To expect my 10MO's routine to be stuck to by GP's?

[NathansMummy0203]

I am talking about when they ask to have him overnight. He has a very good routine and every time they ask to have him he either doesn't get his naps when he should or doesn't get them at all because ''he wasn't tired'' he has the same naps every single day so it seems hard to believe that its only at their house he's not tired. They also don't get him up or put him to bed at the right times which then throws the rest of the whole day off. Not an issue for them as the only have him for 1 day, it's me that suffers when i get him home or the next day when he is all over the place.

So AIBU to expect them to stick to his routine or should i let it go?

The reason i am asking is because 1. they are asking to keep him, it's not like i am asking them to look after him. 2. They live an hour away from us and i had to listen to him scream all the way home because he was so exhausted as he hadn't had his proper sleep. 3. I feel like the are just disregarding what i am telling them like it doesn't matter.

I asked my husband to say something just to remind them that his routine is important and he never so i am annoyed about that as i always stress this to my mum and she understands so i expect him to do the same with his DP's but that's a totally separate thread :-)

Sorry if this is a bit waffly but this is only like y 2nd post on here.....

[Notasperfectasallothermners]

You dc isn't a play thing and since staying over isn't working your end just tell them it's best they wait until the routine disruption isn't an issue for you. Ie in a year or two.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Just say no to the overnights. It's not benefitting your DS so it doesn't need to happen. They can still see plenty of him during the day but no overnights until he's older.

[Tensecondrule]

No you are not BU. They’ve had the opportunity to comply with your wishes and have continued to do what they like, so I’m afraid i’d be telling them overnights are off until he’s old enough for it not to be so disruptive.

[Dermymc]

Tbh I'd stop them having him alone til they can be trusted to get him to sleep.

[NathansMummy0203]

Thank you for your replies. I didn't think i was BU as i don't think it's a lot to ask that his routine is kept the same since it's them that's requesting overnights. I just wanted to be sure before i say anything to them as i looks like i am going to have to since my H seems incapable. The way i see it is it's unfair on DS to have the same routine every day then for it to be changed just to suit them.

[DaisysStew]

If it bothers you then stop the over night visits.

My DM has had my DS overnight since he was small. I’ve never imposed my routine in her home. I trust her instincts and if she does things differently it doesn’t bother me. If it did I wouldn’t send him.

[CorbynsBumFlannel]

Yanbu.
It's entirely possible that he won't nap the same in unfamiliar surroundings rather than them lying about it though!
But if it's too disruptive and upsetting for him then yanbu at all to tell them the overnights aren't working and you need to wait until he's a bit older.

[NathansMummy0203]

I think I will tbh. I just didn’t want to seem too controlling and I know they love spending time with him and he does with them also. My mum doesn’t have an issue putting down for a sleep when he’s due one so I really don’t see the problem.

[NathansMummy0203]

Thanks @corbyns but he is fine going down for naps in other surroundings as I go to friends for lunch etc. And he naps in the travel cot there and he’s stayed with them loads so their house is not unfamiliar. This wasn’t an issue when he was younger I think they just think that now he’s a bit older it’s not as important. I think other posters are right, I will just say they can have him but not overnight as it’s too disruptive. Thanks all :-)