DD5 had a playdate yesterday with 2 schoolfriends, both of whom she's known since she was 2. The two other girls immediately ran upstairs (into our bedroom where they started jumping on the bed which is a whole other AIBU) leaving DD downstairs still taking her shoes off. I wasn't with them the whole time they were playing so dont know how much they involved her in general but I did hear one of the other girls say that DD never shares her toys (which is not true, at the very least she does at playdates). Then there was a kerfuffle at dinner (we had a picnic) about who got to sit on which chair with which colour plate and ended up with DD being dealt the short straw by her friends, and the explanation that guests get to choose first etc. I can't really remember but thought that maybe the other two chatted more together than with DD, but then it was busy and i was juggling all 3 plus my younger DC so can't really recall.
AIBU to feel a bit sad for DD with this dynamic or is it more par for the course as they learn social interactions in school? She tends to play a lot with these 2 girls, plus 1 other who wasn't there today, but this is the first time I've seen her be a bit more of a "follower" and be bossed around by her friends (especially in her own house, she didn't get to choose games or anything). It's been playing on my mind a bit and I didn't expect to still feel sad today hence posting.
3 is always a crowd I think. They dynamics change a lot but maybe just have 1 friend at a time. Talk to your DD about true friends. A mighty girl- has some great books etc on how to raise strong happy girls.