neighbours can hear all of my conversations.

[dionne25]

My neighbours can hear all of my conversations and they use it to intimidate.There have been disputes over overgrown gardens and whose responsibility it is.I hear them discussing conversations that I have with friends and family when I am on the phone and sometimes they have managed to find out information that I know I would not discuss with them.My privacy is completely violated and they don't care.At the moment there is an ongoing dispute over Ivy in the next doors garden and environmental health are now involved.The police turned up at my door and said that there has been a complaint from the neighbour. I had to tell them everything that was going on, the next day the neighbour on the right whose garden is covered with Ivy for the first time ever began cutting down the Ivy because I had to tell the police that environmental health is taking them to court.Thats when I realised that they started to clear the garden because they heard the discussion I had with the policeman. Now when I talk on the phone I mostly go outside or to the park because I know their listening.

[IndianaMoleWoman]

Do you mean you're talking so loudly on the phone that the neighbours can hear? Or that you think the neighbours are bugging your phone?

[DrSpin]

Can you have a sorties of very fake conversations, really ridiculous stuff mixed with possibly real stuff, so they don't know the truth?

[Want2beme]

How are they able to hear so much? Are the walls very thin or have they bugged you?

[malmi]

What's your AIBU?

[ArtemisiaGentilleschi]

Do you have an overgrown garden?

What did the police come out for?

[LaurieFairyCake]

Just start letting them know what you want the to hear

Lottery win/Ukrainian family moving in to your spare room/your dogs pregnant and you're turning your garden into kennels etc etc

[dionne25]

I do not talk loud but it has now come to my attention that the walls are very thin.If the phone rings in the bedroom in the morning and I just say hello and then start to speak in a morning tired voice the neighbour shouts out her sons name to warn me that she can hear me. I can hear the neighbours in the bedroom moans, groans , coughs and sneezing.Sometimes I do not like to sleep their as I am now aware of the situation. Ultimately I will move because the situation with what they can hear is unacceptable. I also do my banking from home and am not sure how clearly they can hear what I am saying or if they can hear clearly numbers.They are using the situation to prey and intimidate me and I do not reciprocate their bad behaviour.I looked over the fence and the neighbour at the back reported me to the police for snooping.The police said that I had done nothing wrong and said it was a civil matter and seeing the toxic situation that I am in offered to act as mediators and became my friends.
On the back fence were over grown conifers which eventually grew to over 18 to 24 feet and damaged the back wall. It took about 6 months for me to get them to cut the conifers but the wall is damaged and splitting.To the left the garden is overgrown with Ivy and their are also rats which has been confirmed by environmental health. My garden is mainly hard landscaping (really easy to spot a dead rat).When I moved the garden to the right looked like a building site.They have now tidied up that garden and a few illegal constructions were erected which I had to ask them to take down as they were damaging the only good walls.
The authority is doing as much as they can seeing the situation that I am in. The bottom line is the neighbours all let the gardens overgrow and unfortunately when I viewed the property it looked like quite a pleasant outdoor space hidden by the overgrowth.
What concerns me is how much they can hear my conversations.I have tried playing music when I am on the telephone but I can't hear myself speak. Noise proofing this house is too expensive I've committed myself to other building projects in the house all with the view to sell the property. I feel like my privacy has been invaded and am not comfortable in the house anymore.I"ve given myself a two year deadline to move thats the only option. Thanks for all your comments.
Dionne

[HildaOg]

For them to hear word for word what you're saying then you're shouting. They're likely repeating all your private conversations back because they're sick of listening to it. Quiet your tone. People in the next room shouldn't hear you let alone all the neighbours in their homes!!!

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Get your walls soundproofed. Our neighbour bought a piano and they sound proofed the wall because they thought it would disturb us. They even apologised for tge building noise whilst the sound proofing was put in. Nice neighbours!

[dionne25]

As I said I am not shouting. Regards

[HildaOg]

You may not realise how loud you were. They wouldn't be able to hear your private conversations in their homes from yours if you weren't yelling. Most new builds are so badly soundproofed that you can hear the neighbours but the words will be muffled unless they're shouting. I bet you don't hear their private conversations.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

It worked to your advantage in this instance though. The neighbours heard you talking to the police about the ivy and they cut it down.

