Sleazy talk

[justbrowsin]

My OH is part of a hobby group . This group goes out socially on a regular basis . The group is Mixed ages and sexes .

I've been to a couple of social events but these invites from my OH have tailed off.

One of the female group members is very overtly sexual . There is a lot of talk of tits and fannies , dicks , heads and such the such like .

At my first social event with my OH she was very flirtatious with all the men , quite loud, raucous and very sexual in her language . She exposed her boobs a few times . The really odd thing was everyone in the group was just bemused with this . At one point in the evening my OH had disappeared and I was left at the table , I went down to the bar to find him and he was stood with five other male members from the group whilst they stood surrounding this woman who was grabbing her crotch and telling a tale which was again of a sexual nature . I found the whole thing quite bizarre and a bit like watching a carry on film or Benny Hill .

This same behaviour has occurred at a couple of other socials I have been to .

I wasn't too bothered initially but it has started to bother me . The last two times my OH has been out with the group she has posted pictures of her and my OH stood at the bar knocking back shots , she has posted a pic the other night of a pint of Guinness , stating that the pint is waiting for my other half and it's definitely his at it has big head ( with winky eyed emojis ) .

What bothers me about this is that my OH sees nothing wrong in this , with her making these innuendos at him and me having to see this on social media . My OH has closed his Facebook page as I had voiced that I was unhappy about him standing at the bar doing shots with her. He said he was closing his page as he's never on there and I read too much into anything he's tagged in.

She posts a lot on social media so it is easy to see what and where they are even though my OH has closed his FB down .

I don't have an issue with him going out with the group but I feel uncomfortable that he finds her leery sexual behaviour acceptable . I find it odd that the rest of the group think that her behaviour is okay in this day and age . I also think if a man behaved like this continually towards females they would have been pulled up on it .

Aibu in wanting my OH to tell her to knock it off when she starts flirting and behaving in a lewd manner towards him.

[yerbutnobut]

From what you have described about her she obviously feels comfortable within the male group and her behaviour sounds quite 'laddish' banter, maybe your partner sees her as one of the guys and probably isn't attracted to her so for him its not a big deal. I used to work with a woman, couple of years younger than me, she was always the loudest at work or when we had drinks out, belching loud, making crude remarks, dancing on tables in a provocative way to the guys we worked with and for her this was her having a good time, just how she was and the guys would laugh along but one did say to a few of us one night that she wasn't there, that she's a good laugh but you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her and said all the guys at work thought like that. Any pics from nights out she would have her tongue stuck down one of guys ear or leg wrapped round them but it was just for the laugh and guys partners must have seen them on FB. I don't see how you can ask him to tell her to back off, it would probably make it awkward within the group, I think he needs to say something if her behaviour is making him uncomfortable.

[HildaZelda]

She sounds like an attention seeking nightmare, and very much like a woman I used to work with. She used to claim that "Women hate me because all their men love me because I'm beautiful". She wasn't. What she didn't realise was that while all the men used to laugh along WITH her when she was being 'one of the boys', they were all laughing AT her behind her back. Exactly like @yerbutnobut said, they all thought she was fairly pathetic at the back of it and said that she wasn't exactly a woman you'd be proud to being home to meet your family.
I wouldn't worry too much OP. I'm pretty sure that your OH and the rest of the lads there see her more as a figure of fun than anything else. They're just not going to say it to her face.