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AIBU?

How to do a reasonably priced hen party?

35 replies

Bebepoor · 21/04/2018 21:32

In an ideal world everyone would live close enough to one another to come out for a meal, go to a bar, maybe a club and then go home again but that’s not the case here. I think probably becoming more and more common?

Bride and MOH live in W. Mids. One bridesmaid in Cornwall. One in Glasgow. Six other close friends - London, N. Wales, Sheffield x 2, Gateshead & Kent.

Someone (or probably multiple people) are going to have to travel 5 hours + so I think 2 night better than 1 to make the travel worthwhile? And what part of the country? God everything is so expensive. Looking at £200 pp not including travel and before food and booze.

OP posts:
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Hellywelly10 · 21/04/2018 21:38

Pamper day. The day before the wedding?

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NewYearNewMe18 · 21/04/2018 21:47

Re think this: do you need one?

Weddings are expensive even when you aren't the bridal party if you have to travel, with hotels, outfits, hair cuts, [presents - let alone doing it twice for a piss up a couple of weeks before hand.

Hen/Stag do's are completely out of control (IMHO)

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hotcrossbun83 · 21/04/2018 21:49

Are bride and MOH based close to each other? That seems like the logical place to base it, could they put everyone up between them both? If you do two nights, make one at home with a cooked meal and supermarket wine, then the extra night isn’t adding cost

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Cindbelly · 21/04/2018 21:54

Is there a central location everyone would be happy with? (Hometown or uni town where they could stay with family etc to cut down costs?)

I would be tempted to look at booking a long weekend abroad, and everyone can pay their own flights and arrange transport etc.

Check out air bnb, I'm currently organising a hen night for 15 and have booked a lovely central London apartment for two nights at £52 each. There were loads of locations on there

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NapQueen · 21/04/2018 21:56

Bristol.

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FannyFaceAche · 21/04/2018 21:57

There's websites where you can work out the equal distance for a group to travel to meet somewhere. Perhaps that could help you fix a location. Then it's about finding a cheap activity for the Saturday afternoon. Or there's hen do companies that can make suggestions depending on budget. Comedy clubs that are attached to nightclubs work quite well as they will include food too. Everyone shares rooms at the hotel and you also make sure that people can opt out of parts of the weekend without feeling bad so if a two-nighter does seem expensive then people aren't obliged to do the whole thing. So they only come to the Saturday afternoon part, or just one night etc. I've organised both my sisters hen dos for about 90quid per person incl food and hotel but that was just for a Saturday night. You have to make the effort to find bargains. Or you can find a cheap out of season holiday home and have a girly weekend, get a tesco food shop delivered in, share cooking, that kind of thing. Depends what you want.

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OohMavis · 21/04/2018 22:00

Night in.

Cocktails, a massive takeaway and a borrowed karaoke machine. You have a good time, get drunk and you don't have to puke in a taxi on the way home.

And no heels.

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Bebepoor · 21/04/2018 22:32

Not sure where a night in would be held. None of bridal party have an appropriate house for hosting. Hmmm.

OP posts:
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LineyHasntLeftTheBuilding · 21/04/2018 22:41

I wouldn't have one tbh.

If they're slogging all that way for the wedding, do something nice the evening before.

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CoffeebyIV · 21/04/2018 22:57

I had the same issue location wise as a maid of honour and we looked at a hen do in Bristol.

It was actually more cost effective for people to travel (coach) to West Mids and phage the hen there. They all stayed with friends or family of the bride.

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Dozer · 21/04/2018 23:00

Hen dos are non essential.

2 nights a bad plan as would cost more! Saturday night is fine.

With the locations of invitees you mention the West Mids sounds fine. Those who live there could put up some guests, or find out about cheaper hotels, and arrange a simple evening out.

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Dozer · 21/04/2018 23:01

£200 pp before travel, food and alcohol is an expensive hen do IMO.

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Liverbird77 · 22/04/2018 06:32

I didn't have one. I didn't want people to feel under pressure to travel and spend money. We had a lovely party at the wedding, not a "bride" sash nor inflatable penis in sight!

