My DP and I met 15 years ago through business. We were both self employed in the same line of business. He was doing better than me, due mainly to my lack of experience. About 9 years ago we combined our businesses into a simple, non formal partnership i.e all costs of stock, adverts etc shared and all income shared. No premises, we traded for years on the net and in fairs. He invested more stock than me and he also financed much of our social life in the early years of our relationship as I was skint (nervous breakdown 20 years ago).
I had inherited a house 20 + yrs ago. Renovated it and tried to sell but decided to rent it instead (about the time DP and I joined forces). I also remortgaged as I intended to buy another buy to let. We have never fully lived together and both have own houses.
DP decided 5 years ago that since we were in business together, we should share everything including my rent. I agreed because DP had made a financial contribution (as desc above) and he needed the cash. We split the rental income 50/50 and so my portion fell short of covering the mortgage by £50.
Fast forward 5 years and things are different. 3 yrs ago I bought a large business premises (in my sole name) with the remortgaged cash and money from my mum.We have been trading from there for over a year and it is a fantastic business opportunity. Unfortunately, my DM passed away 9 months ago, after I had moved in to care for her during her last 3 years. I now live in DM house which is fine, but I obviously miss her financial contribution to the bills and have spent shedloads on doing up business premises. I have an interest only mortgage on the rental house with less than 10 years to go so wanted to start overpaying to reduce the capital.
A few months ago I tried to discuss the rental situation with DP as I wanted to change to splitting the profit not the rental income as I think that is fairer. DP has had about 10k in the last 5 years which balances out what he invested/spent on me in the early days. I have a new mortgage deal so now the rent covers the mortgage & insurance then we split profit 50/50. Of course WW3 broke out and I was accused of going back on the 'deal'. Huge row, didn't speak etc. In practice, it means DP gets £75 less per month than before.
We got through that but today he started again saying it wasn't fair saying I had reduced 'his' money (WTF!) and massively exaggerating the amount he claims to have spent on me years ago. I think I am being fair. What's the point of a buy to let if it doesn't pay the mortgage for fuck's sake!! I owned the house before I met him and it has nothing to do with our current business. He gets half the income from our current business set up and he didn't invest a penny. Granted, he works hard and he worked on the building (I paid him for that to safeguard myself). Of course he claims I didn't pay him enough and I couldn't have done it without him. He also continually reminds me how he 'carried' me in business while I was 'playing about' with mum i.e taking her to hospital, doctors, general caring. Not true, I worked bloody hard in the business as well but of course he has always worked much harder than me, according to him.
I am still grieving my mum and it is hard because I have no kids or siblings so basically no family left. I feel so alone and just think 'what's the point in me being here?' My DP who should be supportive, has been an utter cunt these past 6 months - I posted in Bereavement forum and you all told me to LTB but I didn't feel strong enough. On paper I seem to have it all - 4 properties, a decent inheritance (he doesn't know how much and is pissed off I wont tell him), degree educated, reasonable health, told I don't look my age (early50s), reasonable figure, nice personality and attractive face, according to my friends. (Not boasting honestly, as I have the lowest self esteem). But I just think my life is grim with no family. Still miss my mum.
So AIBU regarding rent?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To not want to continue sharing my buy to let income with non live in DP
25 replies
starshine1926 · 19/08/2017 00:14
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.