To cut contact with my mother

[usernamenottaken]

Let me first say, I'm sure I have my faults, but DM is the most selfish, narcissistic person to have walked the earth. This is coupled hand in hand with laziness/bad temper.

Today was the last straw. I'm doing a distance learning course and my end project is due soon. I have a DD (single parent) and I had mentioned to DM at the start of the year that it would be great if she could do a bit of childcare so I could work but then quickly (in the same conversation) that actually I'd set up something more concrete. I found out today I'd written the dates wrong, called DM, mentioned I was stressed and in crisis having lost the time. Her response was "Well I could have booked a holiday then, so its caused ME a lot of inconvenience"

I'm absolutely fuming. She's always been a narc, starts every sentence with me or I, only considers herself in situations, for example if we go out to dinner, it will be "well I don't fancy that/I want this" every. fucking. time.

This is coupled with a bad habit of making even the worst news all about her. Bereavements etc all revolve around how it affects her even when she isn't involved. She makes things about her that have nothing to do with her. She's also lazy (will make others pass her things right next to her in an entitled fashion) and bad tempered and won't ever consider anyone but herself. She says it was because she was 'spoiled' as a child and carries on as normal.

Even when I was a child (and still a bit now) around family she criticises me to look superior.

AIBU to cut contact? I'm actually going to go mad.

[Sushi123]

I wouldn't cut contact, that could hurt you in the future. I wouldn't ask her for anything though..don't contact her, let her contact you...

[user1469271468]

There's a book by Nina Brown called "The children of the self-absorbed" that you might find very helpful.

Having a narcisstic parent is no joke, horrible stuff. Hugs to you.

I know it's hard, really hard but a narcisstic (Grand)parent cannot be relied upon for child care. Have you got any kind of alternative support?

[Epipgab]

Have you told her you feel she makes everything all about herself? If so, I expect she'll have interrupted or denied it? Maybe you could show her this thread so that she has to read the specific examples you've given before she has the chance to talk over you. I guess she may be willing to finally listen instead of getting cut off. She might need help with changing though (therapy?) Can you work on distancing yourself emotionally so her behaviour doesn't bother you as much?