PND/anxiety or life with twins?

Dippiedottie · 2018-04-22 19:01:02

Hi, Maybe I am being unreasonable and this is just how everyone would feel? Any advice greatly appreciated. I have 7 month old identical girl twins. They are great and I love them dearly. They were very much wanted babies. Neither twin sleeps well. We are still feeding once a night usually but they are up around 5 times with us settling them (twin 1 more so than the other). We have started co sleeping with twin 1 just to the to get some sleep. Both are still in our room. Moving them into their own rooms is not an option at the minute especially with us being up so often with them. Anyway, I guess I often wonder if I'm suffering from PND or maybe post natal anxiety. I feel anxious often (although I am anxious by nature), my anxiety definitely feels worse the less sleep I have had. I'm on maternity leave for another 2 months, looking back im unsure if I have enjoyed my maternity leave as it has been so challenging/ tiring. I try to get out every day but twin 1 cries herself silly no matter where we go. We have been to the doctors many times with her and all things have been tested/ ruled out. I think that she is just exhausted. Usually we then have to leave the groups early because it's hard to settle her and look after other twin as well. My other friends who have singleton babies seem to have loved their maternity leave with their lunches, swimming classes etc. All much easier with one baby. I love being around them but find it hard to always be so upbeat and entertaining to them because I am so tired. This leaves me feeling like I'm letting them down. I see other family members playing with them and I seem so dull in comparison. I have a lot of anxiety around worrying that they are getting the love and attachment they need (I've read up about twin guilt and I really feel that too) especially twin 2 as twin 1 takes up so much time and attention. Twin 2 does not seem to enjoy being held the way twin 1 does and likes to settle herself etc. This plays on my mind as I worry she will have attachment issues. Sometimes I just feel sad and I have a few times thought about my life before them and how easier it was. My husband is very supportive but works full time and is struggling with the lack of sleep too. I do get to lay on in bed at weekends when he is off which is greatly needed. I very rarely cry and I never really feel upset just overwhelmed if that makes sense? I worry I maybe am suffering from something and that if I got it checked out things may seem a bit brighter and the twins would be better off then. But on the other hand I maybe think this is just life with multiples and very little sleep? Like today I feel fine but tomorrow I could feel very different again. Not quite sure where I'm going with this but it's good to write it down.

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This thread has been deleted

The OP's really grateful for all the support and advice she's been given here but unfortunately she's been recognised in RL so we've agreed to remove this thread for her.