Wanting the Mothercare FB group closed — AIBU?

[PumpkinSpiced]

Mothercare began a ‘2am Club’ Facebook group a few years ago in the spirit that parents could have a place to come together and share experiences, advice, etc.

Sadly, it’s now home to bullying, trolls, abuse and harassment. It’s now detrimental to people’s mental well being, and instead of being somewhere new parents can seek advice they’re usually abused and harassed to the point one woman had the police called on her as someone claimed her son was unsafe.

Mothercare don’t want to moderate it as they would then have to take responsibility for said moderation, and say it’s ‘self moderating’.

AIBU in thinking it needs shutting down, especially as it features the Mothercare logo/branding so heavily? It’s just drawing more people in with the promise of a safe place, when actually its out of control.

[Dulra]

Never heard of this group and very surprised that mothercare don't mind having their name associated with it if it's as bad as you say. That said it's a facebook group people can leave 🤔

[Tomtontom]

There are administrators on the page, that you can report anything that breaks the rules to.

I can't think of any site that doesn't have elements of bullying and trolls, including MN. As adults we can self moderate and remove ourselves from potentially damaging spaces/ sites/ pages etc.

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

[Stormtrooper1986]

It’s awful! People spouting that formula is poison etc etc! Full of bullies!

[TitsAndTomatoes]

Im part of a group on FB like this. A closed group for mums who were expecting babies in a certain month of a certain year.
Oh it was all lovely and jolly as pregnancies progressed. Then the births were all wonderful, some had awful experiences, some very critical, some had happy births but everyone was there for each other.
Cue the time the babies turned about 5 months old...bullying, lynch mobbing, major judging of parenting decisions, calling out parents for not following sids/car seat/other safety recommendations to the exact letter, taking the piss out of recipe ideas, taking the mickey out of 'dumb' questions from anxiety and PND ridden new mums...it is a fucking joke.

The thing ive yet to understand is why; WHY the fuck does anyone care enough about strangers im a fuckin FB group theyll never meet. Its a joke. I still just scroll past anything i dont wanna read or that goes against my parenting. I wouldnt even care to add my 2 pence, or tell someone they are doing something horribly wrong. Id happily shate advice that may help but i wouldnt dream of actively being a bitch ot superior or 'calling out' someone on their behavior....its a fucking fb group!

[TitsAndTomatoes]

Share** not shate (wtf?)

[Offendedmummy]

Wtaf!! How horrendous! These groups are so counterproductive, and can be so damaging. I remember when I was a FTM I asked a question on a mummy’s page on FB and I got slated by the admins husband. It wasn’t even just one comment, he just kept coming at me incessantly, despite me not saying a word. It was awful, it was an innocent question about bedtime routines and how to get started. I felt like such a failure! Anyway turns out that the aforementioned admin left him about a year later due to horrendous domestic abuse. So he was just a bully of the worst kind! His actions made sense after that, disgusting man

[Blankiefan]

There may not be anyone of seniority at Mothercare who knows this Facebook group exists. I'd have thought their digital team would be all over that. A brand like Mothercare will manage their online presence. This sounds to me like a project that was set up and abandoned. It's remarkably easy for this to happen in some businesses.

I'd tweet them with a link and ask them to review it. Whomever managers their social media will definitely look after Twitter but this may not be on their radar.

[MaggieAndHopey]

"It’s awful! People spouting that formula is poison etc etc! Full of bullies!"

Is that the worst people have said? Because you know, obviously that's both factually bullshit and hurtful, but I've seen worse on here when I was a ff mum of a newborn and I don't remember anyone saying mumsnet should be shut down.

[sunnyandwindy]

Head of PR for mothercare is an admin on there, and Mothercare's Facebook is an admin also.

[LellyMcKelly]

Nobody is required to be on a Facebook group. People surely are aware they can leave whenever they want, don’t they? The group sounds vile, but some people get off on that. I wouldn’t bother hanging around. If people want to waste their lives putting other people down it says more about them than anyone else.

[BlueJava]

Yabu just leave it and don't go back. Ever.

[PumpkinSpiced]

Sorry for the lax replies, we have some teeth coming in here so I have my hands full.

I actually left said group a few weeks ago as I found it incredibly negative. I had been a member since it’s creation and really didn’t want to just quit but I knew at that point I had to. I thought it’d be the end of it but sadly, the things happening in that group are rippling outwards into other groups and it’s really detrimental to some people.

One Mum was reported to the police for posting a photo of her son with a bruise — she did take the time to explain why he had it etc, but someone commented and confirmed she had raised concerns spitefully.

People are called every name under the sun, harassed via messages, told in some circumstances to ignore Doctors advice, berated for choosing to vaccinate or to wean, shamed, abused.. There are absolutely no right answers in there.

While I expect that of some groups, I wouldn’t expect that of a group endorsed by Mothercare who are conducting a ‘raising mothers up’ campaign right now.

[pollyname]

One of my local Mum's facebook groups was like this. There was a group of about 6 Mum's who would jump on, criticise and continually post replies on what they saw as 'great wrongs'. They would get so worked up about forward facing car seats, anyone weaning even a day before 6 months, bottle feeding and various other things. The admin clamped down on what you could post about for a while and they all pretty much immediately left. It's horrid as a new Mum the things people feel they can say to you....

[Sazzle86]

I know this was quite a while ago now, but I’ve only just come across this thread.

I am currently in the process of making a complaint to mother care about this group for the reasons stated above so it’s very interesting that this has potentially been brought to their attention already!!

What I have witnessed in that group over the last couple of weeks has been absolutely disgusting and yesterday was the final straw when I was personally attacked over something I said ... before I knew it, I had numerous women ganging up on me and it reduced me to tears ... I never get upset but the stuff they were saying was just utterly horrible ... it was bullying. I left the group immediately as I didn’t want to get involved in a conversation with a bunch of bullies but I will not let this lie.

I’m quite a strong person and it still upset me so I feel if the wrong person got attacked it could have quite horrific results 😔

[Weezol]

The Daily Mail would love this as a story.

[fiydwi]

@weezol I was just thinking the exact same thing.
Email the daily mail. Shame on Mothercare if they set this up and allowing behaviour like this.

[53rdWay]

What is it they’re saying? What do the group admins say if reported to them? (They should be paying attention of course but sounds like they’re not.) If it’s really vicious/harassing you can report to FB directly?