To think this is a normal amount of tired?

[PleaseLetMummySleep]

Hi!

I am early 30s with one child (18 month old). I work part time (4 days, 8.30-4.30). Hubs works full time. We are up at about 6am on weekdays and 6.30-7am on weekends. Our son no longer wakes to feed but probably does wake us up every 2nd night just needing a pat or a cuddle or his dummy.

I often feel exhausted in the evenings, sometimes I struggle to motivate myself to cook a proper meal on weekday evenings and just want to throw something in the oven for our dinner (we eat after the baby is in bed, and usually I prepare our dinner while hubs does bedtime). Quite often after dinner I just want to sit on the sofa and do nothing except watch TV. I have an occasional night out but by midnight I'm falling asleep 😴 so end up home before my (childfree) friends.

Before kids, I'd be out doing activities or hobbies or socialising a couple of weeknights, and chilling the other weekday evenings.

Can I check, is what I describe normal? AIBU to think it's understandable to be this tired? Or would you be concerned by feeling exhausted at 7pm most weeknights?

[Verbena87]

Sounds normal to me (similar wake-up times, 3 days a week at work, 13 month old who still wakes up in search of boob in the night). Am currently lying in bed!

[QueenOfTheSandals]

I feel like this a lot and my youngest is 3. Sounds within range of normality. I know my diet could be better and I could do more exercise and I often wonder if these couple with a positive mind might help me.

[december212]

Sounds normal. One thing I've found which helps is to have one night every few weeks or so where I go to bed at the same time as the baby, then manage a good 12 hours sleep. Kind of resets the batteries. A holiday helps too (no cooking, cleaning, needing to be somewhere for a certain time) but obviously that isn't always practical!

[itsboiledeggsagain]

Normal. I've normally had it after the school run.

The 3pm one just to be clear

[PleaseLetMummySleep]

@itsboiledeggsagain hahaha! I'm glad you clarified as I thought you meant the morning one!

[Namechanger55555]

Don't worry. Perfectly normal in this house!

Hopefully someone will come along soon and tell us when it gets better!

[DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews]

Similar set up and tiredness levels to you.

[zebrarobot]

Definitely normal. I feel my energy levels vary from one day to the next. I work part time, hubby full time. 2 kids age nearly 5 and 15 months who generally sleep all night. I work one full weekend day and then 4 evenings per week from 5-8 so it means i am up from 6.30/7ish, doing school run then errands/baby groups/shopping, home for nap time but while the baby sleeps im doing housework, prepping for dinner. Then time to collect eldest home to do homework then drop them at my mums for an hour before dh collects them while im at work. Then im not getting in til 8.30 and eating dinner and going to bed around 10.30. I find it really hard to switch off in the evening after coming in so late so im always tired most days. Ive found a vitamin b12 supplement helps and iron too.

[Verbena87]

queenofthesandals I don’t think it’s diet/exercise related. We eat really well (DH has a genetic predisposition to bowel cancer so we’re conscious about controlling the risk factors we can control, like eating right) and I run 3 times a week and do Pilates most days. Am still knackered by 7.

[PleaseLetMummySleep]

Glad to hear it sounds normal.

I have a colleague that always asks 'what are you up to tonight? Anything good?' And my reply is always the same - home, baby's dinner time, bath time, make our dinner, prep for the next day (lunches etc)... then do nothing. I might manage to do a load of laundry but that's about it.

[Verbena87]

(Not trying to be a smug bitch, by the way: rather to say there is absolutely sod all point being a smug bitch unless like me you happen to really like running and it’s a treat to go out - being a parent is just tiring.)

[museumum]

Normal IME till the youngest goes to school!!

[PleaseLetMummySleep]

@Verbena87 haha I didn't think you were being a smug bitch. Good on you for fitting in a decent amount of exercise.

I manage 1 hour a week of intensive exercise on the weekends. When on mat leave I walked loads too but now I'm in a desk job I miss that

[Redinthefacegirl]

Normal, sorry!
4 and 2 yr olds here who sleep through. Both DH and I work 28hrs per week but as opposite long days. 4 yr old in nursery 18hrs a week and 2 yr old home full time. So either intense work or lone childcare most of the time. The mid afternoon lull is unimproved by coffee. I often then get a bit of a 2nd wind and shoot myself in the foot by not going to sleep at sensible o'clock. I just love the quiet time too much. Also can no longer sleep past bloody 6:30, even if the kids do.

[HappyGirl86]

Similar situation here and I'm always absolutely shattered too. I wonder what I did before I had my daughter and I had all this energy haha!

[EwItsAHooman]

Sounds normal to me. Four DC and once they're all in bed I'm ready to flop!

What time do you go to bed? I usually end up going at around 11ish but I've found that having one early night a week helps a lot with the tiredness levels, I went to bed at 9pm the other night and felt like Super Woman the next day.

[KindergartenKop]

It's normal. You get no opportunities to sleep in or rest on the weekend. As soon as you get home it's baby baby baby dinner baby. There's no let up!

[babbscrabbs]

It could be normal, but in my case feeling tired and drained was low iron levels and I needed medication. Worth getting checked

[blackteasplease]

Yes sounds normal.

I'm still pretty tired and mine are 10 and 4. Once they've got past toddler years you then find it's your age that saps your energy i think !

[Catspyjamazzzz]

I think years ago before phones/tv entertainment people must have just gone to bed especially in the winter.

I think we falsely stay up because we are entertained.

I would work out what you can have easily and quickly (and nutritious) and go to bed early.

I don’t sleep in anymore - so I have my ‘sleep in’ by going to bed super early instead.

[Verbena87]

I’m an early bedtime person too. Maybe I do need my iron and b12 checked.

[Chickoletta]

Yep, sounds very normal! My kids are older (5 and 8) and I think it is getting a bit easier, but I've also taken on more hours at work so not really feeling the effect. I do feel better if I get off my arse and do an exercise class but it's so hard to get motivated.

Now that the kids are at school, when I have a day off I wander aimlessly round M&S, take dogs for a walk etc and that is as restorative for me as sleep. I think it's about headspace as much as actual rest, for me at least.

[AbsentmindedWoman]

How many hours of sleep are you getting a night, OP?

I very much agree with the person above who says get a very early night regularly. It makes a huge difference.

[oatmilk4breakfast]

Yep often feel same - only just started changing - my son is nearly 4. Two things helped me - going for a run in the mornings (sometimes!) and more sleep!! Early nights all round

[Nogodsnomasters]

I've been wondering the same thing op! I have a 4 year old who co-sleeps with us (ASD) and wakes at least once a night even if only for a few mins, I work full time and I'm perma tired. We get up anything between 6-7am (7am is alarm clock, anything before that it's the kid doing the waking lol) 7 days a week, no lie in's. Once a fortnight or so I will pass out at ds bed time and sleep from 8pm or so right through to 6! Some days the tiredness hits at lunch time on particularly bad days, other times I can make it til around 4pm before I start to dip. I come home around 5.45pm, dh has dinner on already, I play with my son/tidy up for 15-20 mins til dinner is served, we eat, bath, bed and then I vegetate watching crap TV shows and stuffing my face. Hope that helps you feel normal lol as this thread has def helped me feel normal.