I'm not sure why I do this?!

[PonyPals]

Don't know if the title is really clear but didn't know how to word it.

I have a DS who is 1.5. He is very sweet natured and smiley and seems to attract a lot of attention - especially from lovely old ladies. Many of them mention how friendly and placid natured he is etc.

But what I have noticed is I do this weird thing where instead of saying Thank you... I start saying things like 'just wait half an hour and you will see what he is really like' or 'he had a good nap that's why he is so quiet'

The thing is... he is placid, that's his nature, so why do I make things up to make him seem different to what he is.
I used to do that a lot when he was a baby as I couldn't relate to what the mothers in the group were going through ( I got lucky and he slept well and hardly cried) so I pretended he didn't sleep and I had the same issues as the rest of the mothers. I guess I understand back then I was trying to fit in but why do I do that now with total strangers.
Don't know what my AIBU is.... it's more a question as to why I am being so weird!!

[TidyDancer]

It's because you're seeing it as a compliment and you're not good at taking them. I'm the same.

[BrevilleTron]

Did your mum do the same with you?
Enjoy him and stop 'excusing' his good behaviour. Trust me once they hit the teens you'll have plenty of legitimate gripes (😉😂😂😭😭)

[wewentoutonsunday]

It's not weird, it's completely normal

[MoodyOne]

I'm the same... I think it's so I don't sound too PFB about it all.
He doesn't sleep through though. He is adorable and perfect in most ways. But I can hardly say... oh yes I know he is perfect, it's because he is mine.
😂

[DeadGood]

You don't know how to accept compliments.

Think of a script to follow for future. "Yes, I'm lucky, he's a happy little chap" or whatever. Then practice

[Cantseethewoods]

I used to do that a lot when he was a baby as I couldn't relate to what the mothers in the group were going through ( I got lucky and he slept well and hardly cried) so I pretended he didn't sleep and I had the same issues as the rest of the mothers.

That was actually a pretty smart tactic. No-one wants to be mum friends with the one with a perfect baby

That aside, I think most people are bad at accepting compliments. I used to be the same until one of my friends basically told me that it's kind of rude to the complimenter because it suggests that they dont know what they're talking about in front of others

e.g. "Cantsee is a very good runner".

Me: "Oh no, really, I'm not good at all"

She said if you get embarassed, the stock reply can just be "Thank you, that's very kind of you".

I started doing that and actually, it works a lot better than deflecting.

[Palegreenstars]

Ahhhh I do this with my daughter too. Part of me thinks it's just for something to say to strangers.

I do think it's about taking compliments and wanting to fit in.

[LadyBitterSparkles]

I'm like this too! Sometimes I really try not to deflect the compliment, I end up saying 'thank you! I think so too, but then I'm a bit biased hahaha'. Trying to make a joke out if it but it doesn't really work.

[witsender]

I tend to say something like "oh yes, we're very happy with them"...which tends to get a laugh. But mine are a bit older, I don't think it would be nice to make disparaging comments about them just to make me/others feel more comfortable.

[Only1scoop]

Op I'm exactly the same. Totally hear you and relate entirely.

[Whatsername17]

It is brilliant that you recognise this. Please try to stop. Say 'I know, I'm really lucky' instead. I say this as a woman who has serious self esteem issues because that was my mums stock reply through out my childhood and teenage years. I was a good kid, but being complimented then having my mum say 'oh Well, you should see her when....' made me feel like I wasn't good enough. She now talks about what an amazing kid I was - she's got no idea how badly it affected me.

[PonyPals]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I think you are right.. I don't take compliments well and I don't want my son to grow up and think I talk negatively about him coz he is amazing!
I will take your advice and just say "thank you, I am very lucky, he is lovely"

[kiwiquest]

My DD was an easy baby. As a toddler she still sleeps like a teenager. She's easy going and sociable. If I get compliments I always just say it's nothing to do with me that's just her personality she's fab. Who knows what challenges she'll have to face in the future with school, employment, relationships. Let's face it life is hard. My view if she's having an easy time of it now just kick back and enjoy it.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Yes thank you. I am lucky. Let's hope I don't get payback when he is a teenager! (If you feel you need add something). He sounds lovely. Enjoy!