I love my family but!

[fourfuckssake4]

As I said 'l love them, but! This year I have flown back 3 times at obvious cost ( not a problem, so far) I am the youngest of 4, our mum passed away 7 years ago and our (step) Dad very much respected and considered our Dad , Grandad, Great Grandad to us, our children and children's children. Dad has been in our lives for most of my life, 45 years. However, he is getting very awkward and downright hurtful to us all saying "you mean nothing" "you are not my family" ok, I understand we are not blood bonded. However, he has a nephew, niece, sister-in-law and a great niece in New Zealand who have suddenly come out of the "woodwork" since Mum died, flying over to see him fora few hours twice a year and basically saying they are his "blood relatives" We are all fine financially and expect nothing from our Dad as Mum entered the marriage with only love for him and 4 kids. Aibu in thinking they are being complete hard nosed what can we get freeloading greedy bastards? I am also knackered with having to put my diplomatic skills with the family to full use. Sorry for long post, could have been a bigger rant but finally got some space to myself at home( family home) with a glass of wine. Be gentle ladies

[Aquamarine1029]

Is your stepdad suffering from some kind of dementia? Saying those hurtful things may be caused by illness.

[fourfuckssake4]

No, I think he just misses Mum. He does suffer from arthritis which is affecting his mobility quite badly and is in pain with it. We did ( in a roundabout way) get him a mobility scooter which he loves and he can still drive and has his car. Our Dad thinks he is a 'bother to us' he is not

[Theonethingididntwant]

Four I worked in care for years. This is a really really big flashing sign for the start of dementia. you'd be amazed at how many people assumed the stuff their parents were saying or doing was down to spitefulness rather than a serious disease despite their parent being a lovely person generally before that.
Get an appointment for him. There are ways to help him without taking his independence away.

[fourfuckssake4]

Thank you for the replies. Will try to get him to a doctor. He is being very stubborn

[TheDropBear]

Like PPs my first thought was dementia too. One of the first signs of my Grandads absolutely lovely sisters dementia was when she started saying stuff like "oh it was ok for you, you got raised by both parents, I didn't because of you" to their younger half sister