There is a HUGE backstory to this which I won't go into but the upshot is I have a very strained relationship with my mother ("M") and sister ("S"). So strained that I only ever talk to them when it involves arrangements for handover for DD. I'm wondering if the history is clouding my judgement and thought I'd throw the situation to the vipers who will tell me straight.
It was DD's birthday (12th) and M called her to arrange an outing, suggesting shopping in X city (halfway between us and M suggesting I could drive the 50 miles to drop DD at the midpoint - no problem).
Dd has never been to X city so looking forward to it.
A week before the outing M messages me to say going to Y city now so will pick DD up from home. Y city being the local city DD has been to a million times.
I ask why to get told S would like to see DD and buy her something.
I ask whether this had been discussed with DD to be told they had tried to call DD but no answer. It turns out DD had two missed calls from S a couple of days before but no texts or voicemails from either of them.
I said that I thought it unfair plans were made with DD but changed with no discussion to fit in with S when I never stop S from seeing DD and will go out of my way to accommodate (driving places for handover) although S never does ask to see DD.
I suggested S could go to X city for the day with you both. M just said that as it was obviously a problem she'll stick to the original plan.
I tried to explain it wasn't whether it was X city or Y city or Timbuktu but that plans made with DD for her birthday had been changed to accommodate S with no discussion or even question of DD whether that was ok.
I don't know whether I was making a mountain out of a molehill out whether i was right to speak up?
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AIBU?
WIBU (re Dd's birthday)?
6 replies
ThePlaceboEffect · 23/07/2017 12:10
OP posts:
LindyHemming ·
23/07/2017 12:13
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