to think my DH is selfish (I know I'm not UR)

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

So for those who don't remember me, I won £500 on a raffle (that I realised my mum had actually entered me into) and my H wanted to spend it on a new PS4 for himself, when I didn't and used it to clear some debts and get my DD (who's 2 and has a number of extra needs) some Christmas presents he accused me of being a CFer because my mums offered to get me a new Slow Cooker for Christmas and I specified which one I wanted including size and colour.

I had some AL on Friday as DD was supposed to have an appointment that got cancelled but I decided to use it anyway. I went to a supermarket near me and decided to buy the ingredients to make biscuits with DD for her to take into Nursery tomorrow for her halloween party. I put it all away on DDs shelf in the kitchen cupboard, and was super excited to do some baking with her this afternoon.

I've just gone to the cupboard to get everything out and weighed ready before DD wakes from her nap, to find the selfish t**t has eaten the chocolate I'd bought and also the packs of orange smarties I'd bought (I was going to do some normal chocolate cookies to decorate with white chocolate to make spiders and then some orange smarties ones to go with the halloween theme - it's for a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds they won't care t's not perfect). I've text him and apparently he didn't realise I wanted to bake with them so them being on DDs shelf which your not supposed to touch isn't enough of an excuse to NOT eat them?

He's buggered off to work with the car, so although I could go to the shop by walking (it's about 3 miles away) I don't know why I should.

AIBU to think he's selfish and only thinks of himself? And what do I do about it? As DD still needs something to take in for the halloween party tomorrow

[expatinscotland]

Why exactly are you with such a selfish twat? He can go and replace the items. Duh.

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

He's at work until 5pm so can't go as shops will be closed.

I am beginning to question myself why I'm still with him.

[YawningHippo]

Local garage or Tesco local will have chocolate and smarties. Tell him to replace what he has taken.

[Santawontbelong]

Is he your dd df?

[Dozer]

Yanbu, very selfish behaviour, but don’t worry about the items for the nursery party if he doesn’t get anything or bring the car back early enough for you to get something bought, it won’t be a huge deal if DD doesn’t take anything on this occasion.

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

Yes he's DDs father.

Dozer that's not the point though, DD won't care but I do all the other mums will have made or bought something to take in, plus I was looking forward to having some 1-1 baking time with my DC.

[Santawontbelong]

Tbh sounds like he is a bit resentful of your dd.
Would be concerned about that.

[elessar]

Yes he sounds selfish.

In isolation this incident isn't really that bad (although he ought to replace the items - surely you have a garage or local shop that's open later than 5pm that he could detour via? or go out on his lunch break??) but combined with the other things he just seems like a selfish arsehole and I'd wonder why you stay with him.

[Ttbb]

On the note of the biscuits just make some short bread out of the ingredients you have left and cut it into ghost shapes. On the note of your husband he sounds like an absolute bastard. I don't really have anything useful to say but you have my sympathy.

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

Have you got any icing sugar and food colouring? If you do then you can make the biscuits as Ttbb has suggested and make coloured water icing to drizzle over them.

And I remember your previous thread. Sounds to me like you have bigger problems to address about your 'D'H's attitude to you and your child. Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?

[ButchyRestingFace]

Thank Godless I'm single.

🙏🙏🙏

[PickAChew]

So he's not just a financially irresponsible manchild, he's a greedy, financially irresponsible manchild.

Life almost certainly wouldn't be harder without him around.

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

I do have icing sugar and a bit of orange food colouring yes, I'll use those thank you!

Like I said I am considering my next move, I am being careful with it, as I can't cut DDs financial support when we can't get DLA for her.

[Dozer]

Yes, I know the main point is that you can no longer do the activity with DD, and that your DP/H has been selfish.

Given the situation, though, baking something else, baking alone in the evening when you’re upset, and/or rushing about to buy stuff with no car, are all worse options IMO than not taking anything to nursery tomorrow.

[NotAgainYoda]

Oh. You again. With your adolescent partner

[wibblywobblywoo]

Do round biscuits, make up some fairly stiff icing, pipe concentric circles on the biscuits then get DD to run a toothpick through icing - from centre outwards and it'll make spiders webs biscuits - DD will love it. And then LTB.

[MrsOverTheRoad]

The fact that DD has a shelf of her own is a bit of a red flag...is it so he doesn't eat all the things you get for her specifically?

[Ausparent]

YANBU. In your position I would insist he gets the stuff on the way home a and that you and dd bake the cookies this afternoon. He can decorate them then he gets home.

It doesn't have to be the end of the world but it is important to discuss these issues with him. Otherwise every future action gets added to the pile until there is no way back for you.

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

MrsOver Not really, it was originally where we kept bottles, formula and all her weaning stuff but now she's bigger and eats with us it's just where we keep treats and crisps specifically bought for her.

[ThisBigSky]

I'm sorry, but why does your DD have her own shelf?

Surely you all share food and you both ensure your DD has enough to eat?

This makes no sense. I can understand why he may not have known that they were for baking because quite frankly the child having their own shelf is very bizarre. Particularly as you state he's not supposed to touch it?

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

Of course DD has enough to eat, but it's just everythings always ended up on this particular shelf when bought for her. We have our own stuff separately from her. I don't know why I've never changed it, I just haven't.

[DavetheCat2001]

Of course your 'D'H is a selfish twunt. You already know this, and to be honest 99.999% of people on here are going to agree with you.

So the question is, where do you go from here? It's not really about him nicking some chocolate from the fridge that wasn't meant for him, it's about him being a bit of a cunt.

I haven't read any of your previous posts, but sounds as if he has form so my advice would be either have a proper talk with him and see if this is something that can be resolved going forward, or LTB.

[melonribenia]

He sounds so selfish.

We have a shelf for our ds’s. We keep fruit pots, biscuits, bread sticks and containers that we use for their snacks on it.

[Therealjudgejudy]

I don't mean to be rude but why do you keep posting about him? You know he's selfish, you know he's a man child and you know he doesn't respect you or his child as his needs and wants always come first. Either grow a backbone and leave his pathetic arse or just keep putting up with it. Your posts are wind ups because you choose to ignore all the good advise and do nothing. Sorry, had to be blunt.

[NurseButtercup]

I think you need these after the post from Therealjudgejudy +