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AIBU?

Tired and need help and advice please

8 replies

Grumpykid · 09/02/2018 05:07

Hi, please help. Been in a relationship for nearly 18 months. We’ve had our ups and downs as with every relationship. We’re both married however before we got together before everyone shouts we both were already in the process of leaving our OH’s. I’m nearly 52 she’s coming up to 50. Anyway 18 months on I’m getting a divorce and she’s not even started? I’ve not met yet children and she’s still living with her children with no end in sight. Am wasting my time should I move on? Please help very confused as I love her dearly.

OP posts:

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thebewilderness · 09/02/2018 05:32

You both need to be by yourself for a while before you try to build a new relationship.

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InToMyHeart · 09/02/2018 05:36

I think we could do with a little more information here. Is your problem that she's "still living with her children" or that she hasn't started divorce proceedings?

If it is because she hasn't abandoned her children you need to grow up.

If it is because her divorce isn't underway - have you asked her about it?

Sorry if this isn't the straight forward answer you wanted but hopefully no one will say "yes leave her" or "no stick with her" with as little information as you have given!

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InToMyHeart · 09/02/2018 05:52

@thebewilderness makes a good point, you could probably both do with a break between relationships but I suppose you can't help when you meet people.

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Pengggwn · 09/02/2018 06:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Els1e · 09/02/2018 07:05

I agree with thebewilderness. A break between relationships will help you and her get perspective. I wouldn’t be expecting her to leave her children though.

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madsiemoomoo · 09/02/2018 07:15

For everyone saying 'she's not going to abandon her kids' of course she isn't, but perhaps the OP means that as they haven't met the kids yet and she lives with them, it makes life a bit difficult (rather than an expectation of abandonment!!) OP can't you at least meet the kids, at least then there is some progress even if she hasn't initiated the divorce yet?

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SwarmOfCats · 09/02/2018 07:22

How many children/what ages? It could be for their benefit that they’ve not met you yet, if she feels it’s disruptive.

Divorce can be expensive. That could easily be a financial thing.