He's just accused me of cheating!

[teaortequila23]

Small rant!
So my period is 2days late.
I'm a stay at home mum of two 3 and 1year old. I basically haven't got time to have a piss let alone go out an shag someone and last night I was being moody and he said "oh are u on your period?" I said "no worse. I'm not!" He then goes on to say "well if your pregnant I want a DNA test because it's not mine." I thought he was joking and then said "MAURY MAURY MAURY" and laughed he didn't.
My DH works from home and the only time I pop out is to go to my mums with the kids every other time we go out as a family. I'm not upset just abit gob smacked that he could even say that.

[MaidOfStars]

You didn't ask what he meant?!?

[Shoxfordian]

Maury?

He's rude

[teaortequila23]

I was so shocked I actually just stopped talking to him and fell asleep. Thinking back that's so not me I would have but his head off

[teaortequila23]

Maury is a DNA testing American Jeremy Kyle sort of show lol

[ImperialBlether]

Was he just joking that you rarely have sex together?

[DiscoDiva70]

Be wary when your partner accuses you of cheating ..... sometimes it's because they are.

[teaortequila23]

No we have sex every night we have been practising natural family planning for 5years and only had planned pregnancies. I think he means I never ejaculated inside for you to be pregnant so the baby isn't mine. I'm pretty sure he wasn't joking as he didn't even laugh

[RandomMess]

How nasty and ignorant of him! It's not 100% effective...

[x2boys]

Well natural family planning isn't 100% effective surely hes aware of that?

[toolonglurking]

You both sound like children, but him especially.

[Soubriquet]

I would feel like he didn't trust me

When trust is gone, relationship over

[BanginChoons]

What a dick.

[PsychoPumpkin]

Are you going to test to find out? A pregnancy test, not a DNA test, obviously!

What a strange response from him. Imagine if you were pregnant, he made you take a DNA test and it, naturally, was his child. How could he ever make that up to you?

[Motoko]

I'm surprised that you have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, and are having sex every day!

Are you happy having sex that often?
Don't you either refrain from sex or use a condom/cap during your fertile period?

[CardsforKittens]

Oh, NFP? My mum used to call it 'Vatican Roulette'. It's notoriously ineffective, unfortunately. Absolutely fine of course if you have moral objections to contraception and no medical reasons to avoid pregnancy, but if your husband thinks you can't get pregnant on NFP he needs an explanation of how it's supposed to work and why it frequently fails.

[HighwayDragon1]

What do you call people who are practising NFP?

Mum and dad.

It's well known that withdrawal is not an efficient contraceptive. Your partner is a dick.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Does he know how sex works? You've been incredibly lucky you haven't got more dc than that. If you don't want to be popping them out every year you need to be doing something more effective than that.
Stunned that you have the time or energy to dd everyday with two small kids.
But digressing-he's a dick.

[Livingdiisgracefully]

I'd be pissed off he asked me if I was moody because of my period. Are men never moody, then? Because they don't, you know, have periods.

If you genuinely aren't sure whether he was joking, I'd have to have a proper adult conversation about that. Not just, 'I don't have time to have sex with anyone else' but more what's is going on that you don't trust me. As pp suggested, I'd be a bit suspicious that he has been unfaithful too. Projecting his own guilt onto you.

[teaortequila23]

psychoPumpkin I won't test till next week as tests come up negative till about week 4with my previous pregnancies.
I don't know if he was being serious as to actually get a DNA test done. I think if he asked for one I would do it and leave him after.
Motoko yes I'm happy having sex that often.
My kids sleep around 7-8 giving us alone time.
And we don't ever refrain from sex I have a little app on my phone which is very reliable and on my fertile days we are just extra careful with the ending eg. Having sex then doing other things.(if that makes sense)

[KatharinaRosalie]

you have sex every night without contraception, and he does not believe you could be pregnant? Natural family planning is, to put it mildly, not 100% effective.

[astoundedgoat]

Obv. this isn't what you came on here to ask about, but unless that app on your phone is checking your basal temperature and cervical fluids, it hasn't the faintest idea of when your fertile days are. We charted for a year or two as contraception when we got married first (on the clear understanding that if I got pregnant that would be fine) and then charted in ORDER to get pregnant when we decided to start a family, but it's not just about dates.

If you are not pregnant this time, and you haven't read it yet, Taking Charge Of Your Fertility is a fantastic and illuminating read.

I am both v impressed that you are having so much sex with such tiny children, and slightly agog that you have sex daily, rely on NFP and this is your first pregnancy scare.

Your husband is being a bit of a jerk, btw. Do you really think he meant it, or was he being flippant an inadvertently rude?

[PsychoPumpkin]

Well I hope he was just having a bad day and wasn't being serious!

Do you want another baby?

[PoorYorick]

Katharina beat me to it. Is he a complete moron or just a hateful twat?

[DJBaggySmalls]

How can a man who uses natural contraception not know that you are not made of clockwork?