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To just want some time to myself?

(7 Posts)
RiversrunWoodville Wed 31-May-17 10:53:30

I know I probably am an introvert, and I have some chronic health issues but at the moment I'm just bloody fed up and want a few hours to myself. We are a veg farm so it's a busy time and have 2 dds who are very full on especially dd2 who is 2 and as all 2 year olds can be demanding. I do all the household admin as well as all the farm admin plus some for a few other farmers to bring in some extra plus the normal housework, cooking etc when I'm well enough. DH does help with childcare with dd1 (dd2 is almost velcroed to me) and will feed the three of them if I'm not well enough. If I'm lucky I sneak off for an occasional bath just me and it's bliss! He works hard on the farm and admits its great out on the tractor at times nobody near him but gets really offended when I say I would love even an hour or 2 just on my own he could have the girls, he just says "but sure you'd rather spend that time with me wouldn't you?" all hurt. Aibu just to want some alone time for once?

Shoxfordian Wed 31-May-17 12:15:39

Definitely not unreasonable

Can you drive the tractor?

SapphireStrange Wed 31-May-17 12:18:24

DH does help with childcare... and will feed the three of them if I'm not well enough.

It's not 'help with childcare'. They're HIS children. This is really important. Would you ever describe yourself, or would he describe you, as 'helping with childcare'? NO? Thought not. He's not doing you a favour –he is actually shirking a lot of what is HIS responsibility.

Why will he only feed them if you're not well? Why can't you take it in turns to cook? You could have a bit of downtime while he did so.

You're not being U. Your husband is being a tosser.

PeanutButterJellyTimeforTea Wed 31-May-17 12:19:24

* he just says "but sure you'd rather spend that time with me wouldn't you?" all hurt*

Why don't you say NO, I'd rather have some time for myself like a normal person, and then take some?

DeadGood Wed 31-May-17 12:21:32

Start standing up for yourself OP. No one else will do it for you.

Also, being an introvert is not a crime.

RiversrunWoodville Wed 31-May-17 15:43:08

I have said I want time for myself and that dd2 will be fine with him once I'm not there as her first option, it's just getting time organised around the farm. TBH I am getting so anxious now that I think it's going to have to be laid out as right take them out on Saturday and don't come back for xxx amount of time or he will always find things to do as it genuinely is a busy time.

He doesn't cook unless I'm unwell because he goes out in the morning then comes in for lunch back out, same after dinner etc but he does the school run since some of the medications I'm on mean I can't drive at the minute.
Shox think I will learn!

LovelyBath77 Wed 31-May-17 18:32:28

I have the same thing with my DH- he doesn't seem to get the need for time alone- but then they aren't with them all the time are they!- he also seems to feel a bit rejected when in fact it's not that I don't want to see him in particular I just want to be alone! I think it might be a good plan to send them off for the morning as you say. Good luck.

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