To be worried about what might happen next?

[PhantomBlooper]

Posting here for traffic.

I opened up to my GP yesterday about feeling low and suicidal.

She made an urgent referral to CMHT and let me go home with my partner after confirming I will be safe.

They have called me today and then have asked me to go to see them at the hospital at 4. I'm absolutely terrified that they will want to admit me/section me.

I don't really know what to do? AIBU to be scared?

[Neverknowing]

Unlikely, my mother and I both attempted suicide multiple times and have never been admitted.
My mother had two children at home as well so you'd think they'd do something. BUT if they do admit you it'll be for your health, they obviously would be very worried about you and I've heard lots of success stories.
I hope they manage to help you op

[thatorchidmoment]

They will only admit you if you are at serious and immediate risk of self harm or suicide. If you have made plans and thought seriously about how you would go about carrying out self harm or ending your life (I'm very sorry if the way I'm putting things is upsetting: I'm only trying to explain), they must admit you for your own safety.

It sounds like you are feeling very low and thoughts of harming yourself are occurring to you but I don't get the sense in your post that you have intent to act upon them? In that case, you need urgent crisis care but this almost always takes place in the community. Depending on your local resources, an assessment might be done with a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse who will ask you lots of questions to determine your state of mind and see how best to help you at this point. I know locally this is sometimes done at the hospital but not with the intention of admission. It's just not always possible for a psychiatrist to go and see someone in their own home.
It sounds like you have a responsible and supportive partner who can be with you at home, is this correct? This makes it even less likely that you would be deemed at sufficient risk to need admission.
Most likely scenario is that you will be assessed at the hospital and have a plan in place for frequent contact from mental health services at home or on an outpatient/clinic basis. If you are not on medication such as antidepressants, you might be started on them and monitored closely for the next few weeks as it can take some time for your mood to lift on them.
I really hope you get the support you need and please don't be terrified that you will be flung into a psychiatric ward! That is usually reserved for when someone has a huge crisis and is in immediate danger, as I said above.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

I had a huge breakdown in front of my GP at Ds's eight week checkup. Was urgently referred to the Adult mental health team and had an assessment at the hospital. As a result of that, I quickly got a psychiatrist appointment and a community psychiatric nurse. I found the latter totally useless but that was because of a personality clash.

No one suggested sectioning me even though I was honest that I was suicidal. I'm now seeing a Psychologist to try and deal with the issues eating away at me.

Hope things go okay this afternoon.

[DesignedForLife]

I was terribly suicidal and SI'ing for years and never got sectioned. Things have to be pretty extreme for that I think.

I'm glad you're getting help and we're able to open up to the GP. It's an important first step to getting the support you really need. Keep holding on, things can & will get better!

[PhantomBlooper]

Thank you for your responses.

The reason I am so worried is that I have disclosed to them that I have self-harmed today, and also spoken to them about my plans to commit suicide.

They have asked me if I am safe repeatedly and at present I am. I've been compliant and sought out help, so I'm hoping this means I won't be viewed as a danger. It's such a hard balance - I feel unpredictable and out of control on one hand, but I want to demonstrate as far as I can that I'm not a risk. It's a weird line to be toeing.

[thatorchidmoment]

Phantom I'm so sorry to hear that you have indeed self-harmed today and that you have been making plans for ending your life. In that case, you clearly need an assessment where you need to be absolutely honest about what is going through your mind and what you feel you want to do. It isn't always the case that you would be admitted, but what you have said in your update makes it sound a bit more likely to be honest.

If you are deemed to need admission for urgent treatment and monitoring for your safety, you would initially be asked to go in as a voluntary patient. If you refused this, there is a legal process that the mental health team need to go through if they consider that your mental state does not allow you to see the danger of refusing admission and they deem it necessary. This is detaining under the mental health act or 'sectioning'. Most often patients will consent to admission for treatment and are voluntary, so sectioning is not as common as you might think.

I very much hope that you manage to get the support you need at home if that is best for you. If you need to go in as a patient, you will be asked for your consent for this.

I am thinking of you and I hope you get to the other side of this soon.