To have a thread praising our step children?

[upsideup]

AIBU to ask we have a thread just thanking and speaking kindly about our step children?
Not denying the challenges or how hard it can be at all but just recognising the postives of being a step parent and the good points our step children have?

[upsideup]

I became a step mum when I was 17 to the most interesting, funny and determined 4 year old girl I have ever met. She was hurting and it was extremely difficult at times, so much disruption had already happened in her short life, her relationship with her bio mother was turbulent and unfortunately she now has very little contact, none of what was happening to her had she asked for, she didn't ask for her parents to split and for me to appear in her life
Along with having my own children later on this is the best thing that has ever happened to me, she taught me how to be a mother, she has made be a much better person and enabled me to love and care for others. My life would not of gone the way it has if she wasn't in it. She couldn't be anymore different to me and although this has meant lots of arguments I wouldn't want her to be any different, I have learnt so much from her.
A child who isn't mine and I didn't ask for but I have and I am so incredible lucky to be able to know and to be allowed to love, care and support her.
She is now 22, legally we have no relationship as me and her father broke up when she was 11, the thought of our relationship also ending because of this was horrible but she wanted it to continue, I am so thankful for that. The time and care I gave to her didn't go unnoticed or unappreciated and the love I gave wasn't one sided. She moved in with me, DH and our children when she she was 16 and fitted in perfectly, after being at uni she is moving back in with us at the end of the year and I feel nothing but excitement, shes is a pleasure and an honour to be around.
My 4 children dint see her as anything less than their big sister and she doesn't see herself as any different to that either, she is such a huge part of their lives and they all absolutely idolise her, I cant imagine a better role model for my children, I cant imagine a better role model for myself.

Shes strong and brave and ind pendant, she likes to break the rules and not conform to what expected but she is a kind, caring and beautiful young lady. Hatred is not something she feels, she is incredible compassionate, understanding and forgiving but will not put up with injustice or unkindness.
Shes not scared to say no and shes definitely not scared to say yes, shes following her dreams and standing up for what she believes in. She doesn't and has never fitted or blended in and I love that that has never changed.
Shes creative, talented and ambitious and she is going to go far, the minute I met her I knew she was made to big things.
I love her and am so happy to be her step mum.

[thegreylady]

My adult step children have enhanced my life since I ‘got’ them 30 years ago. His three and my two, all teens aged 13-18, it could have been a recipe for disaster but instead...5 degrees, 5 marriages, 9 grandchildren add up to one wonderful family.

[MorganKitten]

Not a Step Parent but a Step Child
As a step child - I will say my Dad has never treated me different from his biological son and has been awesome. I once heard it takes a real man to push the pram, not just fill it, even if its not his child.

Yes us step children might not be 'yours' but they will need the care and love. So to those who have taken on others children and not moaned about it - YOU ARE AWESOME!

[upsideup]

Thankyou, lovely from both sides! You hardly hear about happy step parent/child relationships on mn
Anyone else?

[Zampa]

My DSC (12 & 9) are awesome. They dote on my two with their Dad, for which I am very grateful. I will always love them for that.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

No experience but what a lovely story. Bought a tear to my eye. You were so young OP, I wonder if that helped in a way in the early days.

[Plump82]

Upsideup thats beautiful!

[KC225]

In Sweden the word for child is barn. Step children are called bonus barn.

[2old2beamum]

upsideup how I wish you were my stepmum. What a fantastic person you are.

[hotstepper4]

Yes yes yes!! I'm sm to 3 wonderful kids, dsd9, dss8 and dss5. I also have ds7. My skids have bought so much happiness aha fun into mine and ds life. We have our challenges, dss8 has autism and dss5 is going through what one might call a 'stage' right now but I wouldn't change it. The house is chaotic and feels too small when they're here and we never have enough money but I love them with all my heart.

[EenaMinaMoe]

My step mum is one of the most awesome women ever. She came into our family after my mum's death, when I was a very traumatized and very badly behaved teen and never flinched. She took on 3 kids not her own and supported and loved us without reserve.

I am endlessly grateful I have her in my life.

[elliepac]

Aaah this is lovely. We are 9 months into our blended family. I read lots of posts about step families and was sure it was doomed to failure! Turns out not. We have 3 in total. My dc's (DS15 and DD10 and DSS17 (who is with us full time).

