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AIBU?

Annoying SIL

72 replies

Kinaslina86 · 01/03/2019 16:38

Here it goes. Sorry it may be a long one

When my SIL found out i was pregnant (we have told everyone when i was 3 months) she wasn't happy as she thought she would be the first one to have a baby. She is younger than me by 7 years and she is with her former boyfriend around a year my partner and i are together for 4 years. We weren't really trying but thought if it happens then it happens.
The whole course of pregnancy not even once she asked how was i feeling or was i alright. Her BF asked few times and made an effort but she just ignored me most of the time and didn't bother with me. We all live together with PIL, BIL, SIL and her BF as its a big house.
I gave birth to a DS and he is 6 months old now and she thinks she has a right to him. The first picture ever of DS she posted online without asking me or my partner. I think as a parents we have a right to do it first if we wish to she did not ask if we mind or anything i was absolutely fuming!!!!
Shes one of them that "knows everything" about babies and how to care for them despite the fact she hasn’t got any and looking after someone else’s kids isn’t the same.
She calls him "my boy" "how is my boy?" or "where is my boy?" when she knows exactly we call him that and it really annoy me and i have told her that he is my boy not hers but she keeps calling him like that just out of spite.
When she has friends round she demands brining him for them to see him even tho we do not know them. She doesn't ask she actually demands and send text after text saying "Bring him so ZZX can see him" so we just ignore her but i have told my DP to sort her out as her behaviour frustrates me.
My DP works away so he only sees LO over the weekends and Friday if he manages to finish early. So Saturday and Sunday i would like to have a family time with LO na DP buuuut nooo Saturday morning or Sunday morning she comes to our room wanting to see DS.
She is an auntie and not a mother to my LO. When she holds him i feel like i cant get him back from her because she makes it just awkward and she passes him to everyone like a bloody parcel.
Its my first baby i know i may be overprotective but AIBU?

I understand she may be excited and whatever but to have a relationship with LO she has to have relationship with me and her DB but we just don’t get on because she is spiteful, two faced and just not a nice person.
Whyy would i let her see him when she did not bother about me when i was pregnant.

Sorry for a long post i think i needed to bent as well as my partner is sick of me complaining about her ahha

OP posts:

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KitKatCHA · 01/03/2019 16:42

Move out. ASAP.

SoftPlant · 01/03/2019 16:42

I think the crux of it is, lots of people wouldn't get on with their SIL if they lived in the same house. You need your own space and boundaries. These probably won't come until you move out.

howwillwedeal · 01/03/2019 16:42

Move out into your own place, enjoy your privacy and being able to close your front door and open it only when you want.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/03/2019 16:45

Put a lock on your door, for one thing. Move out for another.

Starch · 01/03/2019 16:45

Living with someone you can’t stand, especially when your own partner is there so little, is probably not conducive to a happy, settled home life tbh. Time to move out I would have thought

SnuggyBuggy · 01/03/2019 16:49

Even in a big house most people would find this suffocating. I would look at your options for moving out.

BlueMerchant · 01/03/2019 16:49

Agree you need your own family home- move asap.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/03/2019 16:50

Why on earth are you all living together?

HollowTalk · 01/03/2019 16:52

She won't change. I would find somewhere else to live.

Holidayshopping · 01/03/2019 16:55

Why are you all living together? Ypur living situation is unusual and would annoy most people.

Move out.

LL83 · 01/03/2019 16:56

You are both being spiteful. She was unreasonable to ignore you in pregnancy. She is not unreasonable to be interested in nephew and want to see him.

Family time alone while you live with 2 other couples is very unlikely.

IvanaPee · 01/03/2019 16:58

My god, your poor PIL. You all need to grow up and move out.

FizzyGreenWater · 01/03/2019 16:59

MOVE OUT!

And let her know that if she doesn't stop her nonsense, once you are out, she will not be welcome at yours.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/03/2019 17:11

I’d love to hear SILs side of this story

SnuggyBuggy · 01/03/2019 17:14

It could be a case of people who are nice individuals but should not live together

Kinaslina86 · 01/03/2019 17:28

I know thats what i thought. We probably would get on better if not living together. But we do get on with his DB just not her. I did say to DP that we should move out as i feel suffocated in this situation (even tho is a big house and we have our own space) but because we live on a farm far away from traffic with loads of place for LO to play and run when he is older. We don't have any neighbours just peace and quiet with 5 sheep, loads of chickens, ducks and 2 geese (they are pets not food) so thats why we are still in this position as we are thinking of little man when he is a bit older.

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 01/03/2019 17:31

But you do have neighbours. And you all live in the same house.

Kinaslina86 · 01/03/2019 17:31

I have lock on my door as she was coming when i was out and taking my things!! But i would just feel rude locking myself in and ignoring when she is knocking.

I understand she wants to see him and i allow it with all means but when i have told her he is my boy she is calling him her boy on purpose. Why would you do that?

OP posts:

NotStayingIn · 01/03/2019 17:34

YANBU but I do think you’re being really stupid. The living arrangements aren’t working and clearly haven’t worked in ages. Yet you aren’t changing them. I’m sure you’ll come up with a million reasons as to why they can’t change. But they have to, or you’ll ruin your relationship with SiL and possibly your husband. If you want to be happy then make that happen.

IvanaPee · 01/03/2019 17:35

Yeah but it’s not your house or farm!

Was it with all these entitled posters thinking their parents owe them a place to live forever?!

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 01/03/2019 17:36

Would it be possible to build a separate small house on the land? Would his parents allow that? At least then you could keep the front door locked.

WilsonandNoodles · 01/03/2019 17:40

If you like the country get a house in the country. It will be lovely to visit them all so your DS can play the relatives and animal but even nicer to then go home to your own space. Its nice she wants to spend time with him but you are growing to hate her and it will only get worse.

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Esspee · 01/03/2019 17:43

I am assuming there is a cultural reason for the extended family living together.
Would you and your husband consider having a place of your own or is that our of the question?

Holidayshopping · 01/03/2019 17:48

because we live on a farm far away from traffic with loads of place for LO to play and run when he is older.

Are you planning to live there indefinitely so your child has a nice garden?!

Grow up and get your own house.

Ghanagirl · 01/03/2019 17:51

Sounds like an awful set up.
Don’t you have any friends or family that you can spend time with when DH is away?

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