A bit of a long story so bare with me. Dd is 14 (year 9) she has Aspergers and although very intelligent she can be quite childish at times. There’s a boy in her year, let’s call him A, I know his mother, I wouldn’t say I am friends with her but she thinks she is friends with me. A’s mother has some special needs and I suspect A does too but he hasn’t got a diagnosis, he’s very childish, noisy and not very well behaved. A’s mother follows me around and messages me on FB most weeks inviting dd over. Dd gets on ok with A bit she doesn’t really like him, says he’s annoying, she has her own small group of friends that she hangs out with so hardly hangs out with A at school. Dd feels sorry for A so goes over his house a couple times a month despite people taking the mick out of her at school for doing so (because he’s a boy and because he’s very childish). A’s mother keeps buying things for dd and saying they are from A, some of these things cost £10+, other things less, they also offer to take dd out a lot (cinema, Pizza Hut etc...). Dd doesn’t want to tell A that she doesn’t really like him and quite often I have to make excuses for her not to go to his house. She has agreed to go to his birthday party in a few weeks but doesn’t really want to go as it’s more of a party for a 5 year old, involving party bags and party games but she feels sorry for him as he doesn’t have any friends (only family going to the party).
Yesterday dd came home with a DVD which A’s mum had bought her, she then messaged me to tell me she had given it to her as a gift. This is happening more and more and it feels like A’s mum is trying to buy him friends?
How do I deal with this? I have already told her that she shouldn’t buy dd gifts as I can’t afford to return the favour, she just keeps telling me how much A likes dd and they don’t mind buying her gifts. It’s hard to explain to A’s mum through messaging as she doesn’t always understand what I have written (due to her having sn’s), when I do see her face to face I can’t get a word in.
How should I deal with this?
I don’t want dd to be mean and say she doesn’t want to be friends anymore but I also don’t want to make her go over his house or hang out with him if she doesn’t want too, I feel it is effecting other friendships she has (she doesn’t have many friends due to having Aspergers and struggling to make new friends).
AIBU to think buying my dd gifts isn’t really exceptable?
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AIBU?
To not want another parent/child to buy gifts for my child (buying friends)
19 replies
Lovemusic33 · 20/02/2018 16:29
OP posts:
DancesWithOtters ·
20/02/2018 16:35
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