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Looking for advice please

(5 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

p2nmh Sun 22-Oct-17 17:58:04

Hello all. I’m after some advice?
I’ve NC.
I’ve recently received a text from a friend of mines who would like to meet up for an evening dinner.
My problem is that unfortunately I’ve had some personal problems in the past....I wouldn’t even attempt to explain on here but let’s just say I’m still recovering, my friend as I had spoken about earlier had been what o thought at the time a real rock for me...I guess on reflection I was unfair as at the time I really couldn’t see the end of a really dark tunnel, over time this friend would make remarks about my situation and I often felt judged, the last conversation we had several months ago she insinuating that I had mad a mountain out of a molehill and that I was not truthful😳. There are many little comments that I simply let go over my head as I previously said I was in such a dark place and also wanted to respect our friendship. In respect of the friendship and I felt I was draining her I kept my distance and would only occasionally contact and would discuss anything but my situation, this worked for a while but then I would get what I call inappropriate text messages from said friend wanting to know where I was? What was I doing? Where was I going? And then putting me down for still completing my degree and applying for jobs so that I could start to make a better life for myself and my children- I think I probably felt her enquiries were a bit belittling and intrusive. I’m now wary about being around.
But back to my point this friend is now asking to meet up next month and insisted I don’t bring the children as she won’t bring hers and has even suggested a time and place informing me the reason for the time and location is because she knows I work.
I really don’t want to go and I haven’t responded to her text as I don’t know how to politely decline.
AIBU? Any ideas how to move forward with this?

Santawontbelong Sun 22-Oct-17 18:01:23

I have recently ended a friendship that wasn't a positive addition to my life.
I sent her an honest message saying sorry I haven't text back recently but I have had second thoughts about continuing our friendship - and then stated the reasons why. . I asked her not to contact me as it wasn't up for discussion and I didn't want things to end in a row..
She didn't reply and I feel like a great weight has been lifted for being honest with her.
Maybe an option for you.

p2nmh Sun 22-Oct-17 18:10:50

Santawontbelong-Thank you. That’s a very good idea unfortunately I’m a coward. But in saying that honesty has its own rewards, and at least it would be easier than face to face.🙂

Santawontbelong Sun 22-Oct-17 19:06:01

I am also a coward and hate confrontation. . But seeing her was affecting me so had to be done.
Honestly the relief is amazing.
Send the message and block all ways of contact.

CarolineMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 22-Oct-17 21:32:47

Hi there @p2nmh. We think you might have posted this in Site Stuff in error. We'll move it over to AIBU shortly, although do let us know if you'd rather it went to another part of the boards flowers.

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