Mole on arm - AIBU to be terrified?

[pinksplutterweasel]

So I’ve had a mole on my arm for at least a decade. If it’s changed over that time it’s been very gradual to the point I couldn’t really tell you whether it’s any different now to how it was, say ten years ago. Anyway last year it got itchy and bled and I took the top off it and being sensible and not one to take chances, I went to the gp. He looked at it through a microscope said it looked ok and gave me cream. It healed and the itching stopped. Job done. I have health ancxiety but try and live by the rule that if the doc says it’s ok then quit worrying. Turn the clock forward a year and on Friday night I was talking to a friend about moles and showed her mine. She said she thought it looked odd and that I should go and see the dr again. So I went yesterday morning and even though it’s not itchy or bleeding or anything, he looked at it, measured it, looked concerned and then decided to refer me to a dermatologist. I’ve made an appointment for Monday. But. NOw I am terrified because having down the worst thing and googled, I don’t think my mole looks particularly like any of the moles on google - but if I had to say it looked like any - it would be some pictures I’ve seen of modular melanoma - the worst kind. And if this is the case (I know I shouldn’t think like this), then I’ve had it for ages!!! And I’m cross because I did the right thing when I first noticed it. The wait until Monday feels like forever and I have my sons birthday to smile through when all I want to do is cry with fear. I know it could be benign too of course but I can’t help this feeling.

[Absofuckinglutely]

I've had 2 moles removed, both looked far scarier than yours and had changed much more rapidly - I'm not qualified to give you any diagnosis, but I wouldn't be freaking out about your one given the history and appearance. Both of mine were benign.
In my experience, dermatology appointments are quick and you may have it removed the same day. Results take up to 6 weeks.
It's good that you've been referred. They will likely remove it, and I'm sure that will be the end of that.
I have health anxiety too and I completely understand your reaction. Try to be kind to yourself and distract yourself from obsessing. Googling is the worst thing you can do - it's all horror stories and doesn't reflect that most people's moles end up being benign. Those people don't end up on the internet as they are busy getting on with their lives.
Good luck xx

[pinksplutterweasel]

Thank you. I know everything you say it totally logical and it’s what I’d be telling someone else. I just can’t seem to get it into my own head. I’ve got this thing about missed diagnosis - my friend has terminal bowel cancer because drs didn’t take her seriously until her bowel ruptured. My grandmother was fobbed off with reflux and gavsicon for ages. She was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer last May. She died in November. This obviously doesn’t help the way I feel.