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Aibu.. Dps ex and dsd

9 replies

Alwaysconfused2018 · 19/01/2018 22:39

Long story. Try not to drip feed

Dps ex is always causing problems with access to his dd. So after failed mediation ( her words it's not legally binding)
He took her to court. Got an order. All went well for 6 weeks. Then she started finding loopholes. Lots of text evidence. He took her back to court to have it more specific.. Brilliant.
In court the first time he stated he would take her to dance class (as she tried to stop a Saturday saying she had dance and the judge told her not to be silly), however sometimes he gets called to work to cover so dsd will stay with me at home.. Never agreed I would take her as my DS does football, (however if I can juggle both I do) .

When going back to court the second time she tried to be awkward by stating she wanted for him not to collect for it to be someone else ? he suggested either me or his parents.. She outright said only your parents. No way Is your Fiancé to collect she's not blood.! Even tho I'd been taking her to dance when I could and do so much for her. But she knows by his parents collecting we have to de tour and makes it difficult but not impossible

Due to the time he's taken off for court he's working the next few Saturdays that he has his dd.. As only way his company let him have the time off for court, so fair enough.
So his dd will stay with me..
Now for dance on a Saturday. There's a part of me that now thinks, why should I take her to dance.? . ( which she doesn't overly enjoy) when her mum was so awkward about Friday collection at the second court sade, and was adamant I wasn't to collect because I'm not blood! . So why am I good enough to run around on a weekend.. Because it pleases her mum?

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Alwaysconfused2018 · 19/01/2018 22:41

I just don't get what her issue is. I let my DS, step mum or step sis or whoever pick him up, obviously providing I know them and that he's safe.
I feel bad for not wanting to do it, however I also feel she may 'try' to dictate to dp what's what. But she has no right to dictate what I do just because it suits her?

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strangerhoesagain · 19/01/2018 22:42

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DaisysStew · 19/01/2018 22:42

Because your DSD wants to go to dance class thats why.

I can understand you being pissed off with her mum but don’t punish your dsd because hers mum been awkward.

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Alwaysconfused2018 · 19/01/2018 22:45

No dsd isn't fussed..i asked her she said she didn't know whether she wanted to.
When I used to. Take her. Her mum used to stalk and park in the car park and watch me take her. It's a control thing.?

Inwill ask her again in the morning at breakfast whether she wants to go

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bf1000 · 19/01/2018 22:47

Keep it child focused. If she wants to go to dance take her to dance. If she doesn't wantto go to dance then dont take her. If somethibg comesup that means you cant get her to dance yourself or by asking grandparents to help, say sorry and explain why to child, respecting she may be upset if she wanted to go.

Avoid getting drawn into any extra drama with her mum and just manage situation at dad's with dad

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Idontdowindows · 19/01/2018 22:47

If she' stalking you when you take your stepdaughter to dance, what's the chance she's going to use the fact that you didn't take her to dance against your partner in yet another court appearance?

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RB68 · 19/01/2018 22:48

because the dance class is for a child who has no say in any of this and is being used as a weapon in assorted court cases by her Mother. Its a nice thing to do and part of the role of a step Mum. You need to swallow your pride on this one and let it go

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Alwaysconfused2018 · 19/01/2018 22:49

Good idea. DS football isn't till the afternoon tomorrow so can still fit in drama school if she wants.

It just infuriates me that she wanted it put in the court order for me not to collect.. So legally binding but happy for me to run around. Ah well we've had two years of this so far so I'm sure she'll stop soon lol

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Alwaysconfused2018 · 19/01/2018 22:53

It's him that's taken her to court for being awkward.. Was a very last resort.
Even the judge said she's being awkward on certain things ..
But yes nothing stopping her taking him to court I guess.
When dynamics occasionally haven't stretched to being able to take her when. He's worked we've textbher and kept them in case with the reasons