Bit of an odd one, and not really an AIBU, but I just wondered if anyone else is a bit like this?
I'm mid-30s, married, 3 DCs. Left home to go to uni, had a nice career, met DH, worked until DCs came along. Moved just before kids were born to entirely new area with no family or people we know nearby.
I've always been one of those people that sort of sits on the edge of a group - no real close friends in my day-to-day life (I have two best friends from my younger years who moved abroad with their respective DPs and I speak to when we can work it but that is sporadic).
I'm the type of person who prefers a night in, not a night out, talks quite a lot but probably isn't saying anything very interesting I suppose. I do 'do' stuff - I'm part of a very large local sports group, I sit on the committee for that and my DCs school committee, but in the 5 years I've been here, I've not really made a single actual real-life 'friend'. I've made lots of acquaintances and on the surface it probably looks like I do lots with other people but I think I've finally realised I'm just always going to be a bit of an outsider.
I believe I'm a nice person, but I also believe I'm not high on anyone's list to ask to go for a coffee, or a drink...... DCs friend's parents do ask us for playdates etc, but it's all child-centric really. I see stuff on facebook etc of people all getting together/catching up and I don't think it's ever a case of being excluded - more a case of just not being remembered, if that makes sense.
It's not so much that this 'bothers' me in terms of being irritated, for example - if I'm completely honest I think I'm probably a bit of an introvert and so the no-pressure-to-go-out thing is fine - Weirdly, I even think I'm quite okay with things the way they are - but something about it makes me feel a bit sad inside I guess and I find that unsettling. I think, perhaps, I feel sad that I'm okay with being a bit of a loner?! Is that weird?? Does this even make sense to anyone reading?
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AIBU?
AIBU to just accept I'll never fit in and will never have 'friends'
25 replies
ohwellIguessthatsitthen · 26/02/2019 21:55
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