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Emotions all over, am I being unreasonable?

(11 Posts)
mammy0f0ne Thu 21-Feb-19 21:20:28

Can I ask. If for some reason you fell out with one of your parents say your mum for example and stopped her seeing DS/DD for whatever reason, but Your DP's mum and dad let your mum see DS/DD with out telling you, would you be mad or am I being unreasonable?

IncrediblySadToo Thu 21-Feb-19 21:22:27

Fucking furious and they wouldn’t be seeing DS/DD either.

YOU are the parent, going behind your back is not on.

Emsmomma Thu 21-Feb-19 21:23:02

It would depend what it was over. I have issues with DM but wouldn't stop her from seeing DD. If it was something more severe like a safeguarding issue then obviously yes but it just a general tiff with DM then I wouldn't stop her seeing her.

kitkatsky Thu 21-Feb-19 21:24:09

It would depend on the reason... exP regularly stops exMIL seeing DD so I make up my mind in context of the wider argument. Dsnt benefit DD7 to lose a rship with an adult she's close to, but I wouldn't out her in danger and would want to understand exP's objections fully

mammy0f0ne Thu 21-Feb-19 23:41:57

My mum and I have never had a good relationship, she sent me to live with my dad when I was four, then when I was 14 she stopped seeing me made up at 18 fell out at 19. It's always been me that had to apologise, never her. I just don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now. I feel so betrayed by my OH's mum and dad

Aquamarine1029 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:44:00

Your in-laws are fucking horrible. I would never trust them again.

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 21-Feb-19 23:46:31

Your in laws have betrayed you, and have behaved inappropriately to the extent that they think they have the right to decide who your child can and can’t see. When they have no such right.

I hope they have now lost the right to see their grandchild without your presence.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe Thu 21-Feb-19 23:46:35

You may not be the best person placed to see this, but for me it would depend on whether you're keeping your DC away because it might harm the children in some way to have contact; or whether you're "punishing" by not letting her have contact.

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 21-Feb-19 23:49:18

redhats that’s totally irrelevant. That judgement is not theirs to make.

mammy0f0ne Fri 22-Feb-19 00:17:06

I am probably overreacting but it's really affecting me. I can't sleep at all.
It's giving me heart burn and making me feel sick I literally feel like I'm suffocating I'm that emotional over this😭

AtrociousCircumstance Fri 22-Feb-19 00:21:45

You’re not over-reacting. You cannot trust them now and that must make you feel unsafe.

You can work on stronger boundaries from now on. This is no over reaction, although no doubt you will be told it is - by the people who want to run roughshod over what matters to you. No.

You can build a firmer foundation for yourself and your DC - try to be grey rock about it: calm, rational, sensible. Don’t argue or try to justify how you feel: just don’t let the in laws have time alone with DC.

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