AIBU to be annoyed at MIL?

[Jordan4531]

DH and MIL have a close relationship and she frequently joins us on trips out to places which doesn't bother me in the slightest. She frequently pops round the house to see how we are all doing and treats both DDs the same and me as though I'm her daughter. I love having her around, she's fun and energetic and the girls love her.
Today DH mentioned that we are planning to go to Florida in a few years time when the baby we are having in October is maybe 2 or 3 and she piped up straight away saying how much she'll enjoy going and that she can't wait to take the children to see this and that. It really annoyed me! This will be our first holiday abroad as a family and I don't want her tagging along. She always goes on about the 3 times her and PIL took DH when he was little and it just feels like she is trying to relive those memories by going with us. I don't want out first family holiday as a 5 being as a 6 with my MIL there for it.
I just don't understand why she thinks it's ok to invite herself on this trip we are planning and saving for. I'd gladly take her on one of our camping holidays but she doesn't want to go or to one of our holidays to the lakes district but she says no. That further fuels my belief it is about her wanting to relive hers and DHs time from years ago and it just feels it would ruin it all.
I've told DH she's not coming end of and he agrees but I feel like she might sulk about it and I don't want to upset her. Am I unreasonable not to want her there?

[ghostyslovesheets]

jesus it's 3 years time - calm down!

[Jessikita]

I think it seems a little bit unkind, if you get on and she’ll go along with everything you want to do. She would help out with the kids and stay with the little one whilst you take the elder ones on larger rides?

But ultimately it’s up to you, it’s not wrong of you to want to go alone either.

[PurpleStarInCashmereSky]

YANBU. You are allowed a family holiday with just you.

[Jordan4531]

I know it's three years time but I don't want her planning to tag along for that three years when she's not coming with us. She wouldn't want to do what we would want, she's already started planning about what attractions she would take the children to and what places we would eat and it seems as though she is trying to plan it for us and not with us. I wouldn't be worried but it was a comment made in passing by DH during a conversation and she went off on a tangent about the whole thing and talked for about an hour about what we would do when we got there.

[Gemini69]

Fuck that... tell your DH to tell his DM it's not happening OP

[MrsBertBibby]

The family holidays I most loved and best remember were the ones with my grandma and uncle on.

Chill out, you like her, the kids like her. Just make your own list of top things, and make sure yours don't get left out in favour of hers.

[maxthemartian]

YANBU. I wouldn't like my MIL tagging along on holiday. Your kids may love it but you won't!

[gamerwidow]

I can see why you’re annoyed noone should assume they are invited on holiday unless you actually invite them. That being said going on holiday with the grandparents is great when you’ve got kids because it means you can get actually get a break too. My mum usually comes away with us and DD loves it she’s always disappointed when her nan isn’t invited.

[gamerwidow]

If you don’t want her there though there is nothing wrong with having a holiday without her. We’re going away without my mum this year and there’s no bad feeling.

[Crunchymum]

You all need to calm down. This is 2/3 years away?.

[whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2]

It costs a fortune to go on this type of holiday. There's no way I would be saving up for a trip such as this that wasn't on my own terms. Not an area for compromise.

Really nice for people if they get on with extended family but time with my husband and 2DC is precious and I won't share it with others. Plenty of opportunities at other times for grandparents etc.

[Gemini69]

you must sort it out NOW.. don't wait and leave it's too late.... plus what seems a magical and memorable holiday for Granny and the Kids... OP/Mum has a hideous time.. that's just wrong....

[HeebieJeebies456]

she frequently joins us on trips out to places

perhaps you need some boundaries?
you can enjoy her company without setting the precedent that she is welcome to absolutely everything your family unit does.

[MaggieFS]

YANBU and you need to nip it in the bud now (or rather DH does) before she assumes it's ok any longer.

To pp saying calm down and it's years away, if OP doesn't do something now it will become ingrained and harder to get out of later. Can you imagine the drama 'but we've been talking bout it for years'.

If she doesn't want to do camping, and you understandably don't want her on this one, could you have a chat with her about what would be a holiday suitable for all of you together?

[SmallBlondeMama]

Omg take her!!! An extra pair of hands and free babysitting lol!! I'm so jealous

[Aquamarine1029]

I second that this must get sorted NOW, and this is your husbands problem. It is totally reasonable to want a private vacation with just your husband and children. It's high time to set some boundaries.

[Gemini69]

Did you manage to have 'The Talk' OP

[gryffen]

Just tell her no, not this time round as you want it just you, DP and kids.

If she gets stroppy then just say that she invited herself and that's not on.

Defo boundaries (same issues with my MIL).