Kid next door

[Lana1234]

33 weeks FTP, very emotional and tired so may be over reacting

Just moved into a lovely 2 bedroom middle floor flat 3 weeks ago. Only moved down the road so know the area obviously, actually know our down stairs neighbours who are lovely and the upstairs neighbours are really nice as well from the few times we've met. The baby's bedroom is perfectly placed as it's not actually attached to the downstairs or upstairs flats so I'm hoping I won't cause too much disturbance for anyone.

I definitely think you've got to have a bit of give and take with noise but the child next door is absolutely wild...

Every single day from when he gets back from school until around midnight he is on xbox live (i assume it's this or otherwise he is talking to himself) swearing, screaming top of his lungs, high pitch shrieking and the worst banging very hard on my bedroom wall when he gets frustrated at the game. He bangs so hard you can hear it from the other side of the flat. He's 13 years old so not exactly a little child.

Saturday night I was woken at 4am by it so I banged back. I spoke to the father when I saw him in the street and just asked nicely if he could ask his son to just not bang on the wall. He just laughed at me and said "It was the weekend!" and walked away

This is seemingly the problem, his parents don't care, it's been said to me they are rarely there and are in the boozer a lot. They have late night parties on weekdays (I cant actually hear this as its on the other side of their flat). Previous tenants had the same issue. They never take him out or do anything with him so I feel genuinely sad for him tbh.

Just in the last hour he's banged on the wall 3 times, I banged back but he hasn't shut up and I feel a bit of a nob having a banging match with a 13 year old who isn't being told to not do that. What can I do though? FTP and I'm physically struggling a lot I just wanna rest in my bed I'm so tired 😓 am I being a bit cranky about it? I would like to have babies moses basket next to me to begin with but how can I if this child is bashing on the wall? We're with the same landlord. I don't really wanna have to complain about it but I don't know 😣

[Justhadmyhaircut]

Contact the landlord. . You are paying him rent to be able to enjoy your home.
And contact environmental health.
Start keeping a diary.

[AvoidingCallenetics]

I would complain to the landlord. And if the parents ate constantly in the pub and ignoring their child, I'd complain to social services too.

[Louiselouie0890]

Id be suprised of he can hear you banging for him to shut up. He'll most likely have a headset on so won't hear, also won't hear how loud he's chatting.

[Chattymummyhere]

Report to enviro health. That's not normal living noise. Make it his parents problem.

[ItWentInMyEye]

Not that it's an excuse, but could the kid have additional needs?

[Lana1234]

Your probably right on him wearing a headset. It's not just chatting though it's actual screams and then the banging is mad. I can deal with the shouting tbh but the banging has got me on edge (suffer from anxiety so that doesn't help). That's all I asked the dad for him not to do as well. I think I'll try have another word with him before anything else, I was probably too relaxed about it last time. I mean it's not a big ask is it?

[Spikeyball]

That's unusual behaviour for a NT 13 year old.

[chicaguapa]

When the baby is in with you, just wait for him to complain about the baby crying. Then you can negotiate "quiet time" for both of you (which you'll be able to do by moving the baby into the other room away from the other flats as per your original plan).

[Lana1234]

ItWentInMyEye it had crossed my mind but nothing has been mentioned to me by the dad but it's a possibility. I'm not mad at the kid tbh I feel sorry for him that's why I felt a bit of a nob banging back but I'm just so tired 😧

[Lana1234]

It is unusual behaviour isn't it. I feel a bad now in case he does have additional needs. I'm completely understanding to anything like that.

Chicaguapa I think that's not a bad idea, I mean there's got to be a bit of give and take living in flats

[Coloursthatweremyjoy]

My son has additional needs. He can get very high pitched on xbox live and there is banging. He bounces if standing but we have an office style swivel chair and he bounces on that creating a banging sound. He shrieks as well (I do stop him).

Mind you he is younger, we are detached and he has very restricted playing times, certainly not at night. This doesn't sound like the behaviour of a NT 13 year old.

I would complain to your landlord though at the very least he needs to quit at a reasonable time.

[Chattymummyhere]

My 8yr old got nuts on his Xbox live with his school friends. Jumping up and down they shout into their mics. But only during appropriate hours and his always constantly being told to sit down and Shh otherwise it will go off and repeat. At 13 his what a year 7 student I reckon his likely NT buy just one of those kids who gets ultra sucked into these things and has no sense of how loud he is due to the head set but the parents should be fixing it.

[justkeepswimmingg]

You definitely need to complain to the landlord. If all else fails then environmental health, like suggested above.
Sounds like you are just trying to keep the peace as you're worried about upsetting them - because when baby arrives he/she will make lots of noise. Just remember that they don't care about being mindful of how the noise and banging is affecting you, so don't give them the same courtesy.

[Birdsgottaf1y]

It's typical behaviour from a young teen who has been left unsupervised on the X-Box and isn't being pulled up on his behaviour.

It's the banging that is the main issue, so I would focus on that.

EV can supply you with noise monitoring equipment if it gets to that stage, so the LL would have to take action.

[Louiselouie0890]

I wouldn't say its unusual behaviour. People that play them can get crazy into it and they really don't hear themselves especially if they have a good headset. I tell my OH hes worse than football supporters

[Lana1234]

I get on really well with the landlord he knows my dad as well so I might have a word with him unofficially just to see if he can just have a word. I'm so tired and on edge I don't want to cause a falling out. I feel like sometimes my anxiety amplifies situations to be worse than they maybe are. If the child does have additional needs which it sounds like he might do then I wouldn't want to punish him for the noise by disturbing him.

[Aquamarine1029]

Stop banging back and start keeping a record of all of the disturbances. Recording it would be great. Then go to your landlord and report this as much as you need to. You are PAYING to live there and you have a right to a peaceful atmosphere. This situation is ridiculous.

[Lana1234]

zzzzz It could be, I know he's likely getting carried away so maybe he jumps around and the bed knocks on the wall and he can't hear it himself or hear how loud his shrieking can be. I'm gonna talk to his dad again and stress it properly this time how loud it can be, I can be far too nice with people sometimes need to be a bit firmer

Thanks for the advise everyone, definitely need a good night's sleep, I'm too emotional about everything in this state. I'll do my best to not disturb them when the babies here so I hope we can sort this between us now. If not then as suggested I'd talk to the landlord.