Talk

Advanced search

To want to hang out without children?

(15 Posts)
crazycatgal Tue 17-Oct-17 20:45:06

I have an old school friend who I like to meet up with when we're free and we're both in our early 20s. Recently every time we make plans she brings along either her niece 11 or nephew 5 and it's becoming annoying now.

We're supposed to be doing something next week and She's just sent me a message saying 'can niece come? She really wants to come with us.' I really don't want to go if we're going to have a child with us all day. It's not that I don't like the niece or nephew but when I make plans with an adult friend with no children I don't expect to be looking after children all day, and they're coming along with us every time now.

Would I be unreasonable if I reply saying no? And how do I say this in a nice way?

Maelstrop Tue 17-Oct-17 21:16:23

Text back saying I was hoping for just a lovely adults only day. Is she providing childcare? In which case, she'll find it hard to come without the child. Do you have to meet up at weekends? Can't you arrange it for when the children are in school?

I feel your pain, friends of ours want to bring their children every time we meet up. I'd quite like an adult only meet up!

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 17-Oct-17 21:17:33

Just say "Oh I really need some adult time just with you..." and wait.

crazycatgal Tue 17-Oct-17 21:19:21

No she's not providing childcare, if anyone does its normally her parents (children's grandparents.) We do normally have to meet on the weekends as my friend is a TA so is only off on weekends, we were going to meet on a weekday next week but that's half term so the children are off school.

PurpleDaisies Tue 17-Oct-17 21:19:57

That's odd. I thought she'd be bringing her own children. Is she looking after them during the day?

I'd say you want to just meet her and you can find a different date if that one doesn't work for her.

PurpleDaisies Tue 17-Oct-17 21:21:18

Cross posted with you. Just say you don't fancy meeting with kids there. You're not there to entertain her niece.

Ttbb Tue 17-Oct-17 21:21:22

Just say that you were hoping to do a pub crawl.

Santawontbelong Tue 17-Oct-17 21:21:51

Would mentioning you were hoping for a wine lunch sway her leaving dn at home?

Andylion Tue 17-Oct-17 21:22:54

YANBU, but your friend is as she apparently told her niece about the outing even before she asked you if you'd mind.

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 21:23:13

Maybe just say "if you have the dc not to worry. Let me know when you're free. I need a boozy/ adult day out" or something.

crazycatgal Tue 17-Oct-17 21:23:55

No, she's not looking after them at all. To be fair the 5 year old only normally comes on the rate occasion that she is looking after him, it's the 11 year old niece who keeps being invited.

My friend is a bit immature and I think she sees her niece as more of a friend than a child and can't seem to realise that she's bringing a child along all of the time.

crazycatgal Tue 17-Oct-17 21:24:27

Rare*

PurpleDaisies Tue 17-Oct-17 21:26:30

Just keep saying you only want to meet with the two if you there. She'll get the message.

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 21:26:33

Ok so "you go ahead with your DN. let me know when you're free another time."

MadMags Tue 17-Oct-17 21:26:52

It's a bit weird of her, tbh!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now