To suddenly be struggling with a breakup of 2 months ago

[Jellyoctopus]

My parter broke up with me 2 months ago after 3 years together.

At the time, he seemed so torn up and upset about it - crying every evening for a week (we were still living together at the time) and I coped much better than I expected - probably trying to remain strong in front of him.

Now all of a sudden it feels so raw and I’ve shed more tears in the past week than I have in the 2 months previous.

From what I’ve seen, he appears to be having a grand old time now. I moved away from the area we lived together and will be back this weekend on business. I had to message him to check if there was any post for me to collect while I was there (I haven’t seen him since the split) and we exchanged pleasantries back and forth. When we broke up he said he wanted to be able to be friends and meet up for a coffee if I was ever about but he didn’t mention a thing about it in the messages (I think even if he had, I would have made my excuses as I’d imagine I may have had a meltdown) but the fact that he didn’t has upset me further. Does he just not care anymore and does he realise he doesn’t actually need to meet me for coffee as he’s coping just fine without me?

I just feel a bit wounded at the minute :(

[melse2964]

Hi
I was exactly the same when i split with my ex... for the first couple of months i coped really well i actually suprised myself at how well i was getting on & moving forward with my life But all of a sudden this stong feeling came over me out of nowhere and just broke downcudnt stop thinking about him and was missing him so bad. And knowing that he was getting on with his life upset me a little, just when he always used to say ‘i cant live without you’ kept replaying in my mind. So i can understand how your feeling hun, i think its right what they say it take time...

[Jellyoctopus]

Thanks @melse2964 - that’s exactly what it feels like. I hope that time in a healer

[BottleOfJameson]

Break-ups are just awful and you have to have this grieving period you're just having yours a little later than him. Who knows what he's thinking, possibly things are too raw for him to want to see you now, possibly he had his grieving period and is now feeling better and doesn't want to derail it by seeing you again.

[kitkatsky]

I'm so sorry. Breakups are so hard. To me it sounds a little like you might have had hope it'd be temporary at the time, based on how upset he was/ keen to be friends etc and now that time has moved on, you've made life choices and friendship not necessarily forthcoming it's hitting you more that this might be for good? I really hope you're ok though- sounds really tough xx

[Jellyoctopus]

Thanks both.
@kitkat - I never thought of it like that but maybe deep downthat’s what I was thinking..
In any case, it’s crap and I want to engage my strong independent woman who don’t need no man ASAP!