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Nobody makes any effort with me anymore

(9 Posts)
Mittens92 Tue 26-Sep-17 07:40:57

Sorry I tried to find a rant section but couldn't! I think I am just feeling a bit low and moody cos I am due on but just wanted to get it out there because I honestly don't have anyone else to talk to.

I wouldn't probably class her as my friend anymore, but her little one was born 5 months after mine so we was pregnant at the same time. We used to always chat and I was always there for her, giving advice and so on! When she and her husband had an argument, I offered her a place to stay cos she had nowhere else to go.

Now she works full time again, I understand she is busy but I am too because I also work, a student and also a mother. I have been up to hers a couple of times, I ran errands for her, went and seen her to make sure she and her LO are OK, and yet she simply doesn't have any "time" to message me and ask me how I am? All it takes is a phone call or a text. We did plan lunch before but my son was extremely poorly he had to go A&E on the day so I said we will definitely do it the week after but when I messaged her the day before, she didn't reply until two days later.

I think I just feel pissed off because everyone takes me for granted because I do anything for anyone if it means helping them! She hasn't messaged me for about a month, I sent her a text and said hello etc but it was very basic. I think sometimes, you are far better off on your own to avoid disappointment! I haven't got any Mummy friends, I was hoping mine and her LO could play together but it never happens seeing as she never looks after her anyway as she is always at her grans! sad sorry this is probably an unreasonable thread but just wanted to get it off my chest xx

IHateYourCarpet Tue 26-Sep-17 08:39:21

You sound like you have some really shitty friends sad and you're not unreasonable to feel the way you do!

How old is your LO?

Mittens92 Tue 26-Sep-17 08:48:54

@IHateYourCarpet he is 1 years old sad and I have one good friend but she doesn't have children so she kind of enjoys her life how she wants x

IHateYourCarpet Tue 26-Sep-17 17:57:32

At that age you have plenty of time to make 'mum' friends smile and it sounds like you've got tons on your plate, working and studying!

I really think you need to focus on forming relationships that you get equal value out of. You sound lovely, and deserve to be treated as such.

Does your LO go to nursery? Have you tried any of the mumsnet meet ups?

Mittens92 Tue 26-Sep-17 18:03:13

@IHateYourCarpet thanks so much hun you are really kind. My LO does go nursery, but during my sort of spare time it would be lovely to just have a conversation with someone in the same boat as I am but I have evaluated my relationships with those who doesn't seem to bother and I have realised it isn't worth getting upset over. I will check the mumsnet meet up thread right now I didn't think of that one! Thanks so much xx

Doublemint Tue 26-Sep-17 18:46:49

I totally understand how let down you feel by your friend- but your post comes across as if you're relying solely on her for your social life/support. Maybe it's time to invest in meeting up with a few other friends regularly and try to make a network or mummy friends rather than have this sole friendship- it puts your under a bit of pressure if she's working full time and supposed to be your entire social world.

And I wouldn't take the not texting back instantly thing personally- many mums (maybe more so those who are in a paid job) don't have time to text back straightaway. I see texting as pretty much purely functional now. If a friend texts me with just info I don't text back straightaway, unless it's a question. I often don't have time to and try to set aside a time in the evening that day or the next to reply to my friends and families emails and texts.

Try not to take it so personally, I doubt your friend has any idea how it feels from your perspective!

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Tue 26-Sep-17 18:47:55

Give the mush app a go too!!

IHateYourCarpet Tue 26-Sep-17 19:16:38

I didn't want you thinking I'd forgetten about you smile bloody work!

I think that's the best attitude to be honest. Life is far too short to devote your time and energy into relationships that don't mean much to you.

Oh. And on the note of your childless friend, she might surprise you. I'm ashamed to say I was very much THAT friend, it took me a couple of years to re-establish my relationships with my now parent friends. I just always felt like I was in the way blush so left friends with children alone!

And where about (roughly) are you based? I'll have a lot of free time when my maternity leave starts grin

Mittens92 Mon 09-Oct-17 07:11:57

Sorry for late reply everyone and thank you so much for your kind comments!

@IHateYourCarpet I am based in East Midlands area Hun. Sorry for late reply x

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