As well as two much older boys I have dd1 (3), dd2 (17mo) and ds3 (3mo). DDs got along ok, but after ds3 was born they just started scrapping and haven't stopped. Dd1 can't tolerate dd2, she has huge tantrums when dd2 even goes near any toy. My usual response is to say no, dd2's turn, you'll get a go afterwards, here play with this instead, or oh look there's an aeroplane/car/tractor outside and the distraction used to work. Now she starts upturning toyboxes and throwing stuff around, so she gets calmly removed, plonked in the hallway and told NO. Cue more screaming. She is always trying to butt dd2 out of the way or push her and grab things off off her. DD2 however waits til dd1 has set up say a picnic for example then runs off with something from it, cue chasing pushing, screaming etc, they seem to really hate each other for all the age of them. I thought maybe jealousy of the new baby, taking it out on each other?? They're both so lovely to him but nasty to eachother. Poor ds3 can't feed in peace as I ALWAYs have to jump up n sort out some carry on or other, is anyone else's kids like this and if so how did you deal with it? Their dad is great and takes over pretty much as soon as he gets in but I actually really dread my days with them. It's always a shitstorm by 10am. Sorry if it seems like a ramble.
AIBU?
To ask if anyone else's young children fight so much?
westeringhome · 14/02/2018 10:42
I think it might be partly a consequence of their ages, dd3 is at an age where she will be very territorial, while dad 17mths is at an age where she literally can’t consider anyone else’s needs or view points. My strategy in your shoes would be to divide and conquer! As much as possible, keep them physically separate. If they both want the same toy, put it on a shelf and tell them to each find another. Zone off areas of the room and make it clear they are each queen of their own domain. When they feel confident of their own space, they may be happier to share.
It will get better as they get older, in the meantime here’s some cake
It can't be easy having a younger sibling who wants whatever you are playing with. When ds started this with his big sister we got her her own 'special toy' and a box to keep it in. This was her toy and she could keep it to herself and we supported her in this. Everything else was to share, and sort out between themselves although if they couldn't it whatever toy was being argued over was removed. I also spent time explaining to dd that her wee brother wanted to do what she was doing because he loved her and wanted to be like her, so although he may be annoying it was only because he thought she was super and that it would be kind to include him in games.
They still argue occasionally and I wasn't brave enough to go for a 3rd so not same situation as you but I do believe these little things helped.
Hope things get easier soon!
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