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CuppaSarah · 22/04/2018 06:47

What we did for sil which had lots of people traveling or on budgets was me and moh offered beds the night before and lifts from the station. We did a pjyama day at the mohs home with games, treats and a beautiful cake made by one of the guests.

We ate, drank and were merry. Did our hair and make up and went out for a lovely night out and greasy takeaway after. Then spent the next morning with hangovers drinking tea and finishing the cake.

It was lovely, low pressure, low cost, but loads of time for talking and having fun. I think less is sometimes more, especially if she hasn't seen the people traveling for a while. Plus since we all hadn't spent silly amounts we were all able to get lots of surprises and meaningful gifts for the bride.

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BuffyFan · 22/04/2018 06:53

I've been on a couple of really fun, totally budget and travel friendly hen weekends. One in Leeds (stayed at an apart-hotel), with a cocktail making class and a dance class then a night out to see a tribute band. One in Oxford (stayed in a BnB) with a scavenger hunt around the city focused on a pub crawl, then a night out, finishing with Sunday lunch.

In both cases the daytime was relatively cheap (scavenger hunt done by a friend and totally free save for cost of a couple of drinks in the pubs), and the Friday night and Sunday daytime were optional. Done intentionally to suit both budgets and the need for travel - if you couldn't be there in time for Friday night that was fine, and of you needed to travel home on Sunday that we also fine.

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Bettyfood · 22/04/2018 06:53

The best thing would be get all contact details and ask people how they feel about travelling to say, somewhere in the middle, suggest a budget and see how they react.

I ended up with only 3 people (including me) travelling any distance, and we stayed together in a triple room which was quite cheap per person.

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DustOffYourHighestHopes · 22/04/2018 07:05

The cheapest one I went to:

  • bride borrowed relatives’ house and everyone shared a bed or were on blow up mattresses etc
  • day started with tea/coffee/massive cake spread at home with gossip, then a buffet lunch of cheese, bread, deli stuff etc
  • some games after lunch
  • activity in afternoon
  • back home to primp ourselves
  • cocktails out, meal out, night out then back home to crash.


Everyone tidied up, no one left a mess, and total cost was comparatively cheap!
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Bettyfood · 22/04/2018 07:05

Also even if you rented a big house for the weekend with a swimming pool, it would unlikely come to £200 p.p for accommodation.

www.homeaway.co.uk/p6750133

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speakout · 22/04/2018 07:07

Again- why have one?

Hen parties are horrible things.

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Bettyfood · 22/04/2018 07:08

That one doesn't have a pool but it works out less than £30 p.p per night.

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Bettyfood · 22/04/2018 07:09

I've never been to a horrible hen party. All, bar none, have been great fun. Depends who your friends are, I guess.

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mustbetimeforacreamtea · 22/04/2018 07:10

I had the same problem and with guests travelling from all over the country too. I just arranged to be in nice local pub the evening before the wedding and was able to have a lovely evening meeting friends and family as they arrived. It was such a nice start to the wedding seeing everyone catching up (it was a big reunion for lots of people) and knowing I'd been able to provide the opportunity for it. Somebody brought a white shirt and pens and got me to wear it and people wrote messages on it - like leaving school. Didn't put people to much more expense than coming to the wedding, no pressure on the BMs to organise something, just lovely and relaxed.

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mustbetimeforacreamtea · 22/04/2018 07:11

And it was open to all women, men and kids! Groom there too.

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MegEmski · 22/04/2018 07:12

Just had a cheap one:

Apartment in Southampton between 6 of us £55 for 2 nights
£5 for an online shop for Friday night, everyone bought booze with them, played games
Saturday breakfast included in online shop, those that fancies it went out for breakfast
Spa day £60, treatment cream tea and facilities
Cheap meal out £15 a head and drinks on top (pregnant so no booze for me)
Vodka revs £22 for booth, prosecco and a cocktail making kit - I skipped this bit

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MegEmski · 22/04/2018 07:13

I had a lovely time! Pregnant (33 weeks) knew half but not all the hen party. Really nice. Never been on a bad hen actually

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