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Re DD missing preschool?

(23 Posts)
doonesnow Mon 19-Mar-18 07:53:35

I work 4 days per week in a really demanding and time consuming job and have a 4 year old DD who some days I only see for an hour or so in the morning while we get ready for the day and an hour at night before she goes to bed (if at all some days! sad)

On my day off, she should go to preschool for 3 hours in the morning but after a busy weekend, she sometimes doesn't want to get up and go when she knows I'm not at work. AIBU to let her have the day off? This is the second Monday in a row I have left a message with the school to say she won't be going in and I'm wondering whether there'll be any judgement/consequence for me not taking her. I miss my girl during the days when I'm at work and I figure come September when she starts school properly, we'll not be able to have these cheeky days off together. I don't think it hurts to have a bit of down time together when we get the chance. AIBU?

DefinatelyNotAPooTroll Mon 19-Mar-18 07:56:51

Absolutely definitely without a doubt keep her off.

As you said you won't be able to do it for much longer so enjoy those days while you can.

GreatDuckCookery Mon 19-Mar-18 07:58:40

Yanbu. Have a lovely day together!

worstwitch18 Mon 19-Mar-18 07:59:09

It's preschool... you don't have to send her at all if you don't want to.

Keep her off, she's only young.

nursy1 Mon 19-Mar-18 08:00:12

No. She needs you more than pre-School.

RiverRose Mon 19-Mar-18 08:00:19

It depends on the school policy. If it is a school then I have known them to send the attendance letters etc that they do for the older years and occasional withdraw places.

If it is a nursery and the spot is still paid for/funded. I can't see them giving any issues.

I don't blame you keep her off though, I would!

NonnieMouse Mon 19-Mar-18 08:02:02

A pre-school or proper state nursery school? It doesn't really affect anything though tbh so I'd keep her off too.

CombineBananaFister Mon 19-Mar-18 08:02:22

I would too but maybe mention the situation to the preschool as I think they do allow you to attend part time anyway? They did at my DS preschool as some children weren'the ready for a full week. Have a lovely time with your DD smile

Babyplaymat Mon 19-Mar-18 08:04:11

She's at preschool! It is entirely optional.

Afreshcuppateaplease Mon 19-Mar-18 08:04:45

If it is a day she recieves funding from the LA then the setting can have that funding taken back from them.

BangingOn Mon 19-Mar-18 08:04:51

Just be careful if you are claiming the 30 funded hours as I believe the school won’t be able to claim them if she is frequently not attending (and isn’t unwell) so you may be charged for them. I’m not 100% on this but it would be worth checking with the school.

Bumbumtaloo Mon 19-Mar-18 08:05:32

It depends for me on how the pre-school work the days. Both my DD’s pre-schools you could pick what days and what session (am or pm) you sent them for. If that’s the case can you not drop the Monday and that could free up a space for another child?

CottonSock Mon 19-Mar-18 08:06:48

I'm going to be in this position too so following.

doonesnow Mon 19-Mar-18 08:09:13

Phew! Thank you everyone! Taking time off without anyone being ill really doesn't sit right with me, good attendance is important in school and work but I keep telling myself we won't get this time back and it's just 3 hours she is missing. I wish I could spend every day with her! Have a lovely day everyone smile

M5tothesouthwest Mon 19-Mar-18 08:14:10

Can you not just withdraw her from the Monday session? No need for her to be there at all if you'd rather have her at home.
However, keeping a place open for her if she's not using it does seem unfair on other families who might be waiting for a place and may cause financial issues for the pre-school if it's a funded place (they can't claim the money back if she's not attending). Of course, if you're paying then do as you wish!

mammyoftwo Mon 19-Mar-18 08:14:59

Surely you wouldn't be on here OP if you thought skipping was ok?!

Should the priority not be scaling back weekends, so your dc isn't overtired on Mon? Do your 1-1 down time on Sat or Sun.

Queenofthestress Mon 19-Mar-18 08:15:18

Legally she doesn't need to be in so keep her off! grin

SleepingInYourFlowerbed Mon 19-Mar-18 08:17:51

My 4 year old only goes to preschool 3 days a week. Can you stop the Monday session permanently?

PeonyTruffle Mon 19-Mar-18 08:18:56

I used to make my 3yr old go when he was an over tired mess because I was scared he would get kicked out (it’s the preschool of an academy school, v hot on attendance)

One day he was sobbing his little heart out and I called the office and explained he was a big crying tired mess and they were LOVELY told me that they don’t count ore school attendance to the overall school and to let him have days off as and when he needs it

So another vote here for keeping your DD off

doonesnow Mon 19-Mar-18 08:22:44

Bangingon - I will ask about that as it is a funded place. However, I'd be happy to pay for the 3 hours if I had to, I wouldn't want the school to lose out (doesn't that sound like a crazy situation though - buying back time with my own DD?!)

I don't want to remove her permanently on this one day as some weeks I do have to work so cannot guarantee that I'll be able to look after her every week and don't have anyone around who can do ad-hoc childcare. I don't keep her off every week either, it has just happened a couple of occasions since Christmas due to family commitments and then the last two weeks in a row because I feel like we have been like ships that pass in the night just recently as work and home life have been so busy. Last Monday she was so tired after our busy weekend that she slept in until past 9am! I think what we really need to do is look at our weekends and try to make them less busy.

mammyoftwo Mon 19-Mar-18 08:42:11

That sounds wise and necessary OP

It would be confusing for a 3yo to be allowed to stay home from a known "school day" ad hoc to have fun with Mummy some days and not others.

prideofaberdeen Mon 19-Mar-18 09:54:13

I know at our local school pre-school, children were expected in on their set days or they had a risk of having their place removed. I was really surprised when I found out that this was a serious possibility if kids went on holiday during term time. We went on as many term time holidays as we could afford before the kids started school as we knew once they started, all we'd be able to afford would be camping in the uk!

TeenTimesTwo Mon 19-Mar-18 10:06:58

A few years back now, but when DD2 did pre-school we just said which days she was going in. So she started on 2 sessions a week and then gradually increased. Over 5 terms of going she was only every morning for the final term.

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