Restaurant Play Area, Young Child, were we UR?

[MuppetsUnited]

Was at a restaurant today that has a separate soft play area. I was with DD who's 2 and another relative of mine.

I will say I have nothing against older children being in the younger areas, I can think of lots of reasons why and generally don't mind older children trying to play/help my DD.

After DD had eaten I took her into the toddler bit of the play area. There was an older girl, who was maybe 6 also there. At first the girl ignored DD. DD loves the slide so was just playing on the little slide bit but coming to me for help.

After 3-4 times on the slide the girl offered to help DD up the steps to the slide so I could sit down so I stayed just outside the toddler bit to supervise.

DD does need a little bit of help getting up the steps of soft play, but this little girl kept picking DD up round the ribs and trying to lift her onto the steps. I went over twice and explained it would be easier for DD if she climbed onto the step first then offered DD her hand to help her up the steps (also thinking of the poor little girls back and knees as DD does sometimes kick when lifted) then they could go down the slides together (it was two slides together side by side IYSWIM). She did this a few times both times I spoke to her but then reverted back to trying to lift her.

The girls mum wasn't around as far as I could see - the soft play bit wasn't busy but it wasn't empty either but there was another room around the corner for teens with a dance room and stuff so assumed the mum could be there. So I decided to take DD back out of the play area telling the little girl that we were going for some ice cream now, and we might see her another time.

Take DD back to our table where my relative is waiting. Half way through DD eating her ice cream, the girl appears at our table again. Trying to talk to me and asking if DD is going back into the play area after she's had her ice cream. At no point where we rude or did we shout, we did politely say "where's your mummy? Don't you think she'll be wondering where you are?" but she just continued to chat to us and ask questions.

So my relative called the manager over when he walked passed the table, told him what had happened in the play area and now we were at the table. The manager got down to the girls eye level and spoke to her, again not rudely, and just said "these people are trying to eat, shall we find your mummy?" and lead her away from the table. Manager then comes back and apologizes, and offers to knock the cost of the puddings off the bill.

As we were leaving the girl was sat outside in the outdoor play area weathers been okish here today all on her own again. I felt a bit guilty as the girl looked really unhappy when she was outside, and I felt like it was my relatives fault that she was outside on her own, and she'd obviously just wanted to play and be friends with DD. Relative wanted to go back and tell the manager she was outside on her own again, but I was worried that would make the situation even worse for the girl and so we just left.

So were we UR for speaking to the manager in the first place? And should we have gone back and spoken to the manager when we saw her outside?

[Youcanttaketheskyfromme]

Well no but I'd have dealt with it myself by saying we were trying to eat and telling her Togo back to her parents.

[icelollycraving]

It seems a bit ott to involve the manager. Certainly no need for them to knock anything off your bill.
Poor kid though.

[paintingbutterflies]

I'm a bit surprised you involved the manager!

[Mountainviewloo]

Bizarre to speak to the manager

[GeillisTheWitch]

YWNBU to speak to the manager about the fact that she was bothering you at your table but I'm not sure what going back to tell them about her being on her own in the outdoor area would have achieved.

[PuppyMonkey]

I can't see why you told the manager what happened in the play area - or any of it really. Her parents were probably just sitting somewhere else eating, and told her she could play in the play area. At six, I think I'd expect her to understand about going back to find her own mum...

[GeillisTheWitch]

OP had already told her to go back to her mum and been ignored.

[PuppyMonkey]

Result though - getting free puddings

[PuppyMonkey]

I'd have probably taken her to look for mum myself in your situation.

[Youcanttaketheskyfromme]

She didn't tell her to go back to her mum though.

She asked leading questions in the hope the girl would leave. She didn't tell her directly to leave.

[raspberrysuicide]

I think she was being a nice friendly girl. If someone did that to my dd I would be really upset. Can't think why you would report it to the manager sounds a bit harsh tbh

[monkeywithacowface]

That's a very detailed post for what is essentially a non event. For future reference its pretty common for young kids to latch onto a family when playing their own and bored. They don't have the necessary social skills to take the hint to bugger off.

If it happens again just kindly but firmly send them on their way or be a miserable bitch like me and avoid engaging with them in the first place.

[BackforGood]

If you weren't able to find her 'responsible adult', then I can see why you involved the staff (although am completely confused by the knocking money off the bill ? ).
If you hadn't tried to find her adult, then I don't understand why you'd involve staff. The knocking money off the bill bit, suggests that your relative were complaining of being harrassed, rather than having concern for the child.
If child had managed to get out of the building without her adult, then that is the time to have involved the manager..... but then you left her ? (or is the play area only accessible from inside the building ??)

[caffeinestream]

Reporting it to the manager was a bit OTT - could you not just have taken her to find her mum?

[Bunnyhipsdontliegrl]

Wait, she was outside by herself? Was it closed or was there a way to leave?

You were very precious about the whole thing You should have told her "do not carry DD please""let us eat please". Why talking to the manager?

[littlebird7]

How sad for the little girl. You let her down when she had shown such kindness to your own child, firstly by not taking the time to find her parent(s) and leaving her there alone, and secondly 'reporting' her to the manager so she felt scolded and left outside.
Very unkind, she was only six!

[MuppetsUnited]

Outside play area can only be accessed from inside the building.

My relative wasn't intending to come across as complaining but may have done, she's not the most subtle of people when somethings annoying her.

[NachoAddict]

No need to involve the manager, a firm clear instruction to go back to her parents would have been enough I think.

[Glumglowworm]

Yabu to involve the management, you should've just kindly but firmly told her to go and play or go back to her parents . Children don't take hints.

[Kardashianlove]

I can't understand why you told the manager tbh.

The girl actually sounds really sweet, it sounds like she was playing nicely with your DD and helping her.

When you've got a 2 year old, a 6 year old probably seems really big and grown up but it's still quite little still. The girl probably won't have realised to leave you alone at the table, if you were taking to her/playing with her in the play area.

Also, saying 'where's your mummy, don't you think she'll be wondering where you are?' A lot of 6 year olds won't see that as a hint to go away, you need to be more direct (politely obviously).

[Beadieeye]

You involved management and accepted an apology and money knocked off...because a child dared to speak to you? This happens all the time in family play areas and restaurants! I find all this strange, sorry.

[heateallthebuns]

What beadieeye said!

[Aeroflotgirl]

I think op was right to involve the staff. The parents were nowhere to be seen, and this random kid keeps annoying them at the table when they are trying to eat.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I mabey would have got the girls hand and tried to find her parents table first, and told the parents that the child is on her own and wants some company.

[SnickersWasAHorse]

I can't believe the manager gave you a discount because of a complete non event that wasn't their fault.