Getting my dcs ready for school this morning, as I've gone to get d's blazer I noticed he'd written on the wall "ds surname is dead"
I'm a little bit worried as it's not the first time I've seen him write this, the first time was on a piece of scrap paper which I asked him about and he laughed and walked off.
For context he is a very anxious child has some hyperactivity and behaviour issues, he is often very moody, doesn't sleep well and still wets the bed. He recently started a new school and according to his teacher has settled in very well, I have also asked him if he's getting on and making friends which he says he has so I have no real concerns about that. Has anyone experienced this sort of thing?
I’m not saying your son does have any special needs. However, at 5 my son was described in exactly the same way, his difficulties were put down to being ‘naughty’. It severely affected his self esteem.
You’re his mum and know him best. You could ask for a referral to a paediatrician via your GP if you do have concerns.
My boy wasn't dissimilar at that age....I think (hope) he's just working out what words mean and what his own emotions feel like. If my boy was told off for doing something naughty, he would then say things like 'well I should die then' - or 'I'm going to go and get run over.' He used it to get back at me I think - I had many close family members and a close friend all die within 18months and I was very upset about losing them (obviously). I think he wanted to 'die' to hurt my feelings, which it did. But once I explained what they meant - that you would never come back and would be gone forever he seemed to understand that it wasn't a nice thing to say. I also reinforced the fact that I loved him unconditionally, even when he was naughty and that I was only telling him off to encourage him become a kind, respectful grown up. I left it for a year and it happens much much less now. I am hoping he will just grow out of it??!!
shedmicehugh if I'm honest I do think he may have 'some' issues, I've not mentioned it to his new teacher but did to his previous one who didn't think there was any issue with his behaviour as he is completely different in school, however both did notice his anxiety.
He cannot describe what makes him anxious, but when he is feeling it he gets a headache/ tummyache and that's when his behaviour starts getting bad and he's starts acting up.
Headaches, stomach aches, feeling sick, upset stomach, bed wetting etc,etc can all be physical symptoms of anxiety.
Teachers described my ds as ‘fine’ in school. At 5/6 ds would say school was ‘fine’ too.
Assessments etc showed he wasn’t ‘fine’ at all. He struggled, silently with most aspects of school.
I think at 6 most children can only describe things in general terms.
With ds I found if I asked him how was school (a pretty general question) I got a general answer ‘fine’! Although his behaviour at home said otherwise. It’s quite common for children to hold it together at school and behave differently at home.
I would write all his subjects down ie English, maths, PE, breaktime etc and ask him to put a smiley face, straight indifferent face, sad face next to each one.
Every sad face I would ask what made him sad about that lesson, what he found easy/hard etc. This helped to identify the triggers for his anxiety
School can do a similar thing, at certain times during the day too. If you have an understanding school. It only takes a few minutes to identify a happy, sad face etc after each lesson for a week or 2, to identify triggers and where help might be needed.