Try not to get too paranoid about them overhearing conversations. I don't suppose your conversations are that interesting.
If you have to make some sort of highly private call, use your mobile phone?

[FreeWeezy]

I think you may be louder than you realise. I live in a terrace. On one side is a family of 6. I never hear their conversation. I can hear then shouting to one another or when they have music on. However on the other side are two men and one is so loud I can hear every word he says. It's very very annoying. Try and be conscious of how loud your voice is and talk a bit more softly.
I don't mean this to sound rude, sometimes I get a bit loud and my dp has to tell me to quieten down

[BangkokBlues]

Why is it so hard to believe that some houses have shit sound proofing?

In the kitchen and hallway and adjoining bedroom I can hear every conversation next door have st perfectly normal volumes, and I'm sure they can hear everything I say.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I can too, Bangkok, I'm just really not interested in listening to what my neighbours are saying and I doubt they pay much interest in our conversations either.
I can't imagine OP's neighbours are listening in to all phone calls or are paying much attention. It would be a boring way to spend your time!

I think the feud between OP's neighbours has made her overly anxious and paranoid.

[SouthChinaMorningPost]

OP, surely you can hear them too, right?

[MissDuke]

Eek sounds like a right nightmare. The thing is if you are planning on moving anyway, I wonder would it be better to try hard to keep a low profile and not involve the police etc unless absolutely necessary? My concern is that all of these neighbours disputes have to be declared to potential buyers which will surely hamper your ability to sell. Who would buy it when you have disputes with all three neighbours?

I think I would keep my head down and try and see if it can improve if you keep yourself to yourself, do consider the fact you may be louder on the phone than you think as my dh is - he doesn't realise he is doing it either. Sell asap.

[justpoppingby]

Random off chance but You don't happen to be using a (binatone ) cordless phone, do you op?
We had one, for about three days, our neighbours came and told us that whenever we used it, they could hear us on their tv! Luckily I never dissed them whilst on the phone 😬

[Privocate]

People should not be using your accommodations vulnerability, to aid them in a campaign of harassment, bullying and intimidation. Shame on them, but rejoice that they cannot be very happy people.

[Chandline19]

Im having the same problem it start bothering me when i talk they can heard everything i say next wall to the left when i talk or listen to my favorite pop music ,neighbors to the left side go complain to my boyfriend that my brain is shot im crazy she can heard im listening to the same music over and over again thats my house i pay for it i can play my crack music over and over and do whatever i want its none of your business im crazy cause of what im listening and next neighborhood to the right tell my boyfriend she can heard all conversations i never knew that i was talking to my friend on the phone about sex like weird thing thats happened or my social security when im calling my social gave out my social found job they heard one day i get out the house u know i was talking to the bank and my social security i gave out to my bank my card number and suddenly next hour i get out for my mail i see somebody wrote my social in a piece of paper and bank card on a paper and throw it on the ground on the yard i go online im missing $185 dollars on checking they take it all left my bank card blank when i check they buy something online with it next time its deactivated i miss my payroll and everything i have to resignup for the bank again . call bank theres nothing they cant do about it.except new card and thats it.

[Instatwat]

I used to live in a flat with very thin walls. The last straw was when I sneezed and the guy next door said “bless you” through the wall in a very conversational tone.
I moved!

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

If the neighbours can hear you but you can't hear them then you're loud. Have you had a hearing test recently. Sometimes hearing problems creep up on people and they just start talking louder and louder to compensate. Come to think of it, that could be why you can't hear your neighbours.

[dottiedodah]

Lots of homes seem to have very thin walls!.Our old house walls were so thin that we could hear Bedroom Antics!.Also TV stereo and so on .Once we could even smell strong onions in our bedroom!.Lots of homes in the 60s and 70s were built quickly and cut a lot of corners!.If you do move try to buy an older house if you can

[HiJenny35]

Lots of houses have thin walls. However you are being loud. If I'm on the phone talking in a normal close with the door shut my family can't hear the conversation within the house. It's irrelevant that you think you are being quite. Also what do you want anyone to say, if you don't want them to know certain things don't say them and move on less than two years. They can't unhear.

[TiredOldTable]

Don’t you think it is more likely the police spoke to them and told them? If they complained then the police will have spoken to them after they spoke to you.