

DS is 12 and I've always encouraged him to change out of his uniform and fold it up suits fresh for the next day but he wears his uniform all week unless it's really dirty, but I alternate his shirts. He then either gets into pjs, which I hate at 4 in the afternoon, or trackies and a hoodie but he'll wear those every day after school seeing as it's only a few hours.

mejon Fri 08-Mar-19 20:56:42

SlangBack - it was my first thought too hmm

reluctantbrit Fri 08-Mar-19 20:58:55

It depends on the day. Blazer goes off as son as DD is home.

Monday she changes as she has drama classes and prefers something more comfortable. Tuesday not as she has scouts after dinner, no point to change twice. Wednesday she changes as she swims, Thursdays not, Friday she swaps it for dance uniform.

Pjs are for sleeping, no way I would allow her to wear it for hours in the house. I also hate the look in general.

pictish Fri 08-Mar-19 20:59:34

Mine change because I want two days out of the uniform if possible. If it’s already been slittered over, I put it on to wash.

AlbusSeverusMalfoy Fri 08-Mar-19 21:01:32

Unless we are going out or someome comes over, its uniform off pjs on. Im pretty much the same.

Bookworm4 Fri 08-Mar-19 21:01:56

I only really say to my DD13 to get changed because she likes to come in a lie on sofa with the dogs; try to keep uniform hair free; rarely works.

45andahalf Fri 08-Mar-19 21:04:43

We always had Tim change out of our uniform when we got home. My mum reckoned it made it last longer.

45andahalf Fri 08-Mar-19 21:07:35

I never get comments like “pjs are for sleeping in”. What’s the difference between pjs or sweatpants/yoga pants? Provided you don’t actually wear the same ones you slept in during the day.

VelvetPineapple Fri 08-Mar-19 21:07:47

I used to take mine off for A. Comfort. B. Keep it clean to wear again. C. Minimise wear and tear so it lasted longer.

theyellowjumper Fri 08-Mar-19 21:08:55

My dcs have rarely changed after school. I used to suggest changing would be more comfortable but have given up as they've always preferred to stay in uniform, even a tie, unless going out somewhere. DD is in 6th form now with no uniform but she says she liked uniform as she didn't have to think about what she was wearing.

I don't think it matters much as long as they are comfortable, though it's interesting what ZippyBungle says about changing helping you get out of the stressful work/school mindset. I guess that is one reason why school have uniforms, to make students feel more formal and have a more serious attitude to work, so maybe changing could be relaxing for some?

hazeyjane Fri 08-Mar-19 21:08:55


stuckinagut Fri 08-Mar-19 21:11:32

At the moment my 5 year old stays in uniform til bathtime, usually because he's so grubby anyway he'll need fresh uniform the next day or because there isn't much point changing into different clothes for an hr or so after we all get home late.

I wear smart casual to work but I still always like to change when I get home so I'll probably encourage kids to do it when they're older. Just feels better doesn't it - especially on Fridays!

GetOffTheTableMabel Fri 08-Mar-19 21:12:27

Dds are 18 & 13 now and I have always insisted that they change when they get in. Their uniforms are quite expensive so we don’t have that much of it. It can’t be tumbledried and it just isn’t that easy to turn it around if they spill something on it. I’m just too cheap to let them slouch about in it.

RoseMartha Fri 08-Mar-19 21:14:36

We all change when we get in. The kids do not have enough uniform for clean everyday and are messy even at secondary age!

HateIsNotGood Fri 08-Mar-19 21:15:05

Whatever works for you and your dcs is fine. I always changed ds out of any nursery/school clothes straight away and always myself whenever I had work uniform (or clothes covered in work-shit).

But that's me and You is You. Did someone try and say you were a bad parent because of this? They can go do one.

2rachtint Fri 08-Mar-19 21:18:02

I don't make my children change and they rarely do unless it's to put on dressing up clothes. When I was a teenager I never changed if I was staying home but sometimes changed my jumper so I could give my light coloured cat a cuddle without getting her hairs all over me!

