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Is she disablist or am I sensitive?

(18 Posts)
StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 08:39:50

My mother is always have a go at me for being tired. She call me pathetic when I struggle to get up in morning and get really annoyed when I sleep in the day.
She have no sympathy for other people, especially me.
I have narcolepsy, so sleep is big thing for me. She make my life very difficult sometimes.

Yawnyprawn Wed 14-Feb-18 08:42:27

I don't know if she is disablist in the broader sense, but she's certainly being very cruel and insensitive towards you. Totally understandable that you would feel hurt.

dantdmistedious Wed 14-Feb-18 08:46:54

I think she's being a total dick.

laurzj82 Wed 14-Feb-18 08:47:53

Yep. I used to have ME/CFS. I would consider myself recovered but I have to pace myself and not overdo things iykwim. I had "friends" who used to say shit like that. I binned them. That is a pretty low thing to say about your child. Have you pulled her up on it? flowers

Sirzy Wed 14-Feb-18 08:48:38

Not necessarily disabilist maybe just not understanding the condition?

You are always going to get people who are more understanding/sympathetic than others but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are disabilist

HollyBayTree Wed 14-Feb-18 08:49:52

Do you have a formal diagnosis?

StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 08:51:06

There is no point pulling her up. She will not listen. She is never tolerant of people who are different to her.

StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 09:39:49

Yes I have formal diagnosis.
Just annoying she offer to help me but then always shout at me.

BarbarianMum Wed 14-Feb-18 09:42:26

Msube you would be happier if you didn't accept her offers of help and didn't talk to her about your tiredness? It's shit that she's not more supportive but if that's how she is then giving her a platform to have a go at you from is the worst thing you can do.

StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 09:46:25

I know, I just need her help atm. I have 3 year old and have had late miscarriage. She has come here from Russia to help me.

BarbarianMum Wed 14-Feb-18 09:52:08

flowers So sorry OP. I guess if she's over from Russia then she's staying with you and there's no respite either. sad Would she have the confidence to take your 3 year old out for some half day trips so you can rest at home?

StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 09:58:44

She take her to nursery for me as I struggle to get up early for her and help me with housework. I am thankful but just wish she won’t make me feel worse.

Ellendegeneres Wed 14-Feb-18 10:17:19

Sounds like my mum. I get pip awarded and I’m told it’s alright for some being given free money for sitting on my arse. Never mind that I have spinal disabilities which cause me debilitating pain day in day out, as well as mh problems. Never mind that it will help pay for someone to do some of the things I can’t. Never mind it’ll give my dc and I a better quality of life and help us. Nope, apparently it’s free money and she resents me receiving it.
Apparently the disabilities are in my head. It’s mind over matter doncha know. If I stopped feeling sorry for myself, my pain would miraculously disappear and I’d be able to walk normally and get a bloody job.
Aye, alright love 🙄🙄

Gilead Wed 14-Feb-18 10:20:24

I have a dd with Narcolepsy. Have you had a meds review lately? A lot of meds with Narcolepsy tend to have a 'wear off' effect after a while.
Sorry about your Mother. I never tell dd off for being tired. It's not her fault, it's not your fault. flowers

StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 11:55:01

Medication makes me worse. I find I am just very stressful at the minute. I will get better soon.

Gilead Wed 14-Feb-18 12:09:10

There are some good clinics around the country, it may be worth looking at some of the medication available. It took my dd a few goes to get the one best suited to her.

StandardRussian66 Wed 14-Feb-18 13:15:53

I will look.
Hope she will go home soon!

Snowysky20009 Wed 14-Feb-18 13:29:45

Ellendegeneres are you me? I could have wrote the exact same post to the letter!

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