It is not perfect but it works. DSS and I get along well. His mum lives in another country so he only sees her in school holidays. He asks me for advice and is a funny intelligent and caring young man. He has also accepted my two into his live brilliantly. He and DS get along really well (teen boys have things in common) and he is fab with DD who can sometimes feel left out as the only girl and the youngest. He is fab.

[WhippinPiccadilly1]

Positive stories here!

My partner has thus far proved to be a wonderful step dad to my 3 boys. They idolise him, and the youngest refers to him as daddy (we remind him he isn't daddy). He's bought so much positivity to their lives. And he loves them as much as they love him. It's been a joy to see. I didn't dare believe it was possible for a man to love someone else's children. Especially my son with additional needs. A man once told me no one would love him (cunt 😡).

My partner is a step kid himself. He's the 2nd oldest of 10. Him and his older brother aren't biologically his dads. But he calls him dad, and his dad calls him son. He is treated exactly the same as all the others. His dad drove a 9 hour round journey last month to support my partner at his own family court case (fighting for his own daughter).

Today I met my partners 14 month old for the first time (from the sidelines - I've stayed away while he reestablished his own relationship after his ex kept her away from him). And I'm already hoping I can be just as good a step mum as he has been step dad. It was lovely watching her play with her dad, and work out her personality, and how she will eventually fit in to our family. I hope she will be happy with us!

[Tors33]

I'm actually crying that's so beautiful I don't have step children she's very lucky to have you in her life

[GreatThingsWork]

I'm not a step mum but I am so very grateful to my DD's step family who have always treated her a DD, DS & DGD.

[upsideup]

Zampa

Thats brilliant more siblings and more people to love them can never be a bad thing, seeing dsd with my bio children definately brought us all closer as a family.

ThroughThickAndThin01

Thankyou, being young definately had its advnantages. I guess I didnt try to hard to be her step mum or a mother figure and step was more of a big sister or adult friends to her at the beggining which was easier for both of us to deal with.

[Daffodil397]

Fairly new step mum here, contact has fairly recently been established (not as regular as we’d like yet due to distance)
Dsd has additional needs and has not had an easy time of it so far in her life. She seems to have quite a high level of anxiety and seems very eager to please us.
Recently I asked her to do something and she said ‘nope’ which totally warmed my heart!!! And it is so nice seeing my dd and her together, they are like peas in a pod :-)

[upsideup]

In Sweden the word for child is barn. Step children are called bonus barn.

Perfect way of seeing it, you dont have go through pregnancy and giving birth for step children, you dont have to go through a long and expensive adoption or IVf process to have them, they are just an extra bonus.
I did nothing to deserve my DSD but I just got gifted her into my life.

[QueenofLouisiana]

I’m a step-daughter, my step-dad is amazing. He walked me down the aisle at my wedding, held my hair when I threw up (from bugs, alcohol and pregnancy at various times in my life) and has been a huge part of my life.
DS knows that grandad is not Mum’s Dad, but that it makes no difference. He is just as much grandad as any biological grandfather.
I am massively blessed to be his daughter- as I am known by everyone who knows us. Many people get a shock to find I call him “Fred” (not his real name) as they’ve always assumed he’d be Dad, he never had been- what I call him us irrelevant.

[MeganChips]

Lovely thread OP. I have two experiences of this.

First as a step daughter. I was a baby when my DM met my (step) Dad. I have never known my real father but I have never needed to. He abandoned DM and never saw me again. My step Dad and I fight like cat and dog but there is a real love there and he considers me his and vice versa.

I also have a step daughter I adore. She has enhanced my life from the moment I met her and we are really close. Her DM and I get on fine and she is a brilliant sister to my DCj. It has just been easy and lovely for the most part, the occasional bump in the road but no worse than I have with my own DC.

That said, it is a different relationship entirely than I have with my biological kids but no less valuable.

[upsideup]

hotstepper4

They are lucky to have you, a full house never gets boring! So much love and hapiness to go around

EenaMinaMoe

Beautiful, I'm sure she feels the same way about having her step children in her life too.

elliepac

Good luck! it can definately continue to work.

[stressedbeyond123]

Two Step-Daughters for me and i honestly couldn't imagine my life without them....along with my own DD.

we have our ups and downs, they drive me up the wall, around the bend and back again, but there is nothing i wouldn't do for them (all 3 of them that is).

for mother's day i had cards, flowers, gifts off all of them and they were all special and beautiful and very much appreciated. x