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AIBU?

To want to know where my husband is?

21 replies

Gee80 · 27/05/2018 10:34

I have had strong suspicions about my husband and his boss for several months. He lies about the number of times they car share and I know that her husband she has lied to her husband also. As such I am always trying to ascertain where he is and where he's been. Last month my husband admitted to being in love with her only to retract it just hours later saying he snapped under my constant questioning and wanted to shut me up. However I have since caught him parking down a side street before entering her house for 25 minutes when he should have been in the office. He says he needed to pick something up for work and that he didn't want me to see his car outside her house so he hid it! I want to believe him but feel like a fool for doing so. He is looking for another job but I can't help but monitor where he is whenever I have the chance. Am I being out of order?

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CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/05/2018 10:36

Nope! Even if they aren't doing anything that would be considered cheating, he is lying to you, sneaking around and actively hiding things from you.

I couldn't live like that. I doubt anyone could.

What do you want to do next?

Aprilmightbemynewname · 27/05/2018 10:37

You posted the other day that he parked up and went into her house for 25 mins?

AnyFucker · 27/05/2018 10:38

What a way to live !

No trust, no relationship

PurpleDaisies · 27/05/2018 10:39

It sounds like your relationship is in serious trouble. Either or not he is cheating on you, there’s no trust.

What happens if he has an attractive boss in his new job?

Lifeisabeach09 · 27/05/2018 10:42

It's an emotional affair, at the very least.
Can you hire a private detective to follow him? Or pre-empt him and kick him out.
You won't be able to live with the insecurity and anxiety, tbh.
Do you have children?

SandyY2K · 27/05/2018 10:44

Why are you living this life. It's got affair all over it.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/05/2018 10:44

Either way you don’t trust him and that’s unlikely to change anytime soon

Waggingmyginger · 27/05/2018 10:46

The lies are enough to break many a relationship. Tell him you need a break from his lies as it shows his disrespect he can find somewhere to be for a fortnight. Consider unemotionally the behaviour you expect. Detail it.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 27/05/2018 10:54

YANBU to want to know where he is given his lying and sneaking around. But the reality is you can't know where he is all the time. Without trust the marriage can't work. Even if he moves jobs, what will that achieve? He could still meet up with her if he wants to or could meet someone else.

firstevernamechange · 27/05/2018 10:56

At this point does it actually matter if what he's doingvis cheating (and certainly reads as if it is)?
You don't trust him, he's lying to you. You seem to cling on for the sake of clinging on. A relationship should not consist of monitoring a partners movement. If you ever feel you have to, it's a sign you should end.

steven981 · 27/05/2018 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ghostyslovesheets · 27/05/2018 11:04

hmmm

To want to know where my husband is?

AnathemaPulsifer · 27/05/2018 11:10

If you're tracking his location and interrogating him constantly, this relationship is over. Walk away.

Gee80 · 27/05/2018 11:13

She isn't attractive believe me! It's the lies and the effort they go to to be together that hurts.

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Gee80 · 27/05/2018 11:14

I want him to cut all ties and move jobs so that we can move on without the shadow of his deceit hanging over us everyday

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BastardGoDarkly · 27/05/2018 11:20

But the lies and deceit will stay a shadow over you love, you're never going to be able to rest easy are you?

DianaT1969 · 27/05/2018 11:39

Were you jealous/suspicious of anybody else before this? Did you feel that he was faithful and committed before this?

Anewme2018 · 27/05/2018 11:41

You need to find out for sure. Either follower him or get someone else to like a private investigator. Once you get proof - take the evidence to the directer of your husband’s workplace and get his boss fired for unprofessional conduct. Also, pay a vist to her husband.

mmmccccccxxx · 27/05/2018 12:45

I'd have ended it by now

Gee80 · 27/05/2018 12:51

I can honestly say never. Something triggered in my head months back that made me realise the efforts my husband was going to spend time with this woman

OP posts:

WhiteCoyote · 27/05/2018 14:41

So he’s disappearing into her house for 25 minutes at a time? They’re not having a cup of tea together op.

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