To find being a sahp very lonely.

[Aspieparent]

We have 3 dcs 2 are sn which is why I am a sahp.
I do everything from all the housework, admin work and handle all dcs medical things. I don't have any issues doing this as DH works long hours (50+ a week) to enable me to be at home with the children.
We don't have friends and family help apart from my parents that help as they can't handle dcs needs. I dont have friends because people get really fustrated at the fact I can't go do things and am often used by people who say they are my friends by wanting me to be there for them but not there if I need help so I distanced myself from them. I have a huge extended family but mostly all think am weird and often say my dc aren't sn they just need a good smack ECT so i distanced myself from them too. I have one neighbour who pops in to talk about her problems and needs to leave suddenly when she vented so I don't get to talk properly there either.
It's weekends like this weekend where dh works 8am till 7pm then his Christmas party at 7.30pm (I am not saying he shouldn't be going as he bloody deserves to go with how much he works) then back in work tomorrow at 8am till 7pm that I really realize how lonely and pathetic o really feel.

[OhHolyJesus]

My DH has no less than three Christmas parties to attend and I'm miserable, knackered and lonely.

I'm desperate to meet up with my old friends (from before kids, they know me best) and talk about something real but they all have kids and live far away.

It's like being lonely in a room full of people. I'm never alone but I'm lonely.

[Raver84]

It can be lonley at time but whilst I work more now than I did when mine were all tiny I did find it took getting used to. In the end I love my own company. A few things helped one was listening to talk radio I learned loads of new things. When long weekend like you have today were going to happen (my dh works long hours also) I would make sure I went to visit someone for an hour or pop to soft play for the morn so I wasn't at home all day by myself.

[TellMama28]

I’m in the same boat OP. It is lonely.

[Msqueen33]

I could have written your post. Three kids and two have Sen and I’m a sahm but not by choice. I’m lonely. And I love my kids dearly but raising children with Sen I’ve found has isolated me from other parents as life just isn’t the same.

[Aspieparent]

Glad am not the only one makes me feel less pathetic.
for you all being stuck and lonely too.

[JennyLane]

Yes!! None of mine have SEN but we have three aged four and under.
I'm so tired and the day is just endless cleaning and breaking up fights and cooking. I love them dearly but it is sooo lonely! Hugs op x

[OhHolyJesus]

Forgive me OP, I don't have kids with SEN but are there any groups you can attend with them or is it just too hard? I also make sure I go out every day to soft play or park etc but sometimes I only speak to one other adult a day - the cashier as I pay for my coffee!

MN is good for this though as even though we are not in the same room we can chat and not feel as lonely.

If it's at all possible see if you can arrange a coffee with a friend soon - I do find it helps having something to look forward to.

[Aspieparent]

Unfortunately there are groups but one of my sn children can't deal with it. I hate winter as he struggles more with his legs and hurts more so we end up trying to stay in doors to avoid the cold.
I think that's what i lack alot the ability to speak to other adults. I can't go out now till the dcs go back after Christmas as dc 2 and 3 have both broken up for Christmas already and dc 2 is the one they struggles more in winter.

I agree I love them to bits and I do love the time I spend with them. Unfortunately not to sound horrible but dc2 issues mean that I still have to do nappy changes and changing clothes and helping him eat so sometimes I also feel stuck in the baby years and I really don't mean that in a horrible way I would do anything for him always just sometimes it's exhausting.

Thank you for the hugs jennylane.

And your right ohholy mn is brilliant for people like me probably why I am here alot lol

[Prusik]

I'm not a SAHM as such, but am going into my second maternity leave. All friends I had are back at work and there seems to be no one left. I'm not in your position but just wanted to throw some empathy your way. I'll have two DS's, 13 months apart and it does feel tough and isolating

[twinkletoedelephant]

Me too i have 3 with asd... People have been gradually cutting me out for years so can be unpredictable so school parents tend to avoid us :(

Often I go days without speaking to anyone other than do.

I miss people

[OhHolyJesus]

Maybe a weird question on this thread so apologies in advance...but I wondered if anyone here had considered therapy?
I'm considering it again, had some years ago. I don't know - my world has shrunk so much and I don't know how I'd manage to even go regularly but I feel I need to talk to someone and develop coping mechanism somehow.

Just throwing it out there I guess... anyone?

[mummyrabbitpeppapig]

I did counselling. Had to wait 12 months and then pay a voluntary fee. Went every Tuesday morning term time. Started college course ( need a job asap ) so had to give it up as only slot she had. Do miss it - think I didn't realise at the the time but it DID help

[Pluckedpencil]

I get lonely. At home with a two year old and somehow being at home with a small child is actually more lonely than being on your own. If
I were truly alone, I'd read, crochet, play my instrument, mooch round the shops, help at at ds' school, run now and then, etc. As it is I'm just making endless rounds of food, changing nappies, dropping off and picking up, etc. I know what you mean about your world getting smaller. I am far from family and now not working I feel like my identity has been all but cut off some days, luckily I have a fantastic dh and some lovely rl friends, but during the day it is still very lonely. That is why come Jan, the 2yo is going to preschool in the mornings so I can do some paid work and recharge my batteries and set up some productive activities for the toddler, instead of watching mummy clean.