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... to be jealous that my husband is leaving me to travel with friends abroad for the week?

(24 Posts)
msfo Tue 07-Nov-17 18:25:15

He's going tomorrow and I don't even want to see his face today. I'm extremely upset that he's going to leave me with his family while he goes away for a week. I feel so left out around them. I've told him but he says I'm being unreasonable. I can't even visit friends and family because they live far... sad

LindyHemming Tue 07-Nov-17 18:26:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

msfo Tue 07-Nov-17 18:30:57

@Euphemia We're supposed to be moving out when he comes back.

deepestdarkestperu Tue 07-Nov-17 18:31:48

If he can go abroad, surely you can go and visit your friends and family too?

msfo Tue 07-Nov-17 18:34:11

@deepestdarkestperu Except, I've already taken a week off work to train for another position elsewhere, so I can't leave.

NapQueen Tue 07-Nov-17 18:35:20

Why dont you want him to go?
1) you will miss him - yabu its a week
2) you need him around (carer type sitch) - yanbu but there needs to be something in place so he can have time
3) you arent going on holiday - yabu. Go on tour own holiday.

Ellisandra Tue 07-Nov-17 18:36:24

Either there's a hell of a back story or you need to grow up. Don't even want to see his face?!!!

This is your husband.
You can't go due to work, why can't he?

Unless he's blown all your money on this that you've been saving for 2 years for your first ever holiday... or similar backstory - YABU!

NapQueen Tue 07-Nov-17 18:36:56

Unless you are going to post a massive dripfeed like you have five day old baby or he has stolen your credit card to pay for it then the way you are treating him is, imo, emotionally abusive.

AlternativeTentacle Tue 07-Nov-17 18:39:45

Except, I've already taken a week off work to train for another position elsewhere, so I can't leave.

So you couldn't go with him anyway?

AuldHeathen Tue 07-Nov-17 18:46:03

If he’s buggered off at no notice and/or not run it past you before booking it, then you’re not being unreasonable.

Here it’s me that goes gallivanting alone. Not very often - my last trip abroad was almost 3 years ago. I always ask DH if he minds, check the dates suit the family in general (eg no important appointments for him or the dc who are still here). I never did this when the dc were really small. I also wouldn’t do it if me going away would leave the household short of money. I regard this as essential in a long relationship. I ask, he is rarely bothered.

deepestdarkestperu Tue 07-Nov-17 18:49:44

I’m afraid I don’t see the issue. You can’t go at the moment because of work, so arrange another holiday of your own when you can and go away with your own friends.

LindyHemming Tue 07-Nov-17 18:50:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

msfo Tue 07-Nov-17 19:05:50


That's the case. I'm sorry to everyone else for not giving a back story.

He promised me earlier on in the year that closer to Christmas he'll take me abroad. Instead, without prior notice, he booked a ticket to leave without me. I didn't know he did this, he only just informed me a week or two ago. Hence why I booked off the wrong week. I didn't know he was going.

cathyclown Tue 07-Nov-17 19:08:57

The issue would appear to be the fact that you will be alone with his family whilst he is away.

What relationship are the family to your husband, and do you all get along OK?

cathyclown Tue 07-Nov-17 19:11:10

OP have just seen your latest post. That seems to be very mean and thoughtless of him. Who is he going with?

Doesn't sound like a nice person to me. But I don't know the full story either.

msfo Tue 07-Nov-17 19:22:29

He's blown all his cash, too. He's borrowing off me.

I guess all I can do now is plan my own holiday.

msfo Tue 07-Nov-17 19:23:24


Our relationship is OK. I'm not too keen on them, though. They tend to isolate me... sad

Butterymuffin Tue 07-Nov-17 19:26:20

Don't let him borrow from you. If he can afford a holiday, he'll have to find a way to afford spends. Say you've overspent already and didn't realise.

MinervaSaidThar Tue 07-Nov-17 19:41:57

Why are you rewarding him breaking his promise to you to go away with you by lending him money?

He'll never change if you're a soft touch.

Ellisandra Tue 07-Nov-17 20:00:45

Well, more sensible to include the back story.

Why on earth do you describe your relationship as OK?

My husband promising to take me away and then booking the time away with his mates instead with my cash...

I wouldn't describe that as OK. Unless OK is code for "pretty fucking rocky".

If this is as you described, I would be thinking about divorce. No exaggeration. Where's the respect? Where's the kindness? Where's the love?

NapQueen Tue 07-Nov-17 20:04:04


ILoveMillhousesDad Tue 07-Nov-17 20:07:00

You gave him money!!!!

cathyclown Tue 07-Nov-17 20:17:50

Where are you moving out to, your own mortgaged house, a rental, what? Have you the money/deposits/furnishing money put by separately for this?.

AnyFucker Tue 07-Nov-17 20:20:49

I don't think you are going to get any useful replies unless you tell the full story

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