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To. Move house or not move house !!

(20 Posts)
ginorwine Sat 20-May-17 23:43:44

I really would appriciate views - I can't tell if being reasonable or rational anymore
We love our house - the house itself v much . Have debated move over years but never have . Been here 15 years - lovely community and fantastic house which we have done up to our taste . The bedroom and kitchen and views give me joy daily .i never want to leave this house if I could stop some things ..

The neigbour is allowed to walk across our garden to get bibs out allow acces to builders etc
. When dc small it was all bonkers anyway so it didn't bother me much
As I get okder this bothers me more as does hearing voices thro the walls including neigbour having sex
Then ... our gardens are 12 feet wide and long - for many years I was v v lucky in that the neighbours didn't use that part of the garden exept fur sheds
My neigbour has now , into the second summer , been building a studio - he has put it within 3 feet of my shed - he is perfectly entitled to do so .. I so enjoyed my little sumner house and sat there daily - it was my special little place
The neigbour is going to play guitar with friends there
Listen to music
Read potter - I wd too -it will be fab wen it's done .
The trouble is he sits so v close to me ( he entitled to use fardennas he wants ) and it feel s really intrusive .
He has been building for 2 summers now and up until now has banged 6 days a week right next to me ( now agreed to 5)
He says he cannot tell me when iir will poss end . I explained that folk can anticipate an end then they can just get on with it .. he says it will take as long as it takes .,( asked only for approx date to say 6 months ish)
So with all the banging and the studio I feel really unsure if I will enjoy the garden again
I tried to sit at the top but this is where he passes thro my garden quite a bit - bins building materials etc so I only feel the middle of my garden is 'mine ' now .
I love love the inside of my house
I can hear thro the walls
Pass thro garden
These I coped with as love it so
But .. now this I'm not sure .. we viewed a great house in near by area today - if I didn't love my house -?id love this one - it's detatched so wdnt hear neighbours thro walls
It's got a private garden
- privacy
My dh wants to buy it .. I feel sick - I'm attatched to this house but it drives me mad ! Feel panic . My friend said he 100%!sure u want to move - well I don't - im just nit sure
I can tolerate what round me ! Wish I was a chilled person !
Anyone else had similar ?
I've been craving a detatched house.. are they really as good as imagine ? And if so are they worth moving to a less fab area to get one ?
There are mostly terraces here - the detached ones are way way above what I could afford !
So fab area and all these issues or bioring area and detached ?? !
Is it really quiet in detatched ? I don't want to build a false fantasy about it as I don't want to leave here if it's not a life changer !
Sorry to go on and on
I'm loosing my marbles ! 😄

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 20-May-17 23:47:03

Fuck, don't move. Moving is horrid.

How much time do you really spend in the garden? Fence off the bit that you feel is 'yours' and have a little one. Gardens are needy, high maintenance dicks at the best of times.

Hang rugs on the walls to muffle the shagging.

HeddaGarbled Sat 20-May-17 23:55:40

Well, you definitely have less disturbance from inside the house with a detached (no voices or sex) but your garden will still be adjacent to other people's gardens so there is no guarantee that you won't get outside noise. But your current situation sounds intolerable to me and I would definitely be prepared to move for a private garden.

If you can live with the in-house noise, the real problem is your inconsiderate neighbour, his ongoing building work and his right of access over your garden, not the detached/adjoined thing. Maybe the compromise is just a different house in your current area?

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath Sat 20-May-17 23:55:52

Move,areas change and it sounds as if although you love this house you have outgrown it.You can make the new house your own and your DC and you can enjoy the garden.Go around the new house at different times of day,list the pros and cons because despite losing your house you are not enjoying it.
Change is always daunting but can be exciting too.

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 00:10:28

Thanhs replies I do appriciate it .
Hothead what did I mean when you said I may have outgrown it - interested in that ...
I think noise in and out is difficult combined with the walk across the garden - it's not often but it's the nit knowing wen ! It can be for hours equally tho . They had small garthetjg last year and they allowd pals to come that way instead of frount door - sone of whom I kno and all said hi as they passed by kitchen
I'm sociable but nit that much !
I'm my area which is a small community in a city many houses are like this ( hence it attracts a flexible friendly type ) as I'm in my 5 o s now I'm more intolerant - is it a thing related to age for some ?!

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 00:13:47

I'm not enjoying my house that's true but I'm anxious of resetting feeling forced out if that makes sense .. yes noise in any other garden I agree but no one walking across wd be quite something
I spend hours in the garden normally - i work part time and can spend whole day in there ..

