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AIBU to TellEx no

(6 Posts)
Mar1984 Mon 12-Feb-18 16:38:48

Back story me and ExH split up last year and were divorced within 6 months. He has had a number of GF that he has introduced to our DS (7&4) despite me requesting him not until they are more established, all of which ignored. I am also in a new relationship (only 1 since we split) and live with my new partner and children.
ExH has always been about DS7 and DS4 has noticed and lately is refusing to go to his dads. We have an hour of trying and promising he will be collected and he still desperately doesn’t want to go there as he says dads love his brother more and him little bit. Ex has them set 1 day per week and rarely an overnight.
Ex has just messaged he has booked 2 weeks off work in the summer and wants them for the whole time. I asked if he could do a week at each end of holiday so they were not away as long as he said no. I am so worried about DS4 as he really gets upset going there and won’t wven stay a night at the moment, 2 weeks is too much for him, am I being awful to say he changes it to 2 lots of 1 weeks and try that first

Wetwashing00 Mon 12-Feb-18 22:21:20

Yeah, tell him no!
Split the weeks up as it will be kinder to your little one.
True he may not feel that way by the time summer comes, but at the his moment he is quite upset just to go with his father.
I would Insist he changes it or only attends 1 week

choseausername1 Mon 12-Feb-18 22:27:18

Do you have a court order or is access by mutual consent?

G120810 Mon 12-Feb-18 23:53:21

He's taken the time off and wants to spend time with them you would complain if he took the time off n never seen them

Kingsclerelass Tue 13-Feb-18 00:34:56

Can you explain the problem and get exh to deal with it? Is ds4 can't cope with one night, two weeks isn't going to work, no matter how much he insists.

WorraLiberty Tue 13-Feb-18 00:45:13

As much as lots of kids sometimes claim unfairly that a parent favours their sibling, the point here is that he doesn't even want to stay for one night, so he's unlikely to manage 2 whole weeks on the trot.

I think you're right to suggest 1 week at a time, although by the time the summer comes round, he and his dad might be 'best buddies' because you know how kids can be.

Still, these kids have had a lot of turmoil in their short lives. Both parents have rushed into relationships and some stability would probably do them good.

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