GummyGoddess Fri 08-Mar-19 21:20:23

I imagine that I would ask them to change because DH and I both change into 'comfortables' (baggy old trousers) when at home. Easier to lounge around in and less annoying if they get dirty. If they were already a bit grubby and didn't want to change I don't think I would care that much, if they want to be uncomfortable they can crack on.

Bluelonerose Fri 08-Mar-19 21:23:04

At primary school I make them get changed. Means that clothes can be hung up for the next day/washed and dried for the next day as needed.

Secondary I'm not fussed coz they know I won't be washing it if they mess it up (excluding accidents) but both my dc hate being in school uniform anyway and get changed as soon as they get in most days any way.

youngfarmer Fri 08-Mar-19 21:24:59

Nobody's told me I'm a bad mother, it's me judging myself by what others do!

southnownorth Fri 08-Mar-19 21:27:08

Both mine usually put their pyjamas on if they are not leaving the house again.

kateandme Fri 08-Mar-19 21:30:38

im trying to remember what we wasn't a 'rule' as in cruel.i guess it was mostly done that we would change at some point but im wreckoning it was more to get more than one day out of uniform.
but I can remember more often than not slobbing around in uniform the whole time afterschool.
we also played out a lot with our neighbours so I think this had lots to do with needing to change.
we did moan about it though!god we were such gits to my mum.
my brother im looking at you "go and get changed." "nope" go upstairs and get changed".....he went upstairs and stayed there in his uniform haha.mum gave up by him!

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit Fri 08-Mar-19 21:36:19

Hell, no! Mine would just get their supper down a set of home clothes as well as the mud stains down their uniform! The only expensive bit of their uniform is their blazers, so we have enough shirts and trousers for clean every day if needs be. I don’t want dirty home clothes to deal with as well. Life is too short for that amount of laundry!

kateandme Fri 08-Mar-19 21:37:51

youngfarmer this wouldn't ever make you a bad mother luvey.dont be so hard on yourself.and NEVER COMPARE to others you will always find a way to come up short as a mum when comparing to others.

Pinkbells Fri 08-Mar-19 21:49:42

I leave it up to them to choose. At the start of the week I make sure there are always 5 sets of uniform each so always clean each morning whether or not they need it, just bung it all in the wash at the end of the day. Sometimes if they are going out they change into 'own' clothes, but otherwise they keep the uniform on until it's time for shower/bath and pyjamas.

Mari50 Fri 08-Mar-19 21:53:56

I get changed after work and so does my dd(10), I hate wearing work clothes at home and shells a messy moo and I’d prefer she spills stuff down her ‘normal’ clothes than her uniform- despite the fact I have enough uniform for 6 days without washing....

PurplePotatoes Fri 08-Mar-19 21:57:43

I have 5 sets of uniform so only ask DD5 to change straightaway on a Friday so that I can get it all washed straightaway and ironed on Sat.

Upsy1981 Fri 08-Mar-19 22:02:37

In primary, I didn't bother. Now DD is in high school, I do try to encourage her to change as don't want dinner down her blazer or for it to look all crumpled. But it doesn't always happen and I'm not too bothered. DH gets changed as soon as he walks in (suit, shirt, tie). I just stick my dressing gown on over my clothes and put PJs on at some point during the evening. So a bit of everything here.

youngfarmer Fri 08-Mar-19 22:04:55

So I guess it maybe depends on what you did as a child too? Primary I never bothered and then I was at boarding school from 11-18 (not wealthy, just shit family circumstances so it gave me and my siblings stability). We had to keep uniform on until after homework was done and after that I could never be bothered to change so just kept it on.
When my DDs were younger there was no point in sending extra clothes to the CM so they just stayed in scruffy shirts/ties and holey tights until bedtime and had clean on the next day. The eldest 2 get home from high school between 5-5.30 and do homework straight away then they either help make dinner, walk the dog or other jobs, so by the time that's done/eaten/cleared there's not much point. They obviously feel comfortable in it because it looks as smart at 10pm as it does when they put it on for school

happymummy12345 Fri 08-Mar-19 22:09:54

My son is at pre school nursery and wears uniform. I always get him changed when we get home. I will insist he gets changed when he's at school as well. Keep uniform for school.
I always got changed as soon as I got home from school (why would I want to stay in uniform, I hated wearing it as it was).