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 08:01:40

Thanks have been thinking about what you all said and have been awake a lot of the night
I think I'm afraid to leave here ascall my friends of 15 years live here too and we have brought out kids up together and we do things like pop round forveinebor coffee - e.g. If I park in my street my friend shouts come in for wine !abd I love it - however it's only 3 miles away but spontibatky will be lost too .. got to put that in pot too ..

EllaHen Sun 21-May-17 08:10:35

I would definitely move. Peace and quiet and privacy are what makes my house my sanctuary.

Your neighbour sounds like an inconsiderate dick.

thethoughtfox Sun 21-May-17 08:15:21

You had me out the house at the first mention of neighbour noise especially sex noises. That's a special kind of awfulness.

pinkdelight Sun 21-May-17 08:55:04

Move. The neighbour situation would drive me mad and a detached house and private garden would sort all that. You sound like a person who would make a nice home, find joy in it and make friends in a new place anyway, and as you say, it's not far away so you'd still see people. The fact that your DH is so certain would give me a lot of reassurance. Embrace the adventure. You're unlikely to regret it whereas you'll definitely regret staying as neighbour's not likely to change behaviour.

pinkdelight Sun 21-May-17 08:56:03

And you don't want things with neighbour to escalate so that it becomes harder to sell your house further down the line.

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 09:33:46

My neigbour feels he has every right to build and it will tak as long as it takes .. I told him that it was causing stress and that if we cd just have end date it wd help phychologocslly and actually burst into tears - I didn't mean to. !
I'm now worried that I'm really sensitive - I kno there will be noise in other houses but at least detatched has a wider garden and I can choose wether to be 3 foot away or not ...

SkyBluePinkToday Sun 21-May-17 09:50:54

I would move, but maybe find somewhere closer to your current house.
We had similar problems - lived next door to a young lad who installed a hot tub in the garden and an external sound system - literally huge speakers outside. Every sunny day he was in the tub blaring out his music. It was crap. I stopped going outside and found it very stressful.
Moving has been fantastic - we have normal neighbors now which means the odd bit of music occasionally but at much lower levels. I can enjoy my garden again. Life is lovely and peaceful.

Msqueen33 Sun 21-May-17 09:56:05

Personally I'd start to look at other houses to see how you feel. In the meantime I'd have a frank conversation with your neighbours.

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 10:00:38

Sky I'm so glad to hear that your new house is great
I must admit my current neighbours are very pleasant apart from the build as they are quiet and polite and the area attracts folk who can live v v near otherss as you all have to be close
My area is only 6 streets at the top of a city
It's all terraces exept for a few end terrace and a few like terraced in shape but detatched . And they are out of our price range . Houses rarely come up - one sold last week in a week - you can walk into the city and the gardens are 100 ft but thin
There are no mid options in my area and another terrace - the one that sold - I kno you can hear thro the walls because my friend had to move due to a drummer next door .
So it's a lottery here as you friend on neighbours who sort of determine yr life - and most people are lovely it's a real community but it leaves you a little vuknerabke to who moves in ...

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 10:06:28

M s q
We have negotiated 5 day a week build now
There is nothing can do about studio so near and he says he will spend much time in it and will play music quietly
The garden is only 12 foot ishbwide ( I can sit in middje tho as it's 100 ft long ) but it feels so close now
He won't give end date and that is that
I'm not sure what I could say.. at a loss ... he is aware this is second summer of build ... part of me thinks stick it out as worse nearly over .. but the walk across the garden - not oft just unpredictable - is what is hard now as it's hard to let someone who annoys you walk past yr French windows ! He has every right to do so
It's an old pass thro cos of bibs and he uses it a lot at mo to carry building materials across to his garden as no other way in ....

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Sun 21-May-17 10:12:50

If you can comfortably afford a move and find something you love then I would move personally

rizlett Sun 21-May-17 10:18:44

Definitely move - because as you say - you love the INside of your house - how exciting will it be to recreate that in your new place.

flownthecoopkiwi Sun 21-May-17 10:21:09

We moved from a three bed semi with similar garden, to a detached 5 bed. No regrets and having a wider wrap around garden is fab

ginorwine Sun 21-May-17 16:33:23

Thanhs all
I so appriciate it the one we have seen is a wrap around garden ... with drive
But admit it's in a boring area - very conservative - where I live now is ten min walk into city with a great vibe and canal walks direct from house .. compromise compromise
But I can't only afford detatched there - I thknk I'm worried because they say location
! My pals say oh I can't imagine you there ...!!! It's only 6 min away on train but v v diff area - suburbia .

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