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AIBU?

Baby’s dad and social media.

21 replies

Amy530x · 31/08/2018 08:24

So I know social media is a minor thing in life And some people really don’t care much for it but I just wanted some advice on wether this would bother you ladies or not as I’m not sure what to think. My ex and I are still on talking terms for the baby’s sake and I want him to be a part of the baby’s life, however I feel like he is maybe trying to keep the fact he is going to be a parent a secret. He is quite an active person on social media however has never wrote anything about how he is going to be a dad and I just find this odd. I tagged him in the baby’s 20 week scan picture and when people were congratulating him he didn’t acknowledge their comments atall or even put a like at them. Then he never put anything on his page since that. Then We had a bit of a fall out and I blocked him which automatically took the baby’s scan off his social media and then a friend informed me he was back putting things up and answering people again. Would you girls make anything or this or am I just reading into it too much? We are back talking and I haven’t mentioned it but I do feel a bit upset About it

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Report

GoblinSharts · 31/08/2018 08:27

Yabu. He can choose to do what he likes. As long as he is a good dad then what does it matter if it is all over social media?! Don’t fall out over this and don’t tag him in anything else.

GreenandBlueButterfly · 31/08/2018 08:29

It's up to him how much about his life he wants to share with his social media friends. You can't control that.

Jenjenyeahyeah · 31/08/2018 08:31

Were you planning a baby together?....maybe he is still struggling to come to terms with the fact he’s going to be a father. If that’s the case he needs to sort it out in his own head before talking to acquaintances on Facebook about it.
Maybe he’s worried that the baby isn’t born yet and until he/she is born it’s not quite real and that something could happen - has he ever been around a miscarriage or been affected by it.
Maybe he’s struggling with the fact you’re not together, and how certain friends of family members would react to that.
There are any number of reasons why people don’t share all that’s going on in their life in Facebook.
I’d focus more on planning what will happen when the baby arrives - organising when and how much he will see the baby, if his family want contact etc etc.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 31/08/2018 08:34

Nothing good can come of having an ex on your social media, what about when he starts dating, you don't need to see al that
Make a what's up group to share photos of baby with him and his parents
To Keep communication positive only text banal stuff like " on our way see you in 10 mins" face to face for for all the tricker conversations
I only put bear minimum about my pregnancy on Facebook, I.e one line to announce pregnancy at six month, and two lines to acknowledge birth rest is for family what's up. . People over share way too much
Best of luck, have a face to face honest chat with him, that's always the best way to communicate

Neshoma · 31/08/2018 08:44

Maybe he doesn't want a baby. Or he isn't excited by it.

You aren't together so have no say in what he does.

Amy530x · 31/08/2018 08:49

The baby wasn’t planned but he is telling me he is happy and excited and how he has been talking to his friends about it as they also have little boys but was confused as his social media actions seem different which makes me think maybe he is acting unhappy to other people. However I know it’s none of my business what he does on it and it’s not like he needs to share every part of his life hence the reason I haven’t made a big deal of it with him but I just wanted some other women’s opinions on what they would think

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GoEasyOnMe · 31/08/2018 08:54

@Amy530x Congratulations in the baby news-very exciting! It's great to hear you are both on reasonably good terms and hope you're getting support.

I wouldn't read too much into it tbh. I'm also careful about what I post and he may want to control who he tells and how he tells them. I'm not sure why you fell out but would watch what you tag him in going forwards (which sounds like you are). Tagging him on the scan effectively told all his friends, family, work colleagues and any other randoms that he was having a baby...he may not have been ready to tell everyone or thought it was nobody's business but his - this would have upset me if someone tagged me in something that effectively meant everyone knew my personal business.

I really wouldn't worry too much. The main thing is he seems supportive and happy... leave the rest alone.

Good luck x

Amy530x · 31/08/2018 08:57

Thank you :) xx

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SillySallySingsSongs · 31/08/2018 08:59

Maybe he doesn't want to live his life on SM?

My DBIL is active in SM but has very little on there about his gorgeous DC who he loves to bits.

Its personal choice.

Sciurus83 · 31/08/2018 08:59

I'm almost 30 weeks and haven't put anything on social media. It's personal choice, the people I'm closest to know but I just don't want to put it out there like that. It's still early on, you aren't together, let him sort out how he wants to tell people his own way, it doesn't mean he won't be a good Dad. And congratulations on your pregnancy

SoozC · 31/08/2018 09:08

I haven't posted about my pregnancy on social media. It doesn't mean I'm not incredibly excited.

Social media is not an indication of real life.

Neshoma · 31/08/2018 09:15

The baby wasn’t planned

I think that's your answer

KateGrey · 31/08/2018 09:16

I have four kids. You wouldn’t know it given social media as I rarely post about them nor do I post any pictures of them.

Amy530x · 24/03/2019 21:52

X

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CrispsAndChoc · 24/03/2019 21:57

Have you had the baby now Amy?

Amy530x · 24/03/2019 22:28

Hi yes I have had him :)

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CheshireChat · 24/03/2019 23:56

Some people don't like putting photos of children on SM, I'm don't think DP has anything regarding DS since his birth (DS is 4 now btw)

He might have his reservations about being a father, but recognises you're not the best person to talk about it so he's keeping it quiet

CrispsAndChoc · 25/03/2019 07:43

Congratulations! I hope you are doing well! And that all is ok with the baby’s dad.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 25/03/2019 07:55

I post and use my SM a lot but have never put a pregnancy scan etc on there. Purely becuase if something goes wrong you then need to post that and exain to everyone why baby now isn't there and that's awful.

x2boys · 25/03/2019 08:48

Social media gives a very warped view of somones, life people post about their amazing relationship,s when you know they are splitting up etc basically it's just an unrealistic snapshot ,I rarely post about my kids it's just not something I do,just be concerned about he is with the baby and ignore anything else .

GPatz · 25/03/2019 09:18

It might have been worth checking with him first before tagging him into a FB post with a scan - he might have not told close family as yet as some people like to wait to make sure nothing goes wrong. Myself and my husband don't post much about our children, but of course we love them to bits and DH is an amazing father. Don't look too much into it.

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