Boyskeepswinging Fri 08-Mar-19 22:12:25

This didn't end well last time hmm

SlangBack Fri 08-Mar-19 22:14:00

Story searching

cherrryontop Fri 08-Mar-19 22:16:39

Pjs are for sleeping, no way I would allow her to wear it for hours in the house. I also hate the look in general.

Pjs are the best!! Once we are in for the rest of the day we all change to pjs. So comfy!

Boyskeepswinging Fri 08-Mar-19 22:20:35

Place your bets, folks. This Morning or Loose Women tomorrow?

Chocmallows Fri 08-Mar-19 22:24:03

My 12yr old likes comfy clothes, 9yr old likes PJs. I encouraged them to change in foundation year as usually food and sticky marks all over them and years later they still choose to change.

Boyskeepswinging Fri 08-Mar-19 22:24:55

Ah, shit ... It's been a looooong week and it's Friday isn't it? Mind you, there's always This Morning on Sunday I suppose ...

snitzelvoncrumb Fri 08-Mar-19 22:25:14

My kids would love to stay in their uniforms, but I make them change.

SofaSurfer20 Fri 08-Mar-19 22:36:01

I let her chose (6yo) unless we are going out or someone is coming over. Even then she usually wants to get in PJ's when she gets in.

Im the same. Get in from work and grt changed to comfies 🤷‍♀️

Murphypoint Fri 08-Mar-19 22:39:12

Uniform to pjs, trackies or onesies here.

Notso Fri 08-Mar-19 23:01:08

Mine get changed. Washing hands and changing has been the routine since they started half days at nursery so it's second nature now, even DD in college so own clothes still does it.
I have an aversion to school uniform so prefer to see my kids in their own clothes.
My parents both attended schools that would punish pupils for being seen in uniform after school. My Dad was caught buying chips in his uniform so had to wear his hat and blazer all the next day even for swimming, and my Mum was spotted in her uniform at the post office and had to stand on a bin all breaktime the following day.

HateIsNotGood Fri 08-Mar-19 23:39:39

Well, if it's only a matter of you judging yourself then you're being a silly mare. Trust me, someone, somewhere will be judging you for something that you don't even know about.

Maybe you have a squeaky front gate; all your kids have half their heads shaved....or....or?

If it works, ain't broke or you can oil the squeak, you're doing really well.

PickAChew Fri 08-Mar-19 23:42:26

Unless their uniform is super expensive, there's no point.

SweetMarmalade Fri 08-Mar-19 23:43:39

Ds normally strips off completely for an hour long poo hmm then puts his onsie on (if he’s got nothing else planned).

I’m sure now the lighter nights are with us this will change but he will still get changed out of his uniform.

BackforGood Fri 08-Mar-19 23:47:53

SlangBack What is your problem ?? hmm

Lots of questions get asked on here regularly. they are the sorts of things people want to ask and not everybody has been reading every thread on here for the last 3 years. If you are fed up of the question, then why not just ignore the thread ? confused

Mine never got changed after school - I would have to wash their uniform anyway, so why would I give them another set of new clothes which would end up needing washing.
As they got older, they would change obviously if going to cubs or something, but other than that, no.

Hotterthanahotthing Fri 08-Mar-19 23:54:06

I always had my dd.change.If it was Cleanthes it didn't get covered in dog hair and if dirty I could spot clean or put it In the wash.It is habit now so she always changes.
PJ's are for bed or lounging in at breakfast.

flirtygirl Fri 08-Mar-19 23:54:47

We have house clothes, these include pj's or just older jeans or Lounge wear.

I would make them change but they both do when they come in from college or clubs automatically. No school as home ed but I would 100% as school uniform has a smell of school. My niece and nephew you can smell it, it's not a dirty smell, just well institutional.

My mum had the rule no outside clothes sat on a bed. I sometimes find myself doing thatconfused

SweetMarmalade Fri 08-Mar-19 23:57:26

And I always ask Ds to change, if his school trousers are clean enough to go another day he’s not going to lounge around or go out in them, sod that! He can change into his home clothes.

Believability Sat 09-Mar-19 00:07:04

Never occurred to me to get them to change however

My 13yo ds's favourite after school get up is school shirt and jersey sports shorts - v stylish

I do have this and what’s that all about???

SmarmyMrMime Sat 09-Mar-19 00:09:43

DCs are in primary school with a polo/ sweatshirt type uniform, so perfectly comfortable and similar fit to their casual clothes. No point in making them take off worn clothes that need a wash by the end of the day (polos in particular) and getting other clothes dirty for the sake of it. No problem if they do change of their own accord. A few times a week, they end up in sports/ club kit anyway.

At secondary, my blazer lived screwed up in my bag to be worn as little as I could possibly get away with (nasty restrictive, useless garments) and my tie came off soon after getting in. Open collar shirt and skirt were fine though.

Hippee Sat 09-Mar-19 00:14:48

I have enough washing as it is without bringing more outfits into the mix. I already am fighting a losing battle with DS2 and DD to change out of their karate kits for tea after their club. I don't care if it's slobby - my kids don't want to get changed amd I am glad about it!

Mummyshark2019 Sat 09-Mar-19 00:30:24

I have five sets of uniform. My son gets changed out of his uniform as soon as he gets in. Washes hands and face and puts on comfy clothes which tend to be either PJ's or trackies and a sport top. The uniform is washed. He wears clean PJ's to bed after his bath in the evening.

burntdinner Sat 09-Mar-19 03:19:21

When My DP get in he showers and changes out of his work suit to shorts T-shirt and hoody for the evening , it helps him relax and as he's just sitting around usually he can use the same set of evening clothes for a couple of days running that way it doesn't add much to the washing

theyellowjumper Sat 09-Mar-19 11:38:32

I think my standards must be pretty low as mine have never had more than 2 sets of uniform, usually worn for 2-3 days including after school, and they only get clean PJs once a week smile

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou Sat 09-Mar-19 11:46:22

Mine have always removed school trousers / skirt and tie but keep shirt on unless going elsewhere. Reason being that they had a clean shirt for every day but only two pairs of school trousers (DS) and two school skirts (DD) so they lasted a week (usually).

DH changes out of his suit when he comes home and I usually change out of my work clothes too as they aren’t great for lounging around in.

crimsonlake Sat 09-Mar-19 11:56:41

I always made mine get changed, apart from the obvious fact it keeps the uniform cleaner and fresher for the next day.

StoppinBy Sat 09-Mar-19 12:06:36

My DD6 is a grub, I swear she must fill her shoes with sand and roll around in a dirt hole every day lol, for that reason, no she doesn't get changed as the uniform will just be going in the wash anyway.

If by some miracle it is clean the yes I get her to take it off so she doesn't get it dirty playing outside in the yard before the next day.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse Sat 09-Mar-19 12:08:52

Mine get changed depending on the weather, it will either be straight in showers then nightwear if cold, dark and raining. However on nice dry days it’s comfortable clothes to play outside or in the garden.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo Sat 09-Mar-19 12:11:12

I don't bother getting changed after work unless I'm going to gym/for a run. Primary school DS doesn't either. DH always does, which is why so much of the laundry belongs